Everyone thinks they know better....

[Tippsy'smom]

Ok, so I better start at the very beginning of the trouble.... On Thanksgiving, my mom's side of the family came to our house for the day (there were 15 people in the house total). So, we had Jasper in the dog run and Dixie and Snooki tied out in the backyard and I kept Todd up in his kennel most of the time they were here (he's not good with large groups of people and dislikes men; most of our family is men). Well, my aunt had the nerve to call me an ABUSIVE dog owner for not having Todd downstairs with everyone or the big dogs in the house with everyone! Every time I did bring Todd down he started panicking and tried to bite my idiot cousins who thought it was funny to stick hand in Gaia face and antagonize him! And the big dogs were out to keep them out of the food! And then 2 days later, I talked to my grandmother on the phone and she said the same friggin' thing!

And over the weekend we had one of our many family Christmas get togethers and my aunt had the nerve to say "you still abusing those poor babies?" I just about lost it. But all I said was "you're one to be talking, 2 of your dogs are locked out in that pen in the rain." I was furious! Especially, since it was coming from family! And it's not like the dogs are kenneled/tied out in the yard 24/7/365! They're indoor dogs who spend time outside too! Ugh! Makes me wanna punch a wall....

[Judy Fox]

Good rant Jess - and I know how you feel - I have been in similar situations years ago.

Now!
Take a deep breath!
Think beautiful thoughts!
Imagine you are chasing butterflies in the summer in the country!

(Have you got the message?)

Christmas can be lovely and it can also be a most difficult time but just think, in a week or so it will all be over.

[Cocoa]

Judy is right Jess, it will be over soon. Anyone with any common sense would tell you that a bunch of strangers in the house is stressful on the dogs and it is better for them to be kept apart. You know what you are doing is the right thing for your dogs and that is all that matters.

[Victory]

I swear people just look for ways to start arguments and create bad feelings during the holidays. Anyone with sense knows that allowing large dogs access in large crowds with a lot of food is stressful and can become dangerous. Frankly if my cousins had been that way with Todd I would have flat out told them, "Do it again, and I will prove I'm his alpha by biting you myself" and I would have drawn blood next. I also would have taken my food, my dogs and gone to my room and shut the door with a chair in front of it, telling everyone, "I prefer to be with them, than you."

Then I really don't like people and I learned to dislike them from my family. I would often find some place to hide during family get togethers. I'm weird I know.

We can be happy about one thing, the whole holiday time doesn't come but once a year, and you can be okay for another whole year after it. Just thing about that.

[cherriemater]

Oh dear, dear Jess!! Well, you've come to the right place for love an acceptance. We've all been through it! (I was disowned and yelled at when Kimba peed on my sisters carpet ... long story but there are still bitter feelings there.)

I love what Judy and Victory said ... go to your happy place and shut the door.

This year Joe and I have decided to just stay home. Not to mention that fact that we're barely making it paycheck to paycheck right now and can't afford to get into a car accident with our only vehicle ... but I just don't like the way our boys are treated (they're INDOOR dogs who much sleep outside in the garage ... I don't think so). I'D RATHER SLEEP IN THE GARAGE WITH THEM. Yeah ... last year it was okay because they were small enough to fit in the kennel, but now they're a bit bigger and until I can get our little mini camper fixed up, we're not visiting family overnight unless we can sleep together!

You're a good Mom, Jess! Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise!

[Cocoa]

Then I really don't like people and I learned to dislike them from my family.

Victory, I think we must have the same relatives.

[wokman]

I blame Television, years of watching unrealistic families acting out their lives in half hour segments, this was back when us Seniors were growing up. NOW, too much information. Geez people know how many bubbles are on your bar of soap after you got wet last time! The Holidays can be revenge time for some, you know the ones who eat while one finger from the other hand is in their nose. Be like a Chow and give them that look; I"am way beyond that mentality Mister/Sister.
Happy Holidays to all!

[NanouetJon]

This will make you laugh..
One family event I was asked (my family is polite) "Can I give Maddoxx a piece of my sandwhich?".. I chuckled and said " Sure, if he will take it!" My family bent over and offered it to Maddoxx and he immediately looked at me, because he knows he cannot beg or take food from the table. I asked Maddoxx " Do we beg at the table?"

He got up and left, to sit in the living room while we ate the rest of our dinner. My family was amazed and asked if I trained children.

[Rory's Dad]

I certainly can empathize. Rory is a sweetheart who loves just about everyone i know. Mind you it is normally myself and my wife and our 15 year old daughter. He loves our 21 year old son who lives on his own now, but visits tons to see Rory and take him for walks.

Thanksgiving, was here at my wifes request. Not the biggest of houses, but sufficient. M-I-L, who refuses to enter the house if the dog is at the door (doing his job, in his house), 2 children under 8 years of age, 1 of who thinks he should be a barbie doll and another who screeches and whines when the dog is within 10 feet. Two other female in-laws who love him to pieces, and a male in-law who is afraid of his shadow but wants to pretend to be a he-man and antagonizes the dog or yells at him for making his son screech...

She just planned Xmas Eve here and seriously, i am planning to annoint Rory for sainthood. He tolerates most of it very well...except for Mr. Wannabe, and i wish that i taught that dog to 'mark' humans on command. I would really like to see Rory proclaim him as his property.

Anyway, enjoy the holidays everyone, but man do i wish they were done already. Would be nice to be back on the road with just the judges to please.

[wokman]

Oh stop! I almost did not need Rory to fill my shoes. LOL!

[Tippsy'smom]

Thank y'all. The whole thing is just very frustrating.... And happens EVERY year..... And of course, the holidays can't be over soon enough.... New Year's Day can't be over fast enough.....

I swear people just look for ways to start arguments and create bad feelings during the holidays. Anyone with sense knows that allowing large dogs access in large crowds with a lot of food is stressful and can become dangerous. Frankly if my cousins had been that way with Todd I would have flat out told them, "Do it again, and I will prove I'm his alpha by biting you myself" and I would have drawn blood next. I also would have taken my food, my dogs and gone to my room and shut the door with a chair in front of it, telling everyone, "I prefer to be with them, than you."

Then I really don't like people and I learned to dislike them from my family. I would often find some place to hide during family get togethers. I'm weird I know.

We can be happy about one thing, the whole holiday time doesn't come but once a year, and you can be okay for another whole year after it. Just thing about that.

I agree with you, someone's always looking to start something. And I wish I could get peace by hiding out, but I just have people banging on my door telling me that I need to visit with family.

And this isn't the first time my aunt has started crap.... She use to say crap about Tippsy being a chow.... And the first Thanksgiving after we got Jazz and she threatened to "shoot him" if he went after her kids (who he just wanted to play with; he was 1 y/o at the time). That year her husband also kicked Jazz when all he was trying to do was play. The next year, she told me I was being "mean" to Dixie and Jazz by leaving them outside and having Tippsy (who was already sick) inside. And also let Dixie (who was 3-4 months old) off her tie-out and Dixie almost got hit by a car. Then last year, she cussed me out because Dixie growled at her youngest (he was 8 at the time) got in her face and screeched at the top of his lungs. And then what she said this year, on top of pointing a LOADED gun at my mom's yorkie! I've had it with this woman's crap... She and her husband think they're better than everyone else and that they know better than everyone else (even though none of their dogs are anything but potty trained).

Next time she says something about me being "mean" to my dogs, I'm thinking about just letting all3 of the big dogs and Todd loose and asking her how she feels with them all being obnoxious...

[Victory]

Oh, NONONONONONO. I'm sorry. I would not allow anyone to pull a gun, especially a loaded one in my house and even just point it at the floor. Nope. They would be told to leave immedately and NEVER return. And to point it at a yorkie is just rediculous. This woman, (I know she is your aunt) sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Why would anyone bring a loaded gun to a family gathering?

Sorry, Jess but this is why I don't approve of some people owning guns. I know it's not your house, but why do your parents tolerate it?

[Tippsy'smom]

She is a disaster waiting to happen. And I agree, some people don't need to own guns. Especially this woman.... She feels just because she has a concealed weapons permit that she should carry her gun anywhere and everywhere...

And honestly, I dunno why my parents tolerate. My mom was furious but wouldn't say anything.... She's afraid to stand up to her own sister. And in all honesty, I think my dad thought it was funny..... I wanted to punch the woman in the face and put she and her husband out on their butts.

[P.R. Bear]

I'd totally back you up if did give them the boot! I can't believe your folks allow this woman anywhere near the house! I've always said I prefer dogs over people. I have a sign by my door that says: "dogs welcome...people tolerated".

[Judy Fox]

This is awful Jess and I cannot say anything to help.
However, in a slight defence of your mother, she is probably trying to keep the peace.
Family discord is dreadful and if a row erupts it can go on for years, indeed for ever.
So, just hang in there, keep your cool if you can and count to ten.

[sue]

Change your dog walking routine when you know people are coming & you have to suffer them.Thats what i always did when we would have family visits years ago when i lived at home.Welcome then in be polite put up with them for 1 hour then get your coat on,gather your dogs,take a bottle of water & a snack with you then say be back in about 3 hours.You can always find a cosy spot to sit for a few hours in the park on a bench or in the woods on a fallen branch.When you arrive back home the dogs are tired & will want to sleep put them somewhere quiet & insists they need to be left alone to rest.Then repeat that in the evening as well but for about 2 hours at night.Always say your meeting up with fellow dog walkers & you cant be late because you agreed to walk round with them at a certain time.This worked when people came for the day to visit i suppose you could repeat this routine if they came for a weekend.It takes you & the dogs out of a stressful situation.

[Cocoa]

I have to agree with Victory about the gun, I'd go even further and not let them in my house with it at all and never invite them back. I think Sue has a great idea with the walks idea, that way you have to spend less time with the relatives as well. No down side there that I can see.

[Tippsy'smom]

I'd totally back you up if did give them the boot! I can't believe your folks allow this woman anywhere near the house! I've always said I prefer dogs over people. I have a sign by my door that says: "dogs welcome...people tolerated".

I wish they'd put their foot down and tell everyone we're done having get togethers at the house, but they won't. They've been against it for 8 years and it still happens here.... I want a sign that says that. I have 2 signs on my door. One says "Warning Guard Chow Chow on Duty" and the other says "Warning Guard Pomeranian on Duty".

This is awful Jess and I cannot say anything to help.
However, in a slight defence of your mother, she is probably trying to keep the peace.
Family discord is dreadful and if a row erupts it can go on for years, indeed for ever.
So, just hang in there, keep your cool if you can and count to ten.

There's always fights in our family... I don't think many of us ever truly get along.

Change your dog walking routine when you know people are coming & you have to suffer them.Thats what i always did when we would have family visits years ago when i lived at home.Welcome then in be polite put up with them for 1 hour then get your coat on,gather your dogs,take a bottle of water & a snack with you then say be back in about 3 hours.You can always find a cosy spot to sit for a few hours in the park on a bench or in the woods on a fallen branch.When you arrive back home the dogs are tired & will want to sleep put them somewhere quiet & insists they need to be left alone to rest.Then repeat that in the evening as well but for about 2 hours at night.Always say your meeting up with fellow dog walkers & you cant be late because you agreed to walk round with them at a certain time.This worked when people came for the day to visit i suppose you could repeat this routine if they came for a weekend.It takes you & the dogs out of a stressful situation.

I've tried that... And I got harassed for doing it. I'm repeatedly told I "need to spend time with the family"...

[Judy Fox]

Repeat - "Just hang in there Jess!"

[Auddymay]

Don't get offended. Just look at the person making the snarky comments and say, "My pets don't suffer fools, so it's best for everyone involved to keep them separated from our present company..." Then just give a sympathetic little smile to 'the fool'.

[Victory]

Man, Jess I so truly wish you could find a good job and get out of your situation. I know it will happen and just wish it could happen quickly for you. I think you will find as I did all those many years ago that being on your own is the best for an independent Taurean. I no longer had to "play nice" I only had to say what I wanted, not that I out and out lied, but I learned I liked keeping my business to myself, where it belonged. And the best thing was if I was visiting someone and had to go home to my pets, I didn't waste time trying to make it look good. I had responsiblities that no longer included family or friends and I was off to see to them.

It helped a lot that I was 1500 miles away too.

[applebear]

Being responsible and KNOWING your dog is NOT abusive. If a bite would occur then they would tell you how irresponsible you were and how mean your dog is...there's no winning, so do what is best for your dog. I won't hesitate to put my dog behind the doggy gate or in his crate if I feel it's needed. There is nothing abusive about it, we wouldn't have these stupid BSL [breed banning] laws if more people knew their dogs like you did and took the precautions as needed. Don't give it a second thought, you did nothing wrong.

[gebower]

I feel your pain. I have two big Chows, Max 85 lbs. and easy going. But, Zeena, my black female Chow who is 65 lbs. is a spitfire and very protective of her home. When company comes over I put a short webbed leash on her so I can grab her quickly. She'll growl at them and may try to nip them, if she tries that I take her in the bedroom room and shut the door. Time out. She'll start crying about it in a while and I let her out again. If she starts up again, back to the bedroom. Then she takes the hint and settles down. But, she has to be watched with company over. Totally understand what you're doing, no cruelty at all in what you do. Guests have to be protected and Chows are naturally protective of their home. A LOT of people that don't have Chows just don't understand Chows. They are a rough, tough breed. When I had a garage sale, my Chows were in the yard with a fence between them and customers. They were were playing and someone said, "They're FIGHTING!" I said no, they're not fighting, they're playing. They play rough. Nothing sissy about a Chow, that's one of the reasons I love them so much. Don't want a sissy dog.

Take care, Gene.