So sad

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Chowmomma
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So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:08 pm

I truly need support and I don't know where to turn, I feel like I don't belong here and that truly makes me sad. I need support and I am terrified about Zahra's surgery and what to expect and if I'm going to be able to properly take care of her with my own health issues. I was hoping I could get support here and am so disappointed. I see that my posts are read but no replies. I feel I have been misunderstood as a bad chow owner and that is the furthurest thing from the truth.
I am so scared as if she is my child and don't know where to turn for support :(

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Re: So sad

Postby Victory » Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:07 am

I think it's because we don't know what to say. You have reacted very strongly to anything we have said that doesn't fit what you want to hear. I think I've been a member of this site, (since it was another site entirely actually) that I can speak for many on here that we hope that Zahra comes through her surgery just fine, and that your health issues have a good out come as well.

That being said, I think there is some concern about your ablity to care for Zahra after her surgery. She is having surgery to fix a hip problem if I remember right? Many times hip and/or knee surgeries mean very little weight bearing for some time. Often they have to go out to be pottied, with a sling around them to keep the weight off the healing joint. Are you going to be able to do this or do you have someone who is going to be able to help you do this? Have you talked to your vet about exactly what she will need for her recovery time and how long that will be? Usually most canines come through surgeries well, as long as proper anesthesia is used, (for chows this should always be isoflourine gas only) and pain meds aren't too strong.

As I said before what has your Vet said? How much information have you been given? These are the things you should be doing now, and making plans for her recovery if you are unable to do so yourself, you have a friend near you who is a breeder, would she be able and/or willing to help with any physical needs?
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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:33 am

My breeder lives 10 hrs away

I just want support from chow people who understand

I feel unwanted here and that makes me sad

I am a good chow owner and I take very good care of my chows and have been told that many times and then I come here and feel like I'm a terrible owner

I'm torn cause I love this site and the info and pictures

No one has even tried to get to know me at all

I am personal friends with Theo who suggested this site to me....

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Re: So sad

Postby Sirchow » Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:14 am

I am very sorry that your chow is going through such a major surgery and I have been through similar with my Bramble in the past so I do know how hard it is to keep them completely rested. I wonder if you have a plan for looking after her.
I dont know as Victory said, what to say to you, because I feel that you make such an effort to illicite a responce from us and I have no idea half the time what it is you want. I cant give you any advice because I feel from past posts you wouldn't welcome it so I am unsure what you are looking for the forum. I am tempted to delete this reply and not say anything but that wont help either. I have written several things and deleted them because what ever I write I can see they could be taken wrong. So I think from that you can possible see why other people have not written anything here.
I think you are as welcome as anyone else on this forum and all you need to do is join in and chat and stop trying to make a statement. You have beautiful chows and are obviously going through a hard time and that would be enough for most people to want to be friendly. I dont mean to hurt your feelings saying this I am just saying how I see it, as it might help.
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Chowmomma
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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:11 am

OK I'm not asking for anything other than if anyone has went through this and can give me heads up of what I'm facing. I said I wanted her taken care of before my own surgery so I am able to take care of her because after my surgery I am down down

I don't understand why y'all so afraid to reply to me but it tells me I need to find another place to be I guess

I'm not sure why anyone thinks I WANT anything other than friends, and I DO get involved

All I asked is if anyone knew about her recovery time and what to expect

I used to be a moderator at a hysterectomy web site and I made sure everyone felt welcome so I'm not new to this kinda thing

I don't know why I keep hearing I can't take care of them properly, have u seen pics?

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Re: So sad

Postby Judy Fox » Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:00 pm

I m very sorry that I have not responded but this is simply because I have no experience of this sort of problem so I cannot give any advice or suggestions.
That said, I am very sorry about the predicament you find yourself in and wish there was something I could say that would help.
All I can say is that I hope things go well. :)
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Re: So sad

Postby chowchowdaddy » Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:11 pm

As a frequent reader and occasional poster, I would like to add my two cents worth (for whatever it's worth...). While I haven't really come to this site with problems in the past, I often PM people with problems and am always more than willing to provide whatever support that I can. I just love Chows, I love this site and I really enjoy reading everyone's posts. Some make me sad, some make me cry, some make me very happy. But, overalll, I think that the VAST majority of people on here just want to be friends, to provide some "been there, done that" stuff, and generally promote the welfare and happiness of our Chows.

That being said, you can always PM me, I'm a great shoulder on which to unload burdens!

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:53 pm

Thank you!!!! Not only for your kindness but for your understanding of what I am looking for....just someone who loves these furbabies as much as me....thank you! Am so worried about her and yea the vets will tell me what to do but having an ear....oh and love the name lol, close to mine tee hee chowchowdaddy

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Re: So sad

Postby Rio » Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:13 pm

I too did not respond to your post Chowmomma as I have no experience whatsoever with your current situation. My only thought on this is, do you not have actual friends to turn to rather than forum acquaintances? I understand that the vast majority on here are dog owners and many have been for long times, but surely this situation calls for more than advice and a friendly posting.

I do however hope that all up-coming operations (doggy and human) go smoothly and all recoveries are uneventful.

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:47 pm

I have friends of course but isn't this a forum for chows? I had questions about chows ....I'm confused

I just asked what to expect after her surgery so I am confused as to why this was not the place to ask a question about a chow, do I need to go to a beagle forum? No offense but y'all keep making me feel like things I say are wrong

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 3:46 pm

So I took your advice and asked my "friends" and some of them even wanted to call vets and ask, others offered well wishes and prayers for me and Zahra and support if I needed to talk ....so thanks for that amazing advice I WAS in the wrong place!

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Re: So sad

Postby Auddymay » Mon Jul 30, 2012 7:04 pm

I hope Zahra has a successful surgery and recovery. There have been a few hip surgeries here amongst the membership, but not too many. Maybe list her after-care requirements and we who have not had this specific experience can learn and even offer some tips and tricks to helping a recovering Chow.

In your first 2 posts in this thread, you said, "I feel unwanted here and that makes me sad." IMHO, you are a very sensitive person and are easily hurt.

Because of your experience with the reaction of getting a bred female, I think you are bracing yourself for the worst every time you post. It doesn't matter if you get positive reinforcement from several members, one slightly negative or misconstrued comment, and we are all assholes. The post about being in the wrong place and being confused about this being a site about Chows reinforces that one must carefully word one's response or your feelings get hurt again. Me, I'll say what ever is on my mind. I try and show respect, and know that I have to give it to get it. Will people post things you don't like? Yep. Should you take it as a personal affront? No. Nw get a little thicker skin, and stop worrying about feeling welcome and fitting in. You already are welcome and do fit in, just by virtue of being owned by 3 Chows. Jackie didn't lie, we are good peeps.

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:59 pm

I don't understand what u mean by getting a bred female? Because she has had a litter before? She's not pregnant which what I think ev1 thinks

I posted on fb same thing about advice and Jackie's sister who is a vet tech told me just in a few weeks Zahra be putting weight on it which is good news
I just wanted well wishes and understanding

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Chowmomma
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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:07 pm

Have u gotten any of my pm's?
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Re: So sad

Postby Auddymay » Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:45 pm

To clarify, we all know she is not bred. What I was referring to is that you had intended to get her bred, and a good many of the membership were concerned, which started you thinking we were mean and did not like you. That was not the case, but we hurt your feelings and insulted your Chow integrity. In any case, you should know that like any family, we sometimes disagree, but we try to keep it civil.

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:02 pm

That was my choice not to, my Zahra comes first and it be to much right now with everything going on

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:16 pm

ImageAnd yes, my feelings were very hurt because my impression was that majority of you considered me a bad pet owner and I pride myself on my critters and how well I take care of them despite my health issues

I wanted to feel welcome and I didn't :(

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Cam Atis
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Re: So sad

Postby Cam Atis » Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:49 pm

Hi Chowmomma, I have been busy this past couple of days. Sorry I did not post here before as I do not have an experience with hip surgery, ever! You are most welcome here, and Rio has suggested something that has been right didn't she?
We are all praying for Zarah's surgery to be a success. A loud "bow-wow" from Cassie to Zarah as encouragement for both of you. Sorry I could not help as I really don't have a previous experience and I don't want to give advice based solely on something I read or heard with regards to this case.

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Re: So sad

Postby Chowmomma » Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:08 am

The well wishes are so greatly appreciated! Just knowing me and Zahra have any support is helpful more than u know!


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