New owner of old Chow Chow

[Elani Botha]

I was the owner of a new chow puppy for two years, six years ago. Unfortunately I got divorced and my husband kept my chow, detail unimportant but I was very sad and I wanted to keep her with me. He refused.

I was requested last week to take her back or she will be put down because he has a child now and apparently she is getting agitated with the child so she was delivered to me last night.

Since last night she just sat at the gate, does not want to eat or drink and this morning she is running away from me, but is sort of friendly to other people. It is clear that she is running away form me and looks scared. I do not know what to do. She was very friendly when I was her owner years ago and I absolutely loved her and she knew that. It doesn’t look like she recognises me.

I just need to make her at home with me and to take her sadness away and need tips please.

[Sarahloo]

Give her time!!! She just lost her home. Things will go back to the way they were, I promise you! Don't ask too much, talk to her in a loving voice and feed her her favourite food and treats. Let her keep her distance, she'll come to you in no time at all!

You ex did not deserve her, threatening to have her killed if you didn't take her back. I'm sure this will be a belated happy ending for the both of you!

Would love to see pictures!!!

[Sirchow]

I would suggest you make her a safe place like a crate with a blanket partially over it and let her retreat and take stock...I dont think it is you she is reacting to it is the lack of her loved owner who she as lived with for six years. I can understand how hurt you must be that you loved and cared for her and now she doesn't want to know but she is grieving for her lost home at the moment. Hard though it is the best thing you can do for her is to leave her to come to terms with it and give her time. If you sit on the floor with your back to her and keep very still with your face avverted from her she will eventually come to you hold some treats so she can take them but dont offer them. Let her do all the running and only move when she goes away. Slowly she will grow to trust You. It is so hard for you when you have your baby back but I think given lots of time and patience she will learn to love you again.

[chowpups]

Ditto on what Siriol said about getting on the floor with treats and don't offer the treats let her come and seek them out of your hand. Or even just sit in a chair and relax with her around and dangle the hand down with treats let her sniff them out make sure they are really good treats that will entice her. and slowly let her have them the slower the better she will feel more confident that you are okay with her..There may have been some type of conflict with your ex's wife to make her feel indifferent to women. Take it slow and relax, Iam sure she will come around again. Confidence and calming and time and, you'll get her to come around.

[reddog]

I agree with Saralou, Sirchow, and chowpups. Give her some time as she just arrived last night. She needs time to adjust to you, her new home, surroundings and eventually new routines. Her world has been turned upside down as yours was when you went through your divorce.

Time, love, and patience are what she needs most from you right now. I know this as a fact. I rescued a 7 year old female chow last December. Her name is Whitby.

Sending you a big hug and wishing you my best.

Take care
Pam

[SirDooFuss]

Such stories make me ashamed to be a male of our species.
When we got our chowpup Shelly many years ago we were told she had been abused and did not like men. I gave her space but she didn't seem to mind that I fed and walked her. I was soon her favorite and still am. She is also the sweetest dog I have ever had.
Your chowgirl is not a puppy anymore, but give her space and time and she will trust you and give you that fierce loyalty that makes owning(?) a chow so special.

[Judy Fox]

Iam so sorry and cannot add anything to what the others have posted.
All I can say is to add - give her time. Just carry on loving her and talking to her. Keep saying her name and don't push yourself on her. She will come round to you but don't get upset yourself - remain positive as if you get upset she will probably pick up on it.
It is going to be a sad time for her but you will both come through it I am sure. Get some of the nice bits that she likes - chicken, tuna, cheese or whatever and coax her but most of all don't get upset.
Keep saying her name and any pet name you used to have for her when she was young.

[lstabler]

I agree with the good advice above. It worked for us after my mother-in-law died and her 7 yr. old chow "adopted" us. At first she would only bark at us and back away if we tried to approach her. I was advised to try to mimick some familiar patterns so I sat in my MIL's chair, eyes averted, hand out, with chicken nuggets, and slowly Angel came to take them out of my hand. Angel was afraid of men, but she has come to love my husband too. At first she trusted only me, and other females. So, the comment about a conflict with the new wife might be right. Also, as your chow grieves the loss of her home and owners, she will be needy and will want to attach to a new person in time. Good luck, I know your baby will remember you in time. We've only be at this for 3 weeks and already there is vast improvement.

[Cocoa]

I agree with what the others have posted, it's going to take some time for her to adjust to the changes in her life. It's a big change for her, her whole world has been turned upside down, once she realizes that this is now home and she's not going to get shifted again she'll come around. Just be patient with her, good luck.

[Rio]

As a new Chow owner, I can only agree with everyone above. Patience, patience and more patience. Wishing you the best of luck, and I am sure you will be inseparable in no time.

[Rory's Dad]

Absolutely, she is a bit confused. The home she knew and loved isnt really there anymore for her, and she has no idea why. Her 'people' arent there, and she has new people around her. She will remember you from her early days, it just takes a bit of time. Chows have a long memory, but are so loyal. She needs to understand that you will be her provider and companion. Once she realizes who is providing her food and positive attention, it will hit home. She may still look for the ex, but she will come around.

[Elani Botha]

Thank you so much for all the advice, just what I was looking for.

I’m glad to say that Mischa found her safe spot in my garage and she finally laid down on the blanket I left there. I can see she feels safe there. She doesn’t run away every time now and she is wiggling her tail a bit, not too much but it is a great improvement. Hopefully soon she will realise there is actually a garden and a whole house to explore instead of sleeping in a cold garage. But I can see a little improvement every day.

She is still very sad and off course it brakes me to see her so sad but you all gave me lots and lots of hope. Luckily I love her very much and I will keep calm and do all the above. At least now I know how to treat the situation and will keep you posted.

Once again thank you all for the advice. Proves that Chow people are special people. 

A photo is on the way.

[Rio]

Glad to hear even if the safe place is not exactly ideal (in your eyes) Mischa seems to be perfectly happy with it at the moment. I am sure once she realises that there is a warm comfortable house with many a comfy safe spot to be had she will come around to a more mutually acceptable space to call her own.

Can't wait to see a photo of your girl.

[chowpups]

Good news.. Don't worry about where she sleeps our chow pup kept going to the back door and laying down on the cold tile floor ( Feb very cold here )when she first arrived and never seemed to want to join us in the family room the breeder said once she feels she okay where she is she'll be fine and a little later on we couldn't move with out her being up our you know what's!!! But it took some time to adjust her old surroundings so Iam sure yours will be doing the same..

[Judy Fox]

So glad it she has started to settle. It will take time and lots of patience and the love you already have for her.
As I said before, please don't get stressed and sad she will pick up on it.
We have two young girls who are nearly three. Matilda we got when she was 8 weeks old and Maisie her litter sister when they were 5 months old. Maisie was very sad and hated my husband. She growled every time he moved and ran to me. He just ignored her and made no overtures at all and it took 3 weeks for her to go and have a look at him. Now she loves him so much and he does her.
Sounds like your girly is sorting it all out in her own mind, bless her.
Look forward to seeing her pictures.
Just keep talking to her and saying her name.

[Cocoa]

Chowpups wrote:

our chow pup kept going to the back door and laying down on the cold tile floor

With Cocoa it was under the kitchen table for first couple of weeks before she started wanting to be everywhere I was. She still likes to sleep on the tile floor as long as she knows where I am.

Judy Fox wrote:

Maisie was very sad and hated my husband.

That reminded me, for about two to three weeks after I brought Cocoa home (eight weeks old) she wouldn't let my son go anywhere near her (he was living at home at the time and has since moved out) but once she decided he was okay he quickly became her favorite person and she wiggles her whole bum and gives him big hugs whenever he comes over.

I guess the lesson is it just takes time but once they accept you you will never have a more loving and loyal friend. Just be patient.

[Judy Fox]

Yes indeed - just be patient.

Say her name to her whenever you see her and smile at her.
Chows recognise smiles.
My girls always twitch their tails when I smile at them.
Bless your little girl.

[Cam Atis]

First my kind words: be patient and she'll come around. She must remember you but if she didnt probably she have forgotten you but she'll remember soon enough. Congratulations that you have been reunited with her.
Now my harsh words: your (expletive) ex-husband deserves to be hung upside down for 2 hours to meditate. He kept the dog, and now that he procreated he is giving away the dog? I wont be surprised if later he procreated again with another woman and he'll give away the child to its mother because he have a new one and te mother doesnt tolerate the first child. Pathetic selfish fellow.