Furkids Abused at Fort Piney Woods

[jerryo]

Hi everyone, this is Lady .

I'm sad to report that our biped, JerryO, seems to have developed a mean streak, and we are wondering if he should be put down before it gets worse. Let me explain:

Yesterday as Benny and I were keeping watch, (aka,sleeping on the back porch) our housemate, BobbyCat, came home carrying/dragging a fine looking young Jack Rabbit almost as big as he was. He even managed to get it up on the porch and laid it by the door in front of us. Of course, we immediately got up to examine the bunny and congratulate BobbyCat on his prowness as a hunter, and thank him for his generousity as a friend. After all, he could have just enjoyed the rabbit in the woods, all by himself. But BobbyCat has turned out to be a fine guy, so it's a good thing Steel wouldn't let me eat him, like I originally wanted to when he first moved in here.

Anyway, just as Benny and I were getting all set for a buffet of fresh caught bunny, our stupid biped, JerryO, showed up. Benny was checking out the bunny's haunch, looking for the tenderest place to start, when JerryO noticed that, not only was the jackie still alive, it wasn't even leaking. It was just out cold! That BobbyCat is GOOD!

That, unfortunately is when things went terribly wrong. JerryO made us all come inside, and we all had to watch helplessly through the glass door while jackie woke up, caught his breath and hopped off into the hedgerow UNEATEN. The horror of seeing a buffet of fresh caught bunny disappearing into the brush, after you have been looking at it a few inches away through a glass door for a half hour or so, is something I hope none of you ever has to experience!!

I know bipeds a just dumb animals, but did JerryO somehow think that giving us extra treats could actually make up for that kind of treatment! Of course we ate them anyway, but that's not the point.

Have we somehow failed in our biped training? Do we have to get rid of JerryO? Or was it maybe just a fluke?

Lady
Benny
BobbyCat

[fillyok]

JerryO = snacks, so you better keep him around. Tod wants to know if Bobbycat is any good at hunting snakes??

[Zhuyos mom]

.... Have we somehow failed in our biped training? Do we have to get rid of JerryO? Or was it maybe just a fluke? ...

Oh Hi, Lady!

It is me, Miss Pooh Bear!

What can I say? How is your weather down there? Has it been quite hot? Maybe your biped is experiencing a bit of the "vapors". I hear it happens from time to time to male bipeds in the Fort Piney Woods area. If that is the case, dear Lady, it is not necessary to have your "JerryO" put down. NILF so you just have to keep training him, just forge on! However, do give him a warning! It will work. I had to do that with my biped a couple of years ago when I caught an "oh possum". It was an offering for my suiter, Pepper - the miniture poodle, next door. And when Pepper's daddy came over, I thought he was going to take my "oh possum" home to my suiter, but NO! He threw my "oh possum" over to the gully! It too woke up and scurried away. Such a waste! You know, bipeds are quite wasteful when it comes to exotic meats. BTW, If you do a search on this site using the keyword "DH", you will see many posts about the male "vapors". Might be a good idea to do a little research before you start re-training on JerryO. If you like, bring him up to us on the 20th of this month, us Northern California chows are conducting an all day biped reprogramming that day. Food and beverage is included! Bring him up!!!

Please say hello to you handsome brother, Benny, for me, okay? "Oh Hi, Benny! "

Hugs and kisses,
Miss Pooh Bear

[jerryo]

Benny here

Thank you for your advice and encouragement, Beloved Miss Pooh Bear . Unfortunately we won't be able to make it to the biped reprograming day this time. We are sending JerryO off to Boy Scout Camp with his biped pack that week, so he won't be available for training. I hope you are not too serious about that poodle . There is nothing sadder than a Chowboy with a broken heart

Hey Tod, I don't know much about BobbyCat's snake hunting skills. I know that before he moved into the house with us, he was living under the house with our Copperheads, so he probably has at least a working knowledge of snakes. JerryO is pretty firm in his policy of "We didn't lose any snakes, so don't go looking for any snakes!"

[Layla]

Millie here, we suggest you adopt a strict programme with Jerro. We make Mama go mental by not eating from our bowl if she puts new things in it, only eating the bits we want to, when we want to & waking her up in the middle of the night to make sure she's tired & therefore easier to control. We can send you our training manual if that would help????

[jerryo]

Thanks, Millie. The "not gonna eat that stuff" is a good trick. I used it alot on JerryO when I first got him, just to make sure he understood his duties as my butler. At one point I even had him hand-feeding me from a SPOON! It was funny to watch, but I got bored with it after awhile, and it was a lot of trouble. Also, Pooh Bear's mom and Lily's mom told him about putting parmesan cheese on the food, so that pretty much ended the game. It was fun for awhile, though.

All that was before Lady moved in with us, and since she eats anything, anytime, anywhere, food strikes don't really work anymore. Benny

Hey, I'm just an active girl with a high metabolism, Fur-ball!
And at least it doesn't all go to my waist, unlike some others around here. Lady

[chris]

Thank you Lady for the report.
I will send a message via GSD to Bobby Cat. I would like him on special assignment to teach you and Benny on Copper head control. Then next time Bobby Cat goes on the prowl high tail it under the porch... Bipeds usualy will not intangle them selves with Copper heads and you will be safe and so will your catch of the day. Remind Bobby cat to catch a smaller portion of pray for the Copper heads.. they will be more appreciative.
Please report back.


Over and Out

Steel

SEMPER CHOW!

[Judy Fox]

Oh! Oh! Hello Benny! This is Milly and Mabel. Bob Cat was a clever cat catching the Bunny Rabbit but we are just afraid that you have to accept that our people do not like catching things.

They go ape-$***!!

Our Daddy does - our Harry has been in trouble again the day before yesterday and our Daddy went ape-$*** again and our Mummy had the Hell's own job to calm him down. He said that Harry was going - again! But we love our Harry and we have tried to explain to him about our Daddy getting cross about him catching birds.

But he just does it sometimes.

The thing is, we have just got to handle it and understand it. Our Daddy goes deaf and we are afraid that we are just not able to re-programme him.

Tell Bob cat he is just a clever cat and our regards to Lady.

[Auddymay]

Hiya Lady. Lily here. Mum briefed me on the whole sordid affair with this rabbit named Jack. First off, do not name the prey animals! We just call them all buns- as in hot-crossed...Second, much as I believe cats were made to be eaten, I have to give them their due when it comes to hunting. Empress Kitsy Wu is always leaving be-headed delicacies laying about at the old bi-peds house they call gramma n grampa. But BunBuns! Oh, to see that! (Not the disgusting, born free part; the part where you were going to eat him!)

And to Jerryo...good lord, man! What were you thinking! In the south, I believe they call enemy sympathizers 'turncoats'. But the furkids need you, so no chowourt martial...this time!