How do you move on when your chow passes?
Moderator: chowadmin
-
mrshandleson
- Rank 0
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:07 pm
- Location: Southern Indiana
How do you move on when your chow passes?
I lost my chow Louie on December 1st 2012 and he passed very suddenly, one day he was fine and the next day I'm picking him up out of my yard racing him to the vet. Now that a little time has passed I've recently been thinking about getting another chow and I found a little boy today that I'm going to see tomorrow. The problem is I feel guilty and I worry Louie will think I'm betraying him or trying to replace him.
My question is how do you move on when you lose a chow? I don't think a lot of my friends or family understand the bond I had with Louie, I was the one person he picked to give all his trust to and love more then anything an I felt the same way about him.
Why do I feel so guilty? An do you feel like your chow would think you're replacing them or forgetting about them? Any advice is appreciated I've tried to handle it on my own but I think I need a little guidance and input from people who understand what I'm going through. Thank you
My question is how do you move on when you lose a chow? I don't think a lot of my friends or family understand the bond I had with Louie, I was the one person he picked to give all his trust to and love more then anything an I felt the same way about him.
Why do I feel so guilty? An do you feel like your chow would think you're replacing them or forgetting about them? Any advice is appreciated I've tried to handle it on my own but I think I need a little guidance and input from people who understand what I'm going through. Thank you
-
Tippsy'smom
/chow-avatar-0330.jpg)
- Rank 3
- Posts: 3123
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:28 am
- Location: McDonough, GA
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
I lost my girl Tippsy almost 2 years ago. She was my heart and soul, my best friend, and confidant. The first few months after she passed were the hardest. I actually blamed myself for her passing, even though there was nothing I could have done (she was diagnosed with lymphoma and it progressed rapidly... Took her from me 2 weeks after she was diagnosed). A week after her passing though, I KNEW I wanted another chow. I told my mom that I did. Months came and went and I was making it through with the help of Dixie and Jasper, who were 1 and 2 at the time. I looked online at chows for adoption, and my mom contacted a couple breeders, but nothing fell into place. I kept looking though because I knew Tippsy would want me to give a fantastic and loving home to another dog/chow.
I remembered Tippsy everyday; I still do. But I knew she'd want me to be happy. She wouldn't want me to dwell on her death. She'd want me to remember all the good times spent together and smile. Not be sad that she's no longer physically here. It really helped me when I came to the realization, that she's still with me. Not physically, but spiritually, and always in my heart.
My parents ended up adopting Todd (my pom) for me about 11 months after Tippsy's passing. We'd discussed a chow but my dad was against it (he didn't want another big dog), so I told them that I wanted a pom (Im my mind, they're like mini chows lol). They surprised me with Todd on March 19, 2012, and it was an instant connection. I knew Tippsy sent him to me. She put my mom on that website and guided her to Todd. She knew he needed me and I needed him.
It's gonna be hard for a while, I'm not gonna lie. But if you feel ready for a new chow, and it's right, you'll know. Just don't push it. It'll happen when it's right. And don't think you're betraying him, you're honoring him by offering another a home.
I remembered Tippsy everyday; I still do. But I knew she'd want me to be happy. She wouldn't want me to dwell on her death. She'd want me to remember all the good times spent together and smile. Not be sad that she's no longer physically here. It really helped me when I came to the realization, that she's still with me. Not physically, but spiritually, and always in my heart.
My parents ended up adopting Todd (my pom) for me about 11 months after Tippsy's passing. We'd discussed a chow but my dad was against it (he didn't want another big dog), so I told them that I wanted a pom (Im my mind, they're like mini chows lol). They surprised me with Todd on March 19, 2012, and it was an instant connection. I knew Tippsy sent him to me. She put my mom on that website and guided her to Todd. She knew he needed me and I needed him.
It's gonna be hard for a while, I'm not gonna lie. But if you feel ready for a new chow, and it's right, you'll know. Just don't push it. It'll happen when it's right. And don't think you're betraying him, you're honoring him by offering another a home.
Jess
R.I.P. Cinder~1992-1994, Tippsy~9/00-4/11, Jasper~10/08-10/14, Todd~2/11-7/15
Dixie: mix Rebel: mix
R.I.P. Cinder~1992-1994, Tippsy~9/00-4/11, Jasper~10/08-10/14, Todd~2/11-7/15
Dixie: mix Rebel: mix
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
As Tippsy'smom said you will know when the next companion presents themselves to you.
My second Chow presented himself to me three months after Miss Mailee passed on from Cancer.
Mr. Boo, my second Chow lead me to Mrs. Kamie five months after he passed on from old age, when one day Petfinder.com appeared on my recently acquired first computers screen.
Four months later a Rescue person put a Chow puppy on her web site; it was Miss Zoey one of Kamies' litter from a shelter in a neighboring town too where Kamie came from.
Mr. Leo, my fifth Chow was meant too go to Rescue but Kamie fell head over paws for him so he joined the group.
After months of looking on the Rescue web sites with many times backing off making contact with the Fosters/Shelters because I thought I did not have good references; Miss Abby came into my life.
Abby took six weeks to acquire, but with the help of a Rescue Angel she found her way here, though I know it was really Miss Kamie's guidance that brought her to me, eleven months after her passing.
My second Chow presented himself to me three months after Miss Mailee passed on from Cancer.
Mr. Boo, my second Chow lead me to Mrs. Kamie five months after he passed on from old age, when one day Petfinder.com appeared on my recently acquired first computers screen.
Four months later a Rescue person put a Chow puppy on her web site; it was Miss Zoey one of Kamies' litter from a shelter in a neighboring town too where Kamie came from.
Mr. Leo, my fifth Chow was meant too go to Rescue but Kamie fell head over paws for him so he joined the group.
After months of looking on the Rescue web sites with many times backing off making contact with the Fosters/Shelters because I thought I did not have good references; Miss Abby came into my life.
Abby took six weeks to acquire, but with the help of a Rescue Angel she found her way here, though I know it was really Miss Kamie's guidance that brought her to me, eleven months after her passing.
-
Judy Fox
- Rank 4
- Posts: 6320
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:49 am
- Location: Cheshire, On The Island.(But always wishing she was back home in Wales)
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
It is very difficult when a beloved companion dies. You do feel you should have known there was something wrong but in reality, these things happen and you cannot blame yourself.
We had our Milly die because she had a cancer in her stomach. We could not have known but it was a horrible shock.
However, you can move on.
Always think of the old Hebrew proverb:-
"Say not in grief he is no more but in thankfulness he was."
Then think about getting another chow chow. I am sure Louie will not think bad of you - in fact he is probably sitting in the Happy Hunting Grounds wondering why you have not welcomed another chow into your home and into your life.
I think it is probably the greatest compliment you can offer him to say you loved him so much, you want another.
m
We had our Milly die because she had a cancer in her stomach. We could not have known but it was a horrible shock.
However, you can move on.
Always think of the old Hebrew proverb:-
"Say not in grief he is no more but in thankfulness he was."
Then think about getting another chow chow. I am sure Louie will not think bad of you - in fact he is probably sitting in the Happy Hunting Grounds wondering why you have not welcomed another chow into your home and into your life.
I think it is probably the greatest compliment you can offer him to say you loved him so much, you want another.
m
(Thank you Sweetpea for my new banner.)
-
chowchowdaddy
- Rank 1
- Posts: 282
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:51 am
- Location: fishers, in
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
When we lost Chia, our first chow, to cancer, we were devastated. We had Emperor Ming and he truly went into mourning for his "big sister." Several months later, neither of us had said anything about getting another girl, but we were out walking Ming one evening and, for whatever reason, we both said, simultaneously, "I think Ming needs someone more in his life..." That's how we got Tempest, several months later, and haven't regretted one single, solitary second of our decision. It's something that you just somehow know. If you're thinking about it, then it's time. I still have Chia as my screensaver on my office computer and I say good morning to her every morning I'm in my office, and I still miss her and always will, but she was so loved, and she knew it, that she'd want us to continue to share our love with other chows...
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
Iam so sorry for your loss , I lost Nikki 16 months ago and I still think of her
Everyday !! I have a 7 month old golden retriever now but I still have an inkling we will have a chow brother for Bella someday! We just haven't met him yet!
Everyday !! I have a 7 month old golden retriever now but I still have an inkling we will have a chow brother for Bella someday! We just haven't met him yet!
-
mrshandleson
- Rank 0
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:07 pm
- Location: Southern Indiana
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
Thank you guys so much for the replies. It helps to know I'm not alone in this. I decided not to go see the chow puppy I found. I think I may need just a little more time to find some peace and closure with his passing. Thank you all again!
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
I'm so sorry for your loss - I haven't been through that with my chows yet and I dread the day. I have lost much loved cats before and felt guilty about 'silly things'. I lost one of my cats soon after getting my dogs and I felt as though she might have thought that I gave up on her because I had replaced her (of course, she didnt think that at all).
I'm sure that if your dog could send you a message, he would say that he thanks you for the lovely life he had with you and wants to know that you are loved now, as he loved you. I'm sure that a new chow will bring lots of love to you and this will happen when you feel ready. They are all different and a new baby won't replace Louie as such, he will always have a special chow-shaped space in your heart, but help you smile again. I'm sure you will be ready soon and until then try to remember that the guilt you feel is normal and just an upside-down expression of the love you had for Louie.
I'm sure that if your dog could send you a message, he would say that he thanks you for the lovely life he had with you and wants to know that you are loved now, as he loved you. I'm sure that a new chow will bring lots of love to you and this will happen when you feel ready. They are all different and a new baby won't replace Louie as such, he will always have a special chow-shaped space in your heart, but help you smile again. I'm sure you will be ready soon and until then try to remember that the guilt you feel is normal and just an upside-down expression of the love you had for Louie.
-
Rory's Dad
- Rank 3
- Posts: 1708
- Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:48 am
- Location: Mansfield, MA USA
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
Go with your gut on this, and it sounds like you have. You need to be ready to move on. Obviously it's different for everyone.
For us, we lost our 12 year old Kodi. He has serious hip discomfort and needed help getting up from a laying position and just could get comfortable anymore. Six months later our 9 year old, Teddee, developed a seizure condition. It was painful to watch him try to recover from these and base canine instincts were all he would have for several hours after an event. That made him dangerous to our teenage daughter, so we had to make the tough decision, but it was the right one for both him and his loving family.
We were convinced after that that we would be ok without new dogs. Then is went full circle. We made the decision to have Teddee put down, in part for my daughters safety. She came home after school to the dogs, and they guarded her and the house. 100% confidence in her being alone with the dogs at her side.
Shortly after, she asked us "who's gonna make sure i'm safe and protect me". That was it for us. She never asked for a cute, cuddly puppy. As a dad, that did it for me. We talked, and there was never a doubt that another Chow was our only choice. We were lucky enough to locate Rory and he is fantastic. That got us going again and we picked up our female, Amber, just last night. Rory is 17 months now and she wont leave our daughters hip if she is by herself.
For us, we lost our 12 year old Kodi. He has serious hip discomfort and needed help getting up from a laying position and just could get comfortable anymore. Six months later our 9 year old, Teddee, developed a seizure condition. It was painful to watch him try to recover from these and base canine instincts were all he would have for several hours after an event. That made him dangerous to our teenage daughter, so we had to make the tough decision, but it was the right one for both him and his loving family.
We were convinced after that that we would be ok without new dogs. Then is went full circle. We made the decision to have Teddee put down, in part for my daughters safety. She came home after school to the dogs, and they guarded her and the house. 100% confidence in her being alone with the dogs at her side.
Shortly after, she asked us "who's gonna make sure i'm safe and protect me". That was it for us. She never asked for a cute, cuddly puppy. As a dad, that did it for me. We talked, and there was never a doubt that another Chow was our only choice. We were lucky enough to locate Rory and he is fantastic. That got us going again and we picked up our female, Amber, just last night. Rory is 17 months now and she wont leave our daughters hip if she is by herself.
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
Your not replacing your beloved chowbaby, your adding a new one to your heart xx
Thank you Sweatpea
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
First of all I’d like to welcome you to our “neighborhood”. I noticed that you just recently joined here. To me, the members here remind me of when I was growing up in a small old-time neighborhood. Sharing, caring, listening, laughing, offering advice and suggestions and best of all - lending a shoulder to lean or cry on.
You asked how do you move on when you lose your chow. Very good question. You came to a good place to seek advice. A number of the members here have been in your shoes at some point in time. A few have replied already. Each person handles it in their own way and time. It isn’t something that just happens over night.
Please don’t feel guilty. You did everything you could for Louie and he knows that. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Since you are considering getting another chow, don’t think of it as replacing Louie (which would be impossible). Think of it as getting another one to help fill the void left in your life by Louie. Louie will always hold a special place in your heart and you have many memories of him stored in the memory box in your mind. He knows how much he was loved by you and his spirit will guide you to find your next chow.
I lost my beloved Chloe little over two years ago. She had been part of my life for over 13 years and now I was alone again. After she passed away I felt like I was plodding through melted caramel. Each day was an uphill climb. She passed away in January 2011. Summer of that year I started to get a nudging feeling to start looking for another chow. I seriously believe it was Chloe’s spirit doing the nudging. She had been a rescue and she was reaching out to me, telling me to find another rescue and give it the good life like she had been given by me. I came across chowchow.org and decided to join. I’m so glad I did! I found my current chow, Whitby, here.
I’m still working through my loss of Chloe and I know she’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I still find myself talking to her now and then. After she was first gone I’d call out to her when I left for work or came home or when we’d have a thunderstorm I’d tell her she was OK. Etc. I come across things now and then that bring back memories. Such a piece of sheet music for “Silver Bells” - she got hold of it and ate part of it. Every time I hear the song, I think of her. My daughter was visiting the other evening and she needed a flash light. I gave her the one out of my bedroom. She looked at the bottom of it and we both said “Chloe” at the same time. Chloe had gotten a hold of it and chewed the base. I could go on, but I won’t.
You have your special memories of Louie that are stored in the memory box of your mind. Now and then one will pop up and bring a laugh, smile or tears. Tell yourself “That’s OK”.
When the time is right, you will find your next furbaby
You’re in my thoughts and prayers
Take Care
Pam
You asked how do you move on when you lose your chow. Very good question. You came to a good place to seek advice. A number of the members here have been in your shoes at some point in time. A few have replied already. Each person handles it in their own way and time. It isn’t something that just happens over night.
Please don’t feel guilty. You did everything you could for Louie and he knows that. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Since you are considering getting another chow, don’t think of it as replacing Louie (which would be impossible). Think of it as getting another one to help fill the void left in your life by Louie. Louie will always hold a special place in your heart and you have many memories of him stored in the memory box in your mind. He knows how much he was loved by you and his spirit will guide you to find your next chow.
I lost my beloved Chloe little over two years ago. She had been part of my life for over 13 years and now I was alone again. After she passed away I felt like I was plodding through melted caramel. Each day was an uphill climb. She passed away in January 2011. Summer of that year I started to get a nudging feeling to start looking for another chow. I seriously believe it was Chloe’s spirit doing the nudging. She had been a rescue and she was reaching out to me, telling me to find another rescue and give it the good life like she had been given by me. I came across chowchow.org and decided to join. I’m so glad I did! I found my current chow, Whitby, here.
I’m still working through my loss of Chloe and I know she’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I still find myself talking to her now and then. After she was first gone I’d call out to her when I left for work or came home or when we’d have a thunderstorm I’d tell her she was OK. Etc. I come across things now and then that bring back memories. Such a piece of sheet music for “Silver Bells” - she got hold of it and ate part of it. Every time I hear the song, I think of her. My daughter was visiting the other evening and she needed a flash light. I gave her the one out of my bedroom. She looked at the bottom of it and we both said “Chloe” at the same time. Chloe had gotten a hold of it and chewed the base. I could go on, but I won’t.
You have your special memories of Louie that are stored in the memory box of your mind. Now and then one will pop up and bring a laugh, smile or tears. Tell yourself “That’s OK”.
When the time is right, you will find your next furbaby
You’re in my thoughts and prayers
Take Care
Pam
/chow-avatar-0211.jpg){kind=avatar}
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
I didn't realize so much time had passed...but it's been around 13 years since I lost my last chow. I am just now getting another. Some get a new one right away, some wait, some never do...there are no wrong or right answers, it's just when you feel it's time. For me, I lost my last chow in a very traumatic way...I have never fully recovered, he was a extremely important part of my life. When I lost him, I lost a part of me. Though I have had other dogs over the years, I just wasn't ready for another chow. This is my time, and my time only.
My last chow has moved on to the next chapter of his story, there's no way he wouldn't want me to do the same. It is impossible to replace him, but that doesn't mean I can't love another and we will have our own unique bond, it'll be the same as before but different all at once...if that makes sense.
Sorry for your loss, and be well.
My last chow has moved on to the next chapter of his story, there's no way he wouldn't want me to do the same. It is impossible to replace him, but that doesn't mean I can't love another and we will have our own unique bond, it'll be the same as before but different all at once...if that makes sense.
Sorry for your loss, and be well.
/chow-avatar-0320.jpg){kind=avatar}
Re: How do you move on when your chow passes?
I also felt guilty to buy another pup of the same breed like my old pal who died. So I let that low feeling lay around for a whole year before I could bring myself to buy another one - but not the same breed like she was - I just cant stand the thought of it, I will miss her everyday. It would have been easier if I am caring for one of her offsprings but all of her offsprings passed away and she was the last one.
Thus I now have a chow which I intend to selectively breed also. I got other dogs but my bond to her was different - she was there to comfort me during those low times in my life. being a jokester dog, she would heal my emotional pain a little at a time. You know, she'd have a tennis ball, see if I am looking, if she saw I am, she'd pretend not to notice, if she caught me not looking at her, she'd quickly sneak around me, grab whatever I was holding (be it a leash or another chewtoy) and run for her life! Then, she'll walk back and lie down, would pretend to chew on her paws. Then repeat the same process again until I gave her a mock chase - which was our standard goof around.
Thus I now have a chow which I intend to selectively breed also. I got other dogs but my bond to her was different - she was there to comfort me during those low times in my life. being a jokester dog, she would heal my emotional pain a little at a time. You know, she'd have a tennis ball, see if I am looking, if she saw I am, she'd pretend not to notice, if she caught me not looking at her, she'd quickly sneak around me, grab whatever I was holding (be it a leash or another chewtoy) and run for her life! Then, she'll walk back and lie down, would pretend to chew on her paws. Then repeat the same process again until I gave her a mock chase - which was our standard goof around.