When will the hurt go away!
Moderator: chowadmin
Re: When will the hurt go away!
Thanks all for taking time to think of us. I have built a shrine to albertz keeping him in house for time being not ready to bury him outside.
Things are a bit easier since have let go of guilt but still cant be bothered with things and body aches. Think all the stress of the last few months is coming through. On positive side dont cry every day anymore, some days are bad days when the tears just come but on other days get through without tears. Still really miss him though.
Marti to see your beautiful new babies made me smile, they are so cute. Enjoy them.
take care everyone and speak soon.
Karen mum to Albertz till 1/11/11
Things are a bit easier since have let go of guilt but still cant be bothered with things and body aches. Think all the stress of the last few months is coming through. On positive side dont cry every day anymore, some days are bad days when the tears just come but on other days get through without tears. Still really miss him though.
Marti to see your beautiful new babies made me smile, they are so cute. Enjoy them.
take care everyone and speak soon.
Karen mum to Albertz till 1/11/11
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lovechows55
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- Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:49 pm
- Location: Fullerton, CA
Re: When will the hurt go away!
So glad to hear it's getting a little easier for you and that the shrine idea has helped. For me, it's comforting to have Chelsea in my bedroom, even though she's no longer in her "earth suit" (as my husband calls it).
It truly does just take time for the worst of the grief work to pass. Take care of yourself and try to find special things to do for yourself, especially on holidays and special days for you and Albertz (e.g., his birthday). I don't think we'll ever stop missing our chow babies but it gets a little easier each day, each week, and each month. The first year is the hardest, especially her first birthday, the first day I brought her home (as a 5 week old puppy), and the first Christmas. Planning to do something special for each of those days really helped take my mind off how much it hurt to lose her. After the first time through, it definitely gets much easier to cope with it. And the websites help. Petloss is a very emotional site so I used it but could only be on it for short periods. Writing her tribute was very emotional but it's there and her story is on it with everyone else's. Same thing with the memorial section on this site. But, do those things when you're ready and when it's too much emotionally, turn the computer off.
And, when you're ready to bring another chow into your life, that's a great way to find resolution. I'd like to have another chow in my life but it hasn't worked out yet. We wanted to wait at least a year after we lost our Chelsea and then it was very difficult to find one and then we rescued a rabbit (who I think was sent to us from Chelsea--he acts a lot like her and came to us right after a chow puppy we were going to adopt died). Now having a bunny has complicated things because chows like to chase them so we haven't worked that out yet. Still hope to someday have another chowlet but for now, the bunny runs our home (Chelsea's got to be laughing her little paws off at that one).
It truly does just take time for the worst of the grief work to pass. Take care of yourself and try to find special things to do for yourself, especially on holidays and special days for you and Albertz (e.g., his birthday). I don't think we'll ever stop missing our chow babies but it gets a little easier each day, each week, and each month. The first year is the hardest, especially her first birthday, the first day I brought her home (as a 5 week old puppy), and the first Christmas. Planning to do something special for each of those days really helped take my mind off how much it hurt to lose her. After the first time through, it definitely gets much easier to cope with it. And the websites help. Petloss is a very emotional site so I used it but could only be on it for short periods. Writing her tribute was very emotional but it's there and her story is on it with everyone else's. Same thing with the memorial section on this site. But, do those things when you're ready and when it's too much emotionally, turn the computer off.
And, when you're ready to bring another chow into your life, that's a great way to find resolution. I'd like to have another chow in my life but it hasn't worked out yet. We wanted to wait at least a year after we lost our Chelsea and then it was very difficult to find one and then we rescued a rabbit (who I think was sent to us from Chelsea--he acts a lot like her and came to us right after a chow puppy we were going to adopt died). Now having a bunny has complicated things because chows like to chase them so we haven't worked that out yet. Still hope to someday have another chowlet but for now, the bunny runs our home (Chelsea's got to be laughing her little paws off at that one).
Re: When will the hurt go away!
lovechows55 - its possible that a chow puppy raised with the bunny wounldn't chase it kind of like chows that are raised with cats dont chase them. Just a thought.
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Re: When will the hurt go away!
lovechows55 wrote:So glad to hear it's getting a little easier for you and that the shrine idea has helped. For me, it's comforting to have Chelsea in my bedroom, even though she's no longer in her "earth suit" (as my husband calls it).
It truly does just take time for the worst of the grief work to pass. Take care of yourself and try to find special things to do for yourself, especially on holidays and special days for you and Albertz (e.g., his birthday). I don't think we'll ever stop missing our chow babies but it gets a little easier each day, each week, and each month. The first year is the hardest, especially her first birthday, the first day I brought her home (as a 5 week old puppy), and the first Christmas. Planning to do something special for each of those days really helped take my mind off how much it hurt to lose her. After the first time through, it definitely gets much easier to cope with it. And the websites help. Petloss is a very emotional site so I used it but could only be on it for short periods. Writing her tribute was very emotional but it's there and her story is on it with everyone else's. Same thing with the memorial section on this site. But, do those things when you're ready and when it's too much emotionally, turn the computer off.
And, when you're ready to bring another chow into your life, that's a great way to find resolution. I'd like to have another chow in my life but it hasn't worked out yet. We wanted to wait at least a year after we lost our Chelsea and then it was very difficult to find one and then we rescued a rabbit (who I think was sent to us from Chelsea--he acts a lot like her and came to us right after a chow puppy we were going to adopt died). Now having a bunny has complicated things because chows like to chase them so we haven't worked that out yet. Still hope to someday have another chowlet but for now, the bunny runs our home (Chelsea's got to be laughing her little paws off at that one).
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Re: When will the hurt go away!
Redalbi-
Not much can be said that hasn't already affectionately been said.
If you refer to "RIP Butter" in this forum, you will see that like so many of the wonderful humans of Chow Chows here on this wonderful site, I too understand how you feel, and the difficulties associated dealing with this traumatic event.
Some things will always remind you of Albertz.
-A specific sound or smell- or lack of.
-A cold nose on your cheek (sniff-sniff).
-A piece of furniture.
-The now sadly vacant spot where he used to lay that somehow still feels warm.
-The empty spot in the kitchen where he kept his food bowl (took me almost two months to pick it up).
-One of his toys.
-An act or routine usually done by both of you, now minus one (this one is difficult for me).
-In my case, one of my fire boots. Butter would NEVER chew it, but he liked to carry it around. Heck, even the only very specific spot way in the back yard where he pooped is now memorable, oddly enough.
Point is you will remember him. This is good! His memory cannot die.
I've come to discover that we are in good hands with this site. The folks I've spoken to here are amazing, because they know. They know the joy of being owned by a Chow Chow. Anyone can have a dog. Not everyone can be owned by a Chow Chow. It's uniqueness is specific, and is shared only by a select few. I am honored to be part of that select few, like the folks here.
I just realized how old this post is. Please forgive my tardiness and accept my condolences. I hope my words bring some comfort to you, as have the words of this amazing group brought to me.
Not much can be said that hasn't already affectionately been said.
If you refer to "RIP Butter" in this forum, you will see that like so many of the wonderful humans of Chow Chows here on this wonderful site, I too understand how you feel, and the difficulties associated dealing with this traumatic event.
Some things will always remind you of Albertz.
-A specific sound or smell- or lack of.
-A cold nose on your cheek (sniff-sniff).
-A piece of furniture.
-The now sadly vacant spot where he used to lay that somehow still feels warm.
-The empty spot in the kitchen where he kept his food bowl (took me almost two months to pick it up).
-One of his toys.
-An act or routine usually done by both of you, now minus one (this one is difficult for me).
-In my case, one of my fire boots. Butter would NEVER chew it, but he liked to carry it around. Heck, even the only very specific spot way in the back yard where he pooped is now memorable, oddly enough.
Point is you will remember him. This is good! His memory cannot die.
I've come to discover that we are in good hands with this site. The folks I've spoken to here are amazing, because they know. They know the joy of being owned by a Chow Chow. Anyone can have a dog. Not everyone can be owned by a Chow Chow. It's uniqueness is specific, and is shared only by a select few. I am honored to be part of that select few, like the folks here.
I just realized how old this post is. Please forgive my tardiness and accept my condolences. I hope my words bring some comfort to you, as have the words of this amazing group brought to me.
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lovechows55
- Rank 0
- Posts: 56
- Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:49 pm
- Location: Fullerton, CA
Re: When will the hurt go away!
That was so eloquently stated! Well put--we are the fortunate few to have been loved and owned by our beloved chows. It does forever tug at the depths of your soul to have lost that deep connection. It was four years and four days ago that I had to let my little Chelsea go to Rainbow Bridge and it still hurts so much. Not every day and the good memories make it easier to remember her now than the despair over her loss did at first. But it took me a year to go into the kitchen again (except very briefly)--because that's where I made her food and where she ate. It's been four years and I seldom cook in there because every time I'm in the kitchen, I picture her standing next to me waiting patiently for her food (or some of mine).
Most of the time I can think of her now and it doesn't it rock me to the core like it did the first year. But I still haven't been able to bring another dog into my life because I miss her so much and today (my birthday), I miss her like crazy. There will always be good days and bad days. As time passes, the good days will outnumber the bad ones. But there will always be places that will remind us of our departed chow babies.
Whenever you're missing yours, you can always come here for support.
Most of the time I can think of her now and it doesn't it rock me to the core like it did the first year. But I still haven't been able to bring another dog into my life because I miss her so much and today (my birthday), I miss her like crazy. There will always be good days and bad days. As time passes, the good days will outnumber the bad ones. But there will always be places that will remind us of our departed chow babies.
Whenever you're missing yours, you can always come here for support.