Terrible News, Onyx passed away tonight

[chowfrnd88]

Jeff, don't even think about that. You know that bloat is a mystery, you posted yourself a few posts ago in this very thread that even your vet wasn't able to give you answers. It's sudden and horrible and you can do everything right and there's no way to know. We take all the precautions we can, but there's only so much you can do, it's one of prices we pay for loving this amazing breed. Hang in there.

[Chloe's Mom]

Words cannot convey how sorry I am for your loss. I do agree with all of the other responders though, Onyx was able to know what a good life is because
of you and your family. You rescued her from cages and being PTS. The frightened chow you brought home was able to experience the joy of zoomies and having all sorts of people want to give her love. That's so much more than she had before. You're all in my thoughts.

[CoraP.]

Ah, I was afraid the nasty guilt feeling would rear its ugly head. Try not to let it get you, Jeff. Our first baby was stillborn and I felt a lot of guilt because he stopped moving 2 weeks before he was born and I never told the doctor. I kept telling myself they slow down a lot near the end of the pregnancy, etc. I blamed myself for a long time. Finally I said to myself look, if feeling guilty served some purpose, if it would bring him back, it would be worth it. Since it didn't,I decided it just wasn't worth it and I finally quit blaming myself. I hope you don't do that to yourself. We just don't know why these things happen and we never will. When I got Bear's ashes back, this poem was enclosed:
"Farewell, Master, yet not farewell.
Where I go ye too shall dwell.
I am gone, before your face,
A moment's time, a little space.
When ye come where I have stepped
Ye will wonder why ye wept."
After Death by Edwin Arnold

[Sojourner11]

It never gets any easier to hear that one has passed away, especially one that made it out of the system, only to fall to bloat. Either way you gave her the only real life she ever knew, and probably the only love she ever knew as well. I am sorry for Connor as well, it is a tough lesson to learn so young.

[SWANCIN]

Dear Jeff and Connor,

Please accept our deepest and heartfelt sympathy for Onyx's passing. We will never forget her and all that you did for her...

Healing thoughts,
Cindy & Kodi

[Jeff&Peks]

"Besides bloat, what else could have cause Onyx's demise? "

It was definantly bloat, when I went out to look at her I could tell from across the yard it was bloat her stomach had tripled in size she was whining and trying to throw up in a panic state walking in circles, it was really bad in the car on the way to emergency then at the vets I saw the x-rays her stomach had twisted and what ever a spleen is the vet said it was destroyed and would have to be removed... The guilty part is, I had to make the decision to put her down, When the vet first called me in to talk to me he said it was real bad, her heart rate was flat lined and she barely had any blood pressure she was basically dead I said do what ever you can so after about an hour the vet called me in and said come look at this, she had a steady heart beat and her blood pressure came back up they had stabilized her, there was 5 people standing around her with tubes and meters. Then the vet says the only way they could tell if there was any more damage was to do surgery but he thought there would probably be more damage so it was surgery then wait 3 to 8 weeks to see if she lived or not plus she could have brain damage, the question was did I want to spend 5 to 6 thousand that night plus another 2 to 4 thousand plus dollars for 3 weeks or possibly up to eight weeks of hospital care but he didn't know if she would live or have a quality life even after surgery. I called like 20 people asking them what I should do and they all said if the vet couldn't tell me if she would live or have a quality life then just to put her down, if one person would have said do the surgery I would have but they all agreed put her down so after 2 hours of me changing my mind a hundred times I finely said to euthanize her. Now I think did I make the wrong decision could she have been ok if I said to go ahead and do the surgery, no one will ever know.

It wasn't question of money all I wanted to know was would she have a good life after or even live, no one in the hospital would give me an answer. I told myself long ago I never wanted to be put in that position with Pekoe so now I get put in the position with Onyx, life or death.

[janet]

jeff, please dont be so hard on yourself. i know i would be feeeling the same way you are right now, so easier said than done.
you didnt have any other choice to make. period. would you want to see onyx with a poor life quality after she had made it from hell and back??? we both know the answer to that.
sorry to be so blunt. you DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR ONYX. i know when it comes to the chow money is no object with you that goes unsaid. sadly, sometimes whatever will be will be.
please know that you and conner and your family will be in our prayers forever.
how is ms pekoe????

[TJordan]

Jeff you shouldn't feel guilty. You had to make a decision. You knew her better than anyone. You knew what quality of life you wanted her to have and you didn't want her to suffer.

[CoraP.]

I still think you did what was best for Onyx. Bloat is a terrible thing, and it sounds like she had a fatal case. If her spleen was so damaged, it makes me think other organs may have been too. Don't beat yourself up over it. She most likely would never have been the same, and you may have had to put her to sleep after more suffering on her (and your) part. She is at peace, and knows you love her and did what was best.

[Judy Fox]

I am so sorry Jeff - that is so very, very sad but as has already been said, she did have happiness, albeit a short time when she lived with you.

"Say not in grief she is not more,
but in thankfulness she was."

And most especially, be thankful that you gave her the weeks of happiness you did.

Bless you for taking her in and showing her the love, care and respect she was entitled to.

[ciaobella]

Oh, sweetie... I just saw this, what rotten, rotten luck. I am so sorry.
Jeff, I don't believe dogs or chows really perceive time the way we do. They live for the moment. You and Connor gave her a series of great moments that added up to a lifetime, I really feel that that is true. Don't ever berate yourself for taking her in or think you were the cause of her illness. It was just rotten bad luck. You did a very good thing, bringing her into your home and heart.

If you felt that the only thing to do was put her down, don't second guess yourself... we have these instincts for a reason. You gave her that last act of kindness and it was the right thing to do, don't doubt it. I know that was hard for you.

Give Connor a big hug from us, you are both in our thoughts and prayers.

[chowchowdaddy]

Jeff, I know I mentioned this in a PM, but I felt it important to reiterate what so many others have said...

You have given Onyx the best time of her life. Yes, unfortunately, that life was way too short, but you enabled her to be happy and loved and wanted, something that she'd never experienced before. She was blessed, as were you, by fun and love and family. If we all experience that in our lives, what more could we ask for?

Do no ever berate yourself for what "might have been" as none of us has any true insight into the future or the ability to change what will be...

[Sharons Chows]

Dear Jeff,

It was only a short time ago that I pm'd you about Onyx...having missed her story with my own stuff going on.
When you told me her story I thought that you were so wonderful and unselfish in giving her a new life...and that is what you still are.
You gave a beautiful little girl who had no chance at any LIFE, HAPPINESS and LOVE. However, short her time was with you and yours...it was finally her time and whether that be a few moments or a lifetime...it is a time that belonged to her.
My heart breaks for all of you...but you did your very best and made all of the right decisions.
Onyx will now run free with all of lovely Chows that live over the Rainbow Bridge

Sharon, JR and Cheyenne

[Jeff&Peks]

Thanks all, I got a couple of Pm's from people that have been through it and some made the decision to have the surgery done they Pretty much confirmed I made the right dicision. This was just my first time dealing with the death of anything And you all know my black and white world, Onyx was a gray area so I wasn't use to that.

[Ginger Bears Mom]

Jeff,
We are so sorry to hear about Onyx. Please do not berate yourself, nothing you did caused this dreadful condition. It is the most ungodly thing in the world to witness, everything you have posted rang true for my husband and I. We both cried for her, yourself and your family, particularly little Connor.

DH is still bawling over your loss, you see he is the one that fed our Ginger Bear the morning she was struck with bloat and he still wonders what he did wrong, that was 8 months ago.

We too called everyone we knew, and some we didn't know, heck I called A&M College station Vet school, Gingers age 14 years, the ravaging affects that occurs to other organs in such a short period of time is the unknown factor. We were told by Vets who have seen very young very healthy animals not recover from the surgery, because of the damage.

Know you did the right thing for her, the likelihood is that she would not have had any quality of life had you gone through with the surgery. Take comfort that she loved you, your family, and yes probably even Peks.

You gave her the best time of her life, she was able to gain a since of pride, which she had never known, which is so very important and so much of a Chows complexity. Had you not crossed her path this never would have happened for her.

Know that one day when your time has come and you yourself cross the bridge, you each will see each other off in the distance, both of you stop and look closely to see if who it is. Your recognize each other and you each run to each other, joined again as it should be.

Yours was not an easy decision to make, I know as I realized what GB was suffering from, it was I that had to point us in the right direction and do the right thing for her.

All of you are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.
Please go easy on yourself, you are not to blame.
Betty

[shandilady]

Jeff and Conner,

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. I don't post often so you probably don't know me. I work at a vet's and I believe you did what was best for Onyx. I am so sorry , please know you did what you had to even though it was so hard.
Hug Peks extra is my only suggestion to help with the pain.

Robin and Shandi & gang.

[pfordeb]

I am so sorry. What a terrible loss. I can only agree with what everyone else has said about doing everything you could to help her. I'm glad others shared their stories with you about their experiences with dogs/chows and bloat and hope that helped ease your mind. I never knew about that surgery to tie the stomach and appreciate the advice.

Since I just went through the cremation process, if California is anything like Ohio in cremation laws, you can be assured she will be cremated by herself. We got many signatures on many certificates verifying process. I guess there can't be real proof, but I felt better seeing all that information.

[mrstu]

Jeff, I am so sorry to hear about Onyx. The one blessing in all of this is that she had you, Peks and the family to love her while she was here. When she passed on to the Rainbow bridge, she will have those memories to take along.... I really feel for you, my losses are still so raw so I can imagine how you feel. She is up there with the rest of our beloved chow babies running free and happy -- I am sure Mrs. Tu and Kirby gave her a very warm welcome!

[Jeff&Peks]

Just want to say thank you to everyone for your Concern and support for Onyx and Conner, Thanks for all the post, poems, PM's and e-mail's saying I made the right decision. like I said the thing that bothered me the most was she had become so happy and had such an adventure for life, everything was a learning experience for her and she enjoyed it all, it was like she was a puppy she couldn't get enough she loved every second. On walks and in the park she was always looking back at me to see if she was doing the right thing and looking for approval... Conner isn't to upset about it he has had so many Chows coming and going he doesn't fully understand what happen to Onyx and probably thinks Onyx went to live somewhere else like the rest so we just leave it at that. Everything about adopting Onyx was a little strange from the day they dragged her in to the shelter until the day she died it all seemed like a script, like it was meant to be. Alot of people on and off this site wanted Onyx there were two perfect homes in my neighborhood with horse's that wanted her but for some reason I came up with every excuse to keep her around a little longer.

I'm amazed at all the e-mail's I'm getting from people all over, non-members and non-chow owners that knew about Onyx, I didn't realize so many people were following her story.

Thanks again for everyone's help and support. When ever I read about any Chow dieing it make's me nauseas but I never know what to say so usually don't say anything, I know the owner has to be going through hell.

[mrstu]

Jeff, please do not be hard on yourself. You did make the right decision. That bloat is such a medical emergency that it is rarely caught and fixed. When I took Sophia in when she had pyometra, I said to the vet, how could I have two dogs have the same thing. The vet told me that there was another family that had two dogs that had died of bloat within a short time of each other. Sometimes we never understand really why God calls them home when he does. Just know that you gave Onyx the life she deserved no matter how short of a time it was. Being that I have had two losses of my babies within a couple of months of each other along with the death of my mom right in the middle of all that, I really understand how you feel. You do so much for all the chow babies out there and Onyx was very lucky to have you and Conner and your family. I am sending good thoughts your way, the pain does get better, it just takes time.....

[PurpleKisses]

I am so sorry... She was not here long but everyone on this site made Onyx part of the "family" here and she will be missed as much as all the rest of the chows on this site....

May she rest in Peace.

[nuke]

Thanks again for everyone's help and support. When ever I read about any Chow dieing it make's me nauseas but I never know what to say so usually don't say anything, I know the owner has to be going through hell.

I'm the same way, Jeff... I never know what to say even though my heart breaks for what you are going through.

My instinct tells me that you and Onyx didn't come together by accident and I know that you gave her absolute love and happiness.

[sengeoz]

Farewell Onyx - what a marvellous end of life you had after such a rotten introduction. You had Jeff and his family to love and to love you in return. You were able to leave this life knowing happiness, joy and freedom. You got to meet new people, see new sites, have delightful new experiences.

Jeff, thank you for opening your heart and home to this beautiful girl and taking such good care of her. It's unfortunate that she couldn't stay longer; unfortunately, there is always a good-bye. But the love you shared will always be with you.

[chichini]

Jeff,

We're so sorry to hear about Onyx. After reading the posts here, we can't even say much. You should be proud of yourself
because you gave Onyx another chance at life.

You had to make a decision. Personally, we wouldn't know what to do in that situation, either. Don't let your decision get you
down. Cherish the moments that you had with Onyx and don't ever forget them.

We hope that you feel better soon.

Dennis

[kiwani]

Farewell to our beloved Onyx. Run free with joy! Zoomie across that gentle bridge towards peace and eternal love.