Losing a Friend

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kitadog
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Losing a Friend

Post by kitadog »

I want to share a story about my dog Kita. He is dying right now at the old age of 13, mostly likely from cancer. I find writing this to be a bit therapeutic. Hope you all don't mind but this is a sad time.

It all started when some family friends got a Chow puppy to replace their recently deceased family dog. He wasn't what they expected I guess so my parents said we'd take him. When my family took Kita I was still in high school and he was just a young pup. Kita and I bonded and, quite frankly, I don't think anyone else in my family understood him like I did. They were all so used to "regular" dogs and a Chow Chow just isn't quite like that, they're special. Kita and I respected each other and he quickly learned to trust me. Over the years he would end up biting or snapping at both my parents but I swear he would have given his life before ever biting me.

I moved away to go to college and couldn't take Kita with me. Years past and I didn't return home very often at all. Kita was an outside dog and wasn't getting very much attention from my parents. Less interaction meant there was no trust or respect between them. He wouldn't let my parents groom him so his fur became a matted mess. He got into foxtail weeds which burrowed into his skin. He started to develop abscesses from the stickers. He seemed like a mean, grumpy, and dangerous dog and my parents contemplated having him put down on several occasions.

I got married, started my career, and bought a house. Finally I had a place where I could own a dog but I didn't ask for Kita right away. This I truly regret and will always feel bad about. But about 4 months ago I went home for a visit and there he was. A matted and dirty mess of a dog. I stepped outside to see him and he came right over to me, just like I'd never left, and he put his head again my leg. I cried, and I don't cry very often. Before I could say anything my wife did and it was settled, we were taking Kita.

Kita had to be completely stripped such that he was bald. Boy did he look funny! Kinda like a Tasmanian devil or something. We put salve on his sores and picked out the stickers. He adjusted to his new home slowly. I repeatedly warned my wife to be careful around him and I told her that Kita has bitten before and couldn't be trusted. He had been an outside dog so we intended to leave it that way. Also, we have inside cats and feared that Kita would kill them if given the chance.

For brevity's sake I'll jump ahead a bit. Kita quickly adopted my wife and absolutely adores her; she hugs and kisses this formerly "vicious" dog daily. Kita was also trusted inside which is something I was skeptical about but my loving wife thought would work. Well, she was right. It took a DAY to have him housebroken, cat accepting, and to stay on his dog bed. Kita was eventually trusted enough to be left inside for short trips to the store. Not one problem with him. He also learned to enjoy car rides, walks on the beach, and strangers (when introduced by us though he almost busted through the screen door to get the gutter man though because he came into the yard through the side gate!). He didn't dig anymore; didn't bark; learned to sit, heel, stay, and lay down. All this in a couple of months. And all, my wife points out, because of love.

Kita stated to throw up about a month ago. It was sporadic at first and was mostly bile. We took him to the vet and had test run they all came back negative/normal. We tried several medicines but nothing worked. We switched his food, made sure he wasn't eating plants and stuff, and researched the heck out of Chows and dog ailments online but nothing worked.

Kita stopped eating last week so I took him back into the vet. I decided not to do X-rays and scopes on a 13 year old dog as it would only likely confirm what we all suspected, that Kita has cancer. So my wife and I decided to just make him as comfortalbe as possible and have continued to give him the love that he so badly needed all those years.

I still feel so bad about abandoning my old friend when I left home. My wife reminds me that I couldn't have had a dog while in college and she's right, but I still blame myself in some ways. This experience has been truly amazing and I know that I am blessed to have spent these last four months with my old friend. He's has taught me more that I ever thought possible. I will miss him very, very much.

When the time is right we will get another Chow and we want to honor Kita by not getting a puppy but a rescue dog that is in need of a loving home. Thanks for giving me a place to share my thoughts, and a place to look when we needed help or advice.


Bryan
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Post by IliamnasQuest »

Welcome to the list, Bryan.

It's a tough thing when we leave home and leave the family dog behind .. while we expect them to be taken care of, that's not always the case. You are the second person recently who has posted about the lack of care their family dogs were given after they left home. But it's a difficult time - a transition from childhood to adulthood and all the changes and schooling that goes with it. Having a dog with you at that time is not always possible.

I'm glad you were able to bring Kita back into your life and provide a warm, loving home for him at this time. I think he's taught you some things, too, that will help you when you decide to bring another dog into your life. There are many lost chows out there needing a home, when you are ready for a new friend.

Good luck to you all -

Melanie and the gang in Alaska
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Post by Judy Fox »

Please don't feel bad - you did not have a choice and you know that so don't beat yourself up. Your wife is very kind and understanding and when the time comes for Kita to go to the Happy Hunting Grounds, you will know that he was happy in these last months. That is what he knows now so he will be happy and so will you. :)
These situations happen and there is nothing that can be done. Kita obviously does not hold it against you so don't you hold it against you. Just love him whilst you can and have no regrets. :)
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Post by Mandy »

What a touching story. You shouldn't feel bad about not being able to take him while you were in college. That is a crazy time in most peoples life and you may not have been able to take care of him they way he needed to be either. Just remember that you and your wife gave him the love he needed at the time he needed it most. Cherish these last moments with him. We will be here for you at the end, and then at the beginning of your adventures with a new chow.

purple kisses from Chewie and Cayenne-

warm thoughts,
Mandy, Chewie, & Cayenne
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Post by Samorrathis »

The past is the past and there's nothing to change that now, don't beat yourself up! The important thing is that he can spend his last days with you in a loving hoem with a family that truely cares. Cheerish the days you have left with no regrets, and lots of love!
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Post by Roxana »

Bryan,
What a wonderful story, I'm so glad you found each other again. I would tell you to not feel guilty, but I know that is pointless. When we love someone or something so much, sometimes guilt is a part of it.

I have a blind 13.5 year old female and I know all about guilt, trust me.

I just wanted to say, don't give up on Kita quite yet. My girl went through a similar bout of not eating for a few weeks and I was sure her time was coming. But wouldn't you know it, she bounced back and is now doing fine again for awhile. Their resiliance and will to live is very strong, Kita might be with you for a while yet.

I cherish each and every day that I have with Dakota, never knowing how long we have left and thats what I suggest you do with Kita.

Take care and keep in touch with us.
Roxana & Dakota
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Post by kingalls »

As already said, the past is the past. You and your wife are truly wonderful to rescue him. At least in this final stretch he is with a family that loves him. He may not be feeling physcially well but I'm sure he has a happy heart.

Take care,
Karen, Kohana, Takoda, and our Chow Angels Nahkohe and Shiloh
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Post by Victory »

Don't blame yourself for the past, we all make mistakes. And that college/moving on with life and learning stage is hard on us and on any pets we had.

the important thing is that his last weeks have been filled with love, comfort and acceptance and that is very important. Be with him, let him know he is loved and his passing will be easier on you both.

:cry: Many of us have been where you are now and know the feelings, don't be afraid to come here and talk them out.
Victory, Darkwind, (our angel), Firesong, and Dreamdancer
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Post by ciaobella »

The great thing about animals is that they live in the "now"... be secure in the knowledge that bringing Kita into your home is giving him joy.

It's hard when your parents don't share the same philosophy about pets that you do, I've been through that myself. Try not to dwell on that too much. You're doing right by Kita now, and that's what counts.

There are many kind people here when you need to talk. Good luck to you, Bryan, and God bless.
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Post by chowfrnd88 »

What a touching story. As the others have said, don't be hard on yourself. Try to focus on the now, I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Think how lucky Kita is that he has during these tough times- all the love you and your wife and giving him. He knows he is loved and not alone and that is priceless. As the others have said, hang in there and you'll get lots of support here (I always do) it's a wonderful site.
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by kitadog »

More than six years have passed since I posted about my beloved Kita. He was such a sweet dog and I still miss him very much. Although we can add new loved ones to the family, they never replace the love ones lost. Here's a long overdue follow-up to my original post:

Kita passed from cancer shortly after I posted. I thought it would take a while to be ready for another dog but my wife and I found ourselves both looking sooner than expected, browsing the various rescue sites for chow chows in need of adoption. I came across a little girl chow chow named "Shadow Chaine" (strange name indeed) who needed a home and the picture of her cute little face really got to us both. She was small for a chow chow, but was a beautiful cream color. We decided to meet her, with and agreement that we would not rush to adopt if it didn't seem 100% right for both of us. She was in a foster home about an hour away so we drove up, "just to look." Well, you probably know how that goes. I bent down to pet her and she walked over, leaned in and gave me a very gently lick on the cheek. My wife and I looked at each other and we both knew, she was the right dog for us. She went home with us that night and we promptly renamed her "Sasha."

Sasha was not a young dog, in fact she was about 7-8 when we adopted her. The story goes, she had belonged to a homeless woman in the Los Angels area who reportedly brought Sasha in requesting that they put her down. The woman said she could no longer take care of the dog and just wanted her put to sleep. The shelter folks had her sign the dog over, then put out a urgent request for a foster home to take her in. Sasha was in pretty bad shape too. Fleas, infections, broken teeth... she had obviously been abused. But she was so sweet! Just the kindest and gentlest dog, she really appreciated the second chance at life. We took he with us traveling by car up and down the west coast and British Columbia. She really enjoyed snow! We spoiled her rotten and she deserved it! Everywhere we went people were drawn to her, and she loved everyone.

The problem with adopting older dogs is you don't necessarily have them as long. The bonus is fewer people want older dogs so we did Kita an honor but giving a second chance to Sasha. We loved her very much and she was with us through some very difficult times in our lives. In early 2011 Sasha gave in to old age, having been pampered for the better for the five years or so that we were together.

We decided to rescue another chow chow but thought this time we deserved to try a younger dog. My wife and I again looked online and checked with rescue organizations in California. I was in Los Angeles and decided to stop into one of the LA shelters where there were reportedly several chow chows that needed homes urgently. My wife was out of town, so I was sure I would not be taking any dog home with me but wanted go have a look. Don't get me started on the LA shelters, sad places indeed. Many of the "chow chows" looked like anything but, which was funny to me. I saw a photo of a dog online named "Oso," and he intrigued me but I had a hard time finding him in the shelter. I asked for help and a very nice woman looked him up in the computer, and told me he was in isolation. I asked why and she said he had been there a long time and they didn't think he would be adoptable (i.e. he was on doggie death row). I told her I wanted to see him and she led me back and "Oso" was so scared he hid in a corner. I asked if she could let me pet him and she was concerned he might be a biter. I convinced her to try, and she opened the door and the dog ran into a wall to get away, andpooped he was so scared. She managed to get a leash on him, carefully, and led him to a side room where some bales of hay were stored, and I bent down to see how this dog would react. It wasn't two minutes before he walked over and sat down, back against me, as if he wanted me to protect him.

As I said, I was not going to take a dog home without my wife meeting him first so I had the lady take a picture of us, which she did. I thanked her, said goodbye to "Oso," and left. I texted the photo to my wife, telling her I met a dog and it looked like part chow, part something else (wasn't sure). My wife immediately called me and said, based upon the photo, we had to get this dog. I went back and filled out the papers but had to wait until he was neutered to take him home.

Long story short, "Oso" went through a number of name changes. We thought he was going to be a timid guy... nope! We got him home, he came out of she shell and we were surprised at the dog we ended up with! He was less than a year old, so still going through the puppy phase. We named him "Loki," after the Norse god of mischief! The first day we had him home we went on a walk, he stuck his head in a bush and snorted a foxtail up his nose! An emergency vet visit and $500 later we realized this dog was going to keep us on our toes!

Loki has been with us about 1 1/2 years now, after being found running loose in Los Angles. He looked horrible when we got him and had a skin infection that was pretty bad. We decided to do a doggie DNA test to see what he was mixed with... turns out he's a purebred chow, but apparently a smooth coat!

We love Loki to death. He's a goofball; loves cats, dogs, people and especially children; and like Sasha Loki goes most places with us. His behavior and obedience has gotten much better and he is such love bug. Loki reminds me a lot of Kita at times. He still likes to be right up against us and lives to be hugged and kissed. I often think he is more of a mommy's boy now, but in reality I think he loves my wife and I equally.

Dogs bring so much joy to our lives, but rescue dogs make it all the better!

Hope all is well with you all, Happy Holidays!

Bryan
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by kitadog »

Loki, at the shelter and sometime later, at his favorite beach!
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by kitadog »

Sasha, in California and Victoria, BC.
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by kitadog »

Old man Kita, with his hair still short from the haircut.
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by Ursa's daddy »

Wow....
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by chowpups »

Bryan , you and your wife did a wonderful job rescuing and giving the gift of a good life to all your chows, I cried and then smiled at your stories, some parts are familiar to me ( losing a chow from cancer) and other parts make me realize how much I miss a chow! Their bond is so different than any other breed if you as me ( or any one else who is on this site).
Great job !!!!
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by Cocoa »

I'll second Ursa's daddy, wow what a wonderful story. =D= =D= =D=
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by Fozzbear »

Felt sad reading about Kita - so glad you have rescued and loved your chows.
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by Judy Fox »

Wonderful, just wonderful.
As I said back in 2006 - Kita new you loved him at the end and he went off to The Happy Hunting Ground knowing that. :D Job well done!
The others - what love and happiness you have given.
I salute you both . =D= =D=
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by Ingen »

I gave my Feichow a good tummy rub after reading your story and she responded by closing her eyes and stretch her body lol.
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Re: Losing a Friend

Post by gebower »

We had a chow named Chevy and at 11 1/2 years old he started having seizures. That's something you never want to see. He also got partially paralyed in his hindquarters. His seizures became more frequent and two vets said he has a brain tumor. We had to put him down to end his suffering. Luckily, I was wearing shades when I left the vet's office because I was crying. The day we had him put down, I bawled my eyes out all day long. I loved him very much, he was my buddy. It's one of the hardest decisions I ever made. But, I couldn't stand to see him suffer like that.

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