Tess & Me

[pfordeb]

Good philosophy. As you'll find many dogs on this site let their people know when it was time. I was struggling with the decision, but one day Sullivan's legs gave out, and we had to put her out of her pain. Since Tess is older, she may pass in her sleep. I hope it is peaceful whenever it happens. You have my and everyone elses' sympathy and empathy. Most of us have been through it. Again, enjoy this time; Tess knows you are doing everything to help her and make her feel comfortable.

[Me & Tess]

We have decided to put Tess down Her cancer site keeps opening and is seeping blood, there is really nothing else we can do. The vet is coming to our cabin on Monday at noon to make her to give her a shot for the big sleep. We have this weekend to lover her. I keep late hours and she sits on the floor next to me. We put blankets down. She has had a good life & is a big part of our family. We all ready have her grave dug between two trees. It's next to one of our trails. This is just so hard. I have never bonded so closely with any other dog. Chows are special beings. My eyes are so red - I just keep crying. I think I only yelled at her once, in all the years we've had her. I feel like my heart is breaking - she has been our furry child. We did take a nice walk this evening and a walk to our creek earlier. I sat with her on the ground with my feet in the water. She went across the creek and all I could see was her tail waging thru the brush and grasses. I am going to continue her story when I feel a little better. Maybe I could contribute some positive input for new Chow owners, I want to thank all who has giving us condolences - this helps lots. My husband is going to miss her as much as iI will. I'm not going to tell the kids yet. I will also like to send a few pictures but my husband has to show me how to do it.

[kingalls]

This will be a special weekend for you, enjoy every second with her. I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing Tess with us.

[janet]

im crying with you as i read this. it is such a heart wrenching thing to endure. you actually feel as if your heart is breaking. give tess a wonderful weekend and just keep in mind that she will no longer be in any pain and will soon be running with all of her chow friends over the rainbow bridge. try and stay strong, our prayers are with you and your family.

[Chow Chow Mama]

I am so sorry to hear about Tess. Just give her all of her favorite things this weekend and love her. Know that you love her enough to end her pain and that she loves you even more.

[Auddymay]

I read the first post about your Tess, then not again until today. I am truely sorry. I hoped you had more time. Tess sounds like she was a wonderful, amazing companion.

[chow fancier]

Bless you for being strong enough to give her a peaceful and graceful end. It is certainly not an easy thing to do. The reason that their lives are so short is unfathomable to me.

Know that she loves you as much as you love her and will be waiting for you at the end of your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[chris]

I , like Auddymay read this in the begining, and then not again today ... I also thought you would have had more time. But, God calls all his creatures when it is time. Im so sorry, and Im sitting crying my eyes out at work because I know what you are going through. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[fillyok]

Besides giving them a wonderful life, knowing when it's time to end their pain is the biggest gift we give to our furry companions. May you find strength and peace during this difficult time.

[CoraP.]

I am so very sorry. I was hoping Tess would be around longer, too. It sounds like she has had a wonderful life with you. It is so awfully hard to say good - by.

[Boogie and Linda]

I am so sorry. It is so sad. I am not quite sure what to say.

[Laura]

My heart breaks for you. Cancer took my Kody from me in much the same way so the pain is all too familiar. The way you have chosen to share your life with Tess with all of us is both wonderful and deeply saddening. My thoughts and prayers will be with you on this last weekend. I look forward to seeing your pictures and I know there are no words to help but you truly do have understanding, care and concern from all of us. Please give Tess a snuggle from me.

[Me & Tess]

It's raining. Tess is under the stairs of our loft. She sat with us this morning while we were eating breakfast and then when we were watching the Sunday news program. Sometimes she needs alone time. She is hiding her wound when we try to look at it. Yesterday was a good day for the most part. Tess & I did our walking to the creek and we sat for a while. She wanted to walk a little further so we walked down our driveway to our dirt road, then to the end of our property and took the trail to the sawdust pile (remains of logging around a hundred years ago). We have a bench there under the canopy of the trees. I sat on the log bench with Tess at my feet looking out towards the road. We stayed there about 1/2 hour. Then up the trail to our cabin. I cooked & prepared dinner - meatball sandwiches - Tess loves to watch me. Both Mike and I slipped her a couple of meatballs plus a slice of cheese which didn't agree with Tess' tummy. I made a pot of white rice and mixed that with her food. She loves rice. She did ok after that. Last night she had a hard time getting comfortable - I don't know why she does this, but she asks my permission to lay beside me on the sofa - it's a habit she's developed, just a little whine. She had a hard time getting up and dragged herself to the rug where she could get a grip. I keep 2nd guessing myself, if I am doing the right thing, I do see her going into the suffering stage then I know it is right to give dignity to her death. I know she is masking her pain. Mike picked up some hay yesterday and lined her grave with it. I found a beautiful rock by Lake Koocanusa, it is broken in half to reveal the beautiful rainbow pattern. That will be a corner stone. Mike will carve a piece of oak to be at the head of her grave. My tears are like waves.

[jacqui]

my heart is breaking as I read each of your posts.I know what a sad time this is for you.you know Tess better than anyone.I know you will do the right thing.
thank you for sharing your lives with us.
we will all be here when you need support.
Bless you and Tess.

[Judy Fox]

Yes indeed - Bless you all and Tess.
You have given her a wonderful life and you will show her the greatest act of love by letting her go off to The Happy Hunting Ground where every day is spring and not more pain.
God Bless you all.

[fillyok]

I was thinking about you and Tess yesterday. I hope you're doing okay and can come back soon to tell us more about your life with Tess. It does sound like you had a blessed life together.

[Mally]

I'm crying with you for your loss. Tess would have gone peacefully with everyone who loved her sorrounding her. She knows she is loved and she knows that mummy and daddy will miss her terribly - she will miss her walks. But she will watch you from heaven and be your angel until it is time for you to meet again

[TJordan]

My heart is breaking while reading this. It is so very sad. I do hope you will be able to stay and share all your memories of Tess.

[Me & Tess]

Yesterday was so hard. We took Tess on her last walk, Mike, me & Tess. We took our time with her. There were deer on the road and she gave her one last short run at the deer, her back fur up. The vet arrived at noon. Tess layed by the door. Mike held her head and I had my face buried in her fur. When the vet gave her her shot Tess layed her head down and crossed the rainbow bridge like the brave lady she has alway been. After the vet left, Mike took her outside to her grave, lined with hay. He layed a shroud of ground cloth over her. I threw in a handful of dirt and Mike filled the grave with dirt and rocks. We layed larger rocks on top of her grave. One of my friends had given me Holy Water from Lourdes France. I sprinkled it on the four corners of her grave and right in the middle. It is difficult today, our cabin is small and you could always see her with her eyes intently watching. As the vet left yesterday, she said we did the right thing. This hurts so much. She was our companion, friend and confidant. We miss her dearly. Mike put a couple of pictures on several of my first posts. This is a picture of Tess and me walking on our driveway on a Christmas day. I want to post more of Tess' stories but it may be several days. The sky is gray today over our Montana homestead.

[Nita F.]

My heart goes out to you and Mike. Many of us on this site have had to make that difficult choice at one time or another. It is one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. Rest assured you did the right thing and know she loved you for it. She is no longer in pain and is playing with all the chows across the Rainbow Bridge.

Nita

[Victory]

You loved her deeply and gave her the greatest gift you could a release from her pain.

The Greatest Gift


I always knew this time would come
From the very first time our eyes first met
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then and I keep that promise now.

You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal,
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision.

The price for the bright joy and pure laughter.

You brought me during the time we shared.


I am the only one who can decide when it is time
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.
It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready,
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger,
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you the last gift, the greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating,
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow,
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened
And unlike other decisions I have made,
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace
For if there's one thing I have learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all.



I must be willing to let you go when you speak to me,

I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find the ones who have gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead
I cannot say I will not miss you,
I cannot say I will not cry,
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.

But I promise you this...
as long as I live...You will live
Alive in my mind, forever in my heart
And this will be my greatest gift...
Sending you away
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say
“Goodbye, go find the Rainbow Bridge
and yes, we'll meet again.

Loving you has been the greatest gift of all.”

Karla Bertram

Written for Tiara (a Standard Poodle) in 1994

and for Topaz, a wonderful cat who died in 1996

[jacqui]

my heart is breaking for you and Mike.I feel so sad for you and I wish there was something I could say to that unbearable pain away.
it hurts like nothing else in the world.you have done the best you could do for Tess.she was so lucky to be loved so much.
I am so sorry and I will keep you and Tess in my prayers.

[Judy Fox]

God Bless you and Mike and remember, you gave her the most precious gifts of all - you rescued her and gave her love she would never have known.
Then the greatest gift of all - you let her go.

"Say not in grief she is no more but in thankfulness she was."

[WildThings]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Tess. It sounds like she had the most wonderful last few days...they are the memories she takes with her across the Rainbow Bridge.

[kingalls]

Run free, sweet Tess!