Enough is Enough

[Andria]

As a new member here, I am sure this post will draw much scrutiny from many veterans. That’s fine. I will not engage hostile, bitter posters by exaggerating a thread long beyond it’s lifespan…so here goes….Both sides….GROW UP!! If there’s any question whatsoever as to what this is referencing, then please disregard and consider yourself fortunate for not having to be drawn into such a calamity.
I am neither a Chow expert, nor am I a therapist…rather, I am here to learn as much as I can and gain the most insight into this breed as possible. Again, I refuse to take sides. I do not condone sugar coating and expectations of people feeling sorry for one another or themselves based on their current situations (although a little humanity is nice every now and then)….nor do I condone petty, biting remarks that hit below the belt. As stated, I am not an expert on Chows, but I do have many, many years of experience in dealing with humans and what kind of behavior is acceptable in society. I find it ironic that some people treat their Chows with more respect than they treat their fellow humans…while all along knowing that the Chow is very dignified…so much so that if they could speak our language, they would say that this behavior is anything but dignified and Shame On You. If someone feels mistreated and wants to migrate to another site’s forum, then go ahead. If “lifers” here want to weed out and test members with their experienced words of wisdom (no matter how harsh) then go ahead. As for me, my skin is thick-I expect no sugar coating-I will give it right back (if constructive)...and I will not be run off by the lack of “feel good sentiment” I seek answers, advice, knowledge, best practices, information sharing…all of that. That’s why we come here…you cannot read in a textbook the real life scenarios that we delve into here each day. PLEASE, keep it moving and constructive. All communication styles are different, but to keep clogging up this forum with personal back biting is counter-productive. The knowledge base here is astronomical and we would be remiss not to tap into that. As I said, I’m not going anywhere despite the backlash I may receive… because despite anyone’s personal feelings, I still have much to learn about my Chowbaby.

[Sarahloo]

(although a little humanity is nice every now and then)

You know what I am sick of? Of snide little comments like this one! And of posters asking other posters to "grow up"!

I don't understand why you felt the need to post this, and in an extra-thread too! Where there are people, there are arguments! People clash, so what? There are a million opinions on everything out there, and that is great! No need to tell anyone to keep theirs to themselves!

Chow owners are very opinionated, strong-willed, stubborn folk (weird, huh? kind of like Chows ). Given this fact, I think we all get along pretty well!This forum isn't extreme in any way. I hate it when people make it look that way!!! Lots of helpful people with strong opinions of their own. Just like it should be. I wouldn't want to be anywhere where people are just sycophants. Personally, I can't stand forums like that!

To get a little philosophical, since I'm already talking: I don't know if it's my being German, but I don't think you have to "understand" everything! If somebody wants to bring puppies into this world before she has repaired her darling dog's injured hip, then I don't think we have to understand that. I know that most people here would rather starve and sell everything they own than let their dog suffer while they fantisize about breeding more dogs! I love everyone here for it and commend them for not understanding! Sometimes you have to tell it like it is, and hope for a rational reception of your comment!

[Chowmomma]

See the story not even close to the REAL story, just ask...I'll tell it...

Im not breeding puppies, at all EVER

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Cam Atis]

@Chowmomma: Ok, What's the real story? Please refresh us.
@Andrea: You don't have to do this. If you observed and stayed longer before you let out, you'll notice there are people here who are rational, civil, patient and not remiss with kind words. Then there are those who prefer to keep quiet, silently reading but sometimes they break their silence so you'll know they were there. Then there are some here who borders on being mean and sometimes throws their attitude in your face. I love those members who are really knowledgeable and patient to the recurring questions. I have been dealt with what someone here labeled as bullying or mean. I only realized that my line of questioning have been misunderstood and some went ballistic over it. Then there's culture.
I can relate to others. While couldnt relate to some. But by being wide open for others which means broad knowledge which translates to broad mindedness. I dismiss people who have violent reactions as not well read.

[Chowmomma]

OK what are u asking me when u say real story?

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Chowmomma]

Im not breeding puppies for one, secondly my dog is getting veterinary care....my friend who just happens to be the breeder of one of my chows has offered me a gift....seeing the things I've been through past few months is trying to cheer me up.

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Rio]

I wasn't aware there were 'sides'. I thought we all had opinions and shared them. But what do I know!!!! Anywho, Chowmomma knows my stance and we have apologized to each other so as far as I am concerned,Game Over.

[Chowmomma]

(Shakes hand)

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Fozzbear]

Oh dear ... for what it is worth, in my humble opinion, a forum like this is for an exchange of thoughts, ideas and experiences. I think that it is fine for people to express whatever is on their mind as long as it is done in a respectful manner. I'm sorry that Chowmomma obviously felt bullied /'slammed from all sides' but think that the opinios expressed were valid, meant well and were not inappropriate (sorry but I also thought that it seemed irresponsible for someone to consider puppies when they were struggling with the cost of vets bills for a pre-existing pet and considered writing a post to that effect but decided to keep my thoughts to myself). It would be a very dull and hardly constructive if people only ever agreed with each other. Everyone here has chow best interests at heart.
Glad that everybody is friendly now and hope that people continue to share their views as I find this forum very helpful as a first-time chow parent.

[Auddymay]

Well Andria, for a member so new, you seem to have a good fix on the way of things. Part of the problem with interpersonal communication here is the medium by which it's delivered. For example, Sarahloo thought you made a snide comment, while I thought it just a valid point. It is very easy to read into things on the internet, and to misinterpret the intent of a poster. The bottom line is we are here for the welfare of the Chow and the education of the owners, when possible. It is frustrating sometimes, but in the end we get to where we should be. Trust me, as someone who has offended more than my fair share of members, this is not the last time we will be visiting this subject. A thick skin and not taking everything to heart is the best attitude.

[Chowmomma]

The point being that my accepting a gift at some point changes nothing with the fact that Zahra needs and IS getting care. If these were real children and I was pregnant would I then forget about my older child that needs medical care? No of course not, does it mean I should not have my new baby? No it means you take care of both! I've had as many as 4 chows at a time and they all got care. Up until a few weeks ago I had 3 till I had to make that awful choice to put her down. I don't think I've ever had just one chow in my home so I just don't get what all the fuss is about? Cause I asked for donations? And am getting another chow at same time? That's being GIVEN to me

Anyone from this site who gave will kindly receive their payment back

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Auddymay]

Chowmomma...chillax. While your thread may have prompted this thread, it is not all about you. Your analogy also is incorrect. In it, you would be contemplating pergnancy, but I digress. This is about everyone's attitude, not just yours.

[Chowmomma]

My dog is not pregnant nor never will be

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Auddymay]

That's great. We advocate spay and neutering here. Always good to have others of that thinking here.

[Chowmomma]

I had wanted to breed her just once...her health comes first that's why im so aggravated because im not this horrible chow owner y'all making me out to be

Sent from me, Chowmomma

[Andria]

I did not and would not ask people to keep their opinions to themselves (as long as it’s relevant to the platform…this is a forum concerning Chows and all that it implies). Do not make the excuse that you are a Chow owner and that entitles you to be opinionated…that’s about as sane as saying it’s okay to dislike you because I’m an Irish Catholic (dear German)…ludicrous! Ya know what? Everyone IS opinionated concerning one thing or another. Hoping for a rational comment??? Well, I’m suggesting that accusations of mental incapacity draw a line. Trust me…I do not give a flip about opinionated and “in your face” posters….I, myself am accused daily of being harsh, deliberate and critical (even heartless  imagine that) but my career requires that I am fair, just and consistent…which I know can equate to being insensitive in certain people’s eyes…HOWEVER I merely stated that we should be constructive here…it behooves us all. I Love all (well almost all) the threads because there is something to draw from each one. Personal stories, past and present experiences, advice from long time members and Chow owners, fresh views from “a new set of eyes” of new members…They all add value…as I said…I’m not siding with anyone…if someone chooses to leave because of hurt feelings…that’s their decision…if others choose to bully, then hopefully they’re not sleeping well at night….as for me…I could care less and I never hold a grudge. People’s opinions are what makes them unique, and at the end of the day it’s what makes them valuable to society.
Whomever agrees or disagrees with me, thank you for speaking up and expressing the thought…like I said…I do not want to contribute to clogging up the forum with meaningless banter…every day I wake up is a new opportunity to do something good and right…I do not and never will hold ill feelings for anyone that has something constructive to say. With that, I will say that I truly adore the members here and relish in the diversity of this forum…and for anyone that wishes to use my “newness” to this forum against me…sell it somewhere else…I have plenty of years invested in being on this earth and have yet to be surprised by people’s comments and opinions. I am not going anywhere…I still have too much to digest here and my new Chowbaby deserves the best I can offer…and the knowledge and best practice sharing that comes from sites such as this is what he deserves

[Andria]

It is very easy to read into things on the internet, and to misinterpret the intent of a poster. The bottom line is we are here for the welfare of the Chow and the education of the owners, when possible. It is frustrating sometimes, but in the end we get to where we should be. Trust me, as someone who has offended more than my fair share of members, this is not the last time we will be visiting this subject. A thick skin and not taking everything to heart is the best attitude.

Absolutely...and I know because i "offend" daily...but to each day is a new perspective so hopefully we can all politely agree to disagree and debate on behalf of whats best for our Chows without getting personally hostile

[Rory's Dad]

I agree. Postings can certainly be misinterpreted. Sometimes. Forums, by their nature, lack any intonation. Sarcasm can be missed completely or overly emotionalized. Please do not read that as a criticism, because i definitely can write with sarcasm or attempts at humor that have not always been taken well.

Because the forum is what it is, i have decided to moderate my more reactionary responses. If you need advice, i can give what i know from my own experiences. Providing opinions on what or whom is suitable simply isnt productive (and i am guilty of this as well), and i am no longer willing to participate in this type of 'take sides' type of issues.

I have my own dog. I decide what is best for it and for my family. If i dont know something, i will ask, and will appreciate the knowledge that others have.

[Andria]

Yes, knowledge sharing is crucial, and by delivering the knowledge and experience constructively, that will ensure this sites increased participation-resulting in owners doing right by their Chows. If people feel intimidated and bashed, the one who will eventually suffer the most is the Chow, because the owner cannot comfortably reach out for the advice they are seeking to do right by them