I can't do this!!

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:49 am

I've never had a chow situation that I couldn't handle but this is to much! Maybe it is due to my delicate state both physically and emotionally but I just can't take it anymore! These boys fight everyday!! The new one such a sweet guy but it is causing so much stress in my home, not just to me and my fiancée but to my other chows. Zahra always tries to defend MiMiBear and poor Sierra runs and hides....

I feel so defeated and exhausted

What now...

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wokman · Post by **wokman** » Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:48 am

Some things were not meant to be. Please try to find a sympathetic Rescue to end the misery you, your fiancee' and the other three Chows are experiencing. I think your MiMiBear may see the new Chow as an extra burden on you and wants the poor thing out. I feel sorry for the new Chow they are a victim of circumstance, but all this stress will not help your condition. You will be doing all a favor by rehoming the new one, before something really tragic happens.
Try RescueMe, you can refuse to adopt to people that you yourself cannot meet. I know from your other Post that this was a burden that was not your problem. You were right to take the Chow since they might have ended up in an Animal Control and meet a lost street dogs fate.

Rory's Dad · Post by **Rory's Dad** » Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:31 pm

Chowmamma, i know you situation from other posts. Wokman might be right that the pups are sensing a vulnerability with you and taking advantage.

I am real particular with my dogs, and am kind of at odds with others on the site as far as rescue goes. Not in theory, i applaud their efforts, but i am wary of the odds of successfully converting a chow that has been subject to abuse.

i know your situation is different. we currently have a 14 month old male, who is very sweet. i have seen the photos of you with your dogs. if you think there is a way we could help out, send me an email. even if it is for a temporary repreive, it might be do-able. we have the room and the yard space, have had 2 males in the past.

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:38 pm

I just want it to work sooooooo bad, have now segregated them with baby gates and crating new boy (Bam Bam) when we leave and at night

He is such a sweet sweet boy....and I agree MiMiBear is very very in tune with my emotions, he is my first chow to ever be able to sense everything I feel and he even comforts me, so so sweet....I hate that he feels so threatened and I just want the best and don't wanna give up so easy

I know my health plays a huge part in this

I worry that Bam Bam will be so emotionally damaged if I give up....arrrgh hate feeling so confused

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:41 pm

You mean kind of a Foster situation?
Wow wouldn't it be cool if we all could babysit for each other, kind of like sending our kids to camp lol

TyChowgirl · Post by **TyChowgirl** » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:22 am

I wish I could take him off your hands for a bit, but I also have a male and two cats. I'm not sure how well that would work out either and I'd hate to have to crate him while I'm away all day. It's not fair to the dog...I wish you the best of luck.

chowchowdaddy · Post by **chowchowdaddy** » Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:53 am

Truly, I wish I had something to add, but I don't. But, for what it's worth, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Bam Bam. Sometimes, it's best to let go for the sake of everyone involved. If there is an alternative for Bam Bam (and, while I have a 10 year old male who would probably think I'm trying to replace him or I'd jump at the opportunity), I'd go for whatever is best for everyone involved. You have done a fabulous job of keeping him from being discarded, let's see what options come up...

612guy · Post by **612guy** » Mon Oct 29, 2012 3:35 pm

Good luck
612

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 12:19 am

Gasp, yes your right, I won't do that....I have been segregating them with a baby gate.....they have argued through the gate but once I told them no they stopped, so maybe just maybe I can get my point across by controlling the arguments through the gate it will teach them that I don't like the fighting

Or maybe I am in a dream world lol

But I think if I can get point across even through the gate....whatcha think?

Fozzbear · Post by **Fozzbear** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:35 am

I think that if Rory's Dad or another good home is available, you owe it to your dogs to let Bam Bam go. It seems an awful lot of stress in one house - for all of you - and Bam Bam needs stability, peace and a permanent home asap from what you have said about his background. I think that you are doing the best and most sensible thing by using baby gates as a temporary solution but where do you go from there? It is sad, but sometimes you just have to let go for the good of the animals.

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:03 am

And I worry about his emotions through this, he's been through so much already

I for the most part have made this a very calm patient place to be....he has been keeping his tail up more and actually wags it at me now...he is discovering how good head scratches are and has even been letting me hug him

As for MiMiBear he been getting extra hugs too

When they meet at gate nicely they both get gushed over with praise

I hope it will show them its OK and no need for fights

Ursa's daddy · Post by **Ursa's daddy** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:26 am

I think the baby gates are a good idea. I feel that the main issue is keeping them separated for some time while they adjust. They will adjust, but it will take time.

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:11 pm

They have "argued" twice through gate and as soon as I tell them no, it stops....their outside play area is flooded so I've had to leash them to go out....so they have only been outside together a few times since gates and I've petted them side by side telling them both how good they are

Baby steps, I hope.....

Chowmomma · Post by **Chowmomma** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:31 pm

How can I give up on this face?

Rory's Dad · Post by **Rory's Dad** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:10 pm

Good to hear about the tail up. Definitely a positive sign. Problem is they are still trying to figure out who is number 1. The gating will help to minimize the arguments, and in the right situation could reinforce that you are in charge.

That's where it gets complicated. You have one dog that views himself as your emotional support system. If he recognizes the new pup in a similar role, he has now shifted into a protector role as well. Not to get all dog psychology and all, but i think he is confused. Wants to be supportive, recognizes another supportive dog, but needs to protect both you and his position in the group.

No quick, instant fix, but it could be done. I would continue on the separation and gating routine. But even more so, separation needs to be more defined. I would make sure that affection, reward, and training are separated and outside of the other dogs view. Feeding at the same time on separate sides of the gate, but in view. Walking and outside duties, at the same time but separate leads if you can manage its (no lead joiners, let them head off 2 -5 feet in different directions.

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:34 pm

Shock collars? Really? Please out of all the advice you have been given do not even consider that one. You know what happens when two dogs are fighting and out of their heads in the moment and you shock them aka hurt them? They think the other dog caused the pain and fight harder!!!! I yi yi. Shock collars have no place in the world except maybe to be used on animal or child abusers.
My suggestion as one who had two males in the past that fought is keep them separated until you can find a proper home for one of them. You are being bitten, the chows are stressed and it is only a matter of time until one or both is seriously injured. This situation isn't fair to anyone and sometimes tough decisions have to be made for the good of everyone involved in the long term. I am sorry that you are in this situation when you were only trying to do something good. I wish you well and hope you will keep them separated at all times while weighing your options.

Post by **Auddymay** » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:22 pm

Adding number 4 may have put you over by 1. I have 3 in my house, 2 Chows and an aged Australian Cattle dog, Montana. Dillon, the newest one (damaged adult young male) will for some reason try and dominate the old female ACD. She is not aggressive at all and Dillon is actually #2 under Lily. He bite Montana once but good, so in all instances I am either monitoring him around her, or separating them when I leave. I cannot imagine trying to manage 4 while also going through what you are right now. Even though it may feel like a failure to you, finding a home where BamBam is an only or a second with a female might be the best solution for all. Until that day, keeping the males separated at all costs is your best solution. Whatever you decide, try and remain calm, even if circumstances make you want to scream. Best of luck.

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