In a Purple Fog

[reddog]

I feel like I'm in a purple fog today. I really had a hard time keeping the tears at bay while I was at work. It was a year ago today, Jan. 26, 2011 that I had to have my beautiful red 15 yr. old Chloe put to sleep. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's hard to put into words the feelings that are in my heart. She was so much a part of me and my life. She had been abused and abandoned prior to me rescuing her from our local humane society when she was 2 yrs. old. I may have rescued her but she also rescued me (from loneliness and depression). I had lost my husband of 26 years and my daughter was going off to college. The two of us made a good team.

Chloe was diagnosed with cancer in her right rear leg three years prior to her death. She was 12. The vet wanted to put her under anesthesia to remove the tumor. Knowing that anesthesia at that age is risky I opted not to go that route and let nature take its course. The year before Chloe passed away she went deaf and then dementia set it. There were times I laughed and times I cried. Towards the end of the year she started having trouble doing the stairs. The cancer had taken over the muscle in her right hind leg and her hind quarters were growing weak and giving out. I asked God to give me a sign when it was time to make the heart-wrenching decision.

Chloe always got un-nerved going to the vet. I called the vet and made special arrangements for her to come to my home. A week after Chloe's 15th birthday I took her for one last special walk and then gave her one of her favorite treats. I asked Chloe to lie down on her quilt and she complied. I stroked her and spoke softly, pouring out my deep, heart-felt feelings and told her we'll be together again someday. My last words to her were "I love you, be free!" She went to sleep and a peaceful look came over her face. She looked young again.

I know in my heart she is better off. The tears still come like waves now and then when I think of her. Thank goodness for the memory box in my mind and the pictures I have of her!

Chloe, I Love you and miss you so-o-o much!
Love Always
Mom

[chowpups]

I understand your fog feeling. I too still find myself missing Nikki so much. It's only been 3 months ...
Hope you feel okay..

[cherriemater]

Pam ... oh ... >>sigh<<

Hugs to you!! And double purple kisses to chase away the fog.

Marti, Joe, Leo and Max

[reddog]

Dear Chowpups (Nancy) and Cherriemater (Marti),

Thank you so much for your thoughts. It was just one of those days and I was really missing Chloe. The purple fog has lifted some and Whitby helps to fill the void left by my beloved Chloe.

Marti please give Leo and Max a hug from me and tell them I said thank you for the purple kisses.

Take Care
Think Spring
Pam

[cherriemater]

Marti please give Leo and Max a hug from me and tell them I said thank you for the purple kisses.

I'll have to wait 'til they're done snoring ... but you GOT it!!!