Nightmare of the second night...

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:52 pm

Alexis (who is my boyfriend) and I bought an apartment in Paris.
Some refurbishing needs to be done and we will be abble to move in 2
or 3 weeks.
For the moment, we're living at his parents place because they've been
out of town for quite some time.
They never had an animal, don't know about Coco yet, and we don't
want the little puppy to chew on everything or pee on their carpet, so
when she's unsupervised, she stay in the kitchen. We bought a baby
gate so we can check on her and leave the door open.

We took Coco home Wednesday evening.
Everything has been fine.
She had a good night sleep on the kitchen floor.
Thursday has really been our first day together and it's been great. She
learns fast and she's very affectionate.

Then...
Thursday night, she didn't want to stay alone in the kitchen anymore.
She started to make sad noises and some kind of barking.
I didn't come to see her as I thought it would stop later.
But she was so desperate that she pushed, and pushed, and threw the
baby gate away!

We put back the baby gate differently. We put her back in the kitchen.
She made noises again.
Same thing, she threw it away.
Baby gate is useless with baby chow!

We put her back in the kitchen but this time we had to close the door
cause no more baby gate to keep her inside.
And then, that's when she started to make those noises like you are
slicing the throat of a pig, you have no idea...
And again, and again, and banging on the door, like there is a monster
inside that wants to eat her, screaming and screaming, desperate,
so desperate....

I waiting as long as I could but she never calmed down, I was affraid she
does a heart attack or something, and yes, I went to see her.
I don't know if I was supposed to or not but I had to, for the neighbors
sake, but for mine as well, it was so horrible, all that drama made me
think she was in total pain, it was horrible.

When I arrived, it was a relief, she calmed down and slept a bit, then I
left her with the light on.
It was 1 AM.

Then she started again a 4:30 AM.
This time I opened the door and had to just let her free.
She came to our room and slept just in front of our open door, she
didn't stay inside our room, she just lay down before it, she could see
us, she was finally happy.

I love my baby chow very much.
This night has been a total nightmare for all of us.

I get she has separation anxiety.
My question is why now?
1)Why the first night has been fine?

(My 2nd question would be how do I battle this anxiety, but I'll just
spend the day readind the archives I guess.....)

3) Do you think we did good taking her with us?
I know she "won", but come on, she is just a baby, right?

Post by **Auddymay** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 12:50 am

Lily slept in her crate, but we were in the same room. This is all very new to CoCo. If you crate her in the room you are in, you keep her safe, and the house protected from her.

Jeff&Peks · Post by **Jeff&Peks** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:20 am

Forget the dog books, you treat and train the way you want, There is no suppose to's or who won the battle, Its a puppy. New Sorroundings, No one around, Locked in the kitchan alone, no one there when he wakes up. = Scared puppy Chow. as in baby left alone.

Quit thinking dog, think Chow puppy. Would it upset the Eco system if you put a blanket down in your room or go buy a crate and keep him in the room with you at least untill he gets use to the sorroundings and knows you havn't taken off off and left him in a strage place alone.

JH · Post by JH » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:32 am

She is used to being with her mother and litter, so getting her used to sleeping or being apart from you is going to take some time. Coco is very young still, so she is very much still a baby. The first night is not a good indicator as to how she is going to do since the process of being brought away from her den to a new home is very stressful and exhausting. Many times, the first night you bring home a new puppy is the worst. Our puppy never cried or panicked, but we had him sleeping on a bed in our bedroom from the first night. He would get slightly agitated when we put him outside by himself, so we have been slowly getting him adjusted to that by extending his alone time.

What do you plan on doing with Coco when she is an adult? If she is going to be an indoor dog, and have a lot of access to you (free run of the house/sleeping in your room, etc.), then you can start crating her in the bedroom with you now and that should take care of the problem. If you are planning on her being alone more often, or sleeping in another room by herself, then you can start the crating in your bedroom, and slowly move her further and further away over the course of several days or weeks. She will adjust to it eventually--don't give up!

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:42 am

Thanks for the comments.

Auddymay,
I don't have a crate because I fell like I would be putting my baby in a cage... I know it might sound stupid, but it's just the way I feel, I am not comfortable with crates at all... I knew it's been helpful to a lot of you though.
I thought alone in a big room was better than in our room in a cage.
Mmmmh, that was dumb of us.

Jeff,
putting a blanket in the bedroom is what I've finally done last night. But she's not into dog bed and blankets, she was more comfy on the carpet! Anyway, it will stay that way from now on, no more alone in the kitchen at night.

JH,
like the others, you're right: we made a mistake, we should have kept her with us, I regret so much and I hope she will forget all about it soon.
About her future life as an adult:
she is going to be an indoor dog, a family pet, probably the friend I'll spend most of my time with.

She will be free in the apartment later, and for now, we keep her in the room with us at night.

She's an angel today.
I hope she still likes me...

Judy Fox · Post by **Judy Fox** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:46 am

Oh she will like you - she just got lonely and wanted to be with you.
We took Milly into our bedroom with us the first night and she and Mabel sleep in our room every night.
As Jeff said, don't take too much notice of what the trainers say.
My belief is - you are the Mummy person - you decide how things are going to be and you then set about dealing with it your way.
She won't be a baby chow for very long and she will soon learn what you find acceptable and what you will not tolerate.
Be firm with her - but kind - set up in your own mind what you intend to accept i.e. you won't accept her biting hands, or chewing furniture or whatever and make sure she understands what you expect.
She will be very intelligent and will soon learn.

Sojourner11 · Post by **Sojourner11** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:36 am

The first night I got the pup pictured below, I put him on a blanket next to my bed. He soon began to cry out and I lowered my arm to the floor to pet him and give him some re-assurances that it was okay and not to be afraid, but as soon as I lifted my arm he began to cry again. So I scooped him up, placed him next to me and he slept in that same spot(for the most part) for the next 14+ years. It was a decision I would never regret, and now that he is gone it is one of the things I miss the most.

Rowlee · Post by **Rowlee** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:21 pm

Wilbur has slept in our bedroom from day one, as our previous chow Rowlee did for the 13 years! As Jeff said if you want her to be an indoor dog then let her sleep with you in your bedroom.
Sabina

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:20 pm

We were really affraid that she could pee on the carpet at night...

But she never had an accident in the house and after last night screams, she will just stay with us from now on.

I love her so much, she's so cute and fluffy, if it was just me, she would sleep on my bed!!
But Alexis never had an animal before (except a chameleon when he was a kid

), and didn't want to let her sleep in the room.

I am happy that she now will.

Larry Harris · Post by **Larry Harris** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:36 pm

I don't have a crate because I feel like I would be putting my baby in a cage

She is so beautiful!

We used to think the crates were a bad thing. Not any more, we start all of our chows off in the crate and let them decide when the door can be left open all the time. When they can make the night and hold their bladder and not chew the house up they earn the open door.

They all start off in a crate in our bedroom to be near us. As they grow they then move out to the family where all the other crates are. In the family room for those that can be trusted over night their doors are left open.

Almost all of them will spend the night in their open crate. It gives them a safe place to go and they really like it. Some will move between our room and the crate. And yes some sleep in bed with us. I sometimes wish Riley (114 pounds) would sleep on the floor

Ai Shu spent his first 3 months in our bedroom. Now on his own when we go to bed he heads out to the family room. Somethings in the crate sometimes not.

Larry

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:14 am

Just wanted to let you know that we had a 3rd great night.
The 3 of us together in the bedroom.

Crisis is over!!

Judy Fox · Post by **Judy Fox** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:48 am

Brilliant - carry on loving her, she is so sweet.

JH · Post by JH » Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:16 am

Problem solved! Just be vigilant about letting her out to pee regularly and you won't have any accidents. You'll be much happier in the long run to have her in the bedroom anyway. My wife loved to have our first chow sleep in the room with us. After he passed away, she was so sad not to have her boy in there since she has terrible insomnia, and it was a comfort for her to look down and see him when she was lying there trying to sleep. Our 11 year old female never really liked to be in our room since she wasn't used it. So with our new pup, I made sure we started out with him sleeping on her side of the room from day one. Now he is her constant shadow which makes her very happy.

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 3:42 pm

My boyfriend will be out of town for 3 days next week.
Do you think I can put her on the bed with me at night for those nights or is it a bad idea?
The thing is when the boyfriend will come back home, she will have to be back on her blanket on the floor in the bedroon at night. There is no way he will let her spend the night on the bed.

Thanks for any advice!

Rowlee · Post by **Rowlee** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 4:19 pm

Elodie

If she's not going to be allowed to sleep on the bed when he's home, then I'd say no don't let her sleep on the bed with you.

Jeff&Peks · Post by **Jeff&Peks** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 4:28 pm

Rowlee wrote:Elodie

If she's not going to be allowed to sleep on the bed when he's home, then I'd say no don't let her sleep on the bed with you.

I agree, keep her on the floor no matter how tempting it gets. Once she hits the bed and not allowed anymore the kitchen ordeal will be nothing.

There is a Scrapbook picture of CoCo Auddymay made for you at: http://chowchow.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7936 Scroll down to the bottom.

Layla · Post by **Layla** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:15 pm

Ahhh, Coco is very bonded to you & wants to be with you! What a loving girl she is

All our chows have slept with us & I just LOVE trying not to trip over Alf in the night

We did the kitchen thing with a baby gate at night for Millie & gave up as she hated it. We crate trained Alf & Millie but both now choose to sleep in them at night (as you saw in my 'we want to be together' picture thread!)

Incidently, it's very handy to have them crate trained if you plan to travel with Coco. Chow are VERY active guards in hotels & NOBODY got any sleep the time I forgot Miss Millie's crate

Now we have collapsable ones to take with us

JH · Post by JH » Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:45 pm

I would agree that letting her sleep with you if it is not going to be a permanent thing is like letting the camel get its head in the tent.

I have also never allowed my dogs up on the furniture or the bed, but my wife really likes to have the puppy up on the sofa next to her to pet him. One thing that I've done so that she can enjoy him up there is to put a special towel/blanket on the couch that we only use when she is petting him. He isn't allowed to jump up there by himself, we always lift him up and put him on the blanket. We lift him down when she is finished and remove the blanket and put it away so that he associates it with a special event. Even if you use a similar system, I still wouldn't do it for any extended length of time, (like when you are sleeping) since it will just cause confusion when she has to go back to the floor.

The new pictures of her are really cute.

Roxana · Post by **Roxana** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:00 am

JH wrote:Problem solved! Just be vigilant about letting her out to pee regularly and you won't have any accidents. You'll be much happier in the long run to have her in the bedroom anyway. My wife loved to have our first chow sleep in the room with us. After he passed away, she was so sad not to have her boy in there since she has terrible insomnia, and it was a comfort for her to look down and see him when she was lying there trying to sleep. Our 11 year old female never really liked to be in our room since she wasn't used it. So with our new pup, I made sure we started out with him sleeping on her side of the room from day one. Now he is her constant shadow which makes her very happy.

I don't have any further advice to add, I just wanted to say; what a sweet and thoughtful husband you are JH!

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:12 am

Actually, my boyfriend took us with him on his business trip.
I won't be tempted to take Coco on the bed with me at night as I won't be by myself with her for a few days...

But when it will happen in the future, I'll be a good girl and keep my chow on her blanket!

Thank you all!

puddinglove · Post by **puddinglove** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:23 pm

Coco is just beautiful. Thank you for posting pics, we love them!!

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:29 pm

Oh your Coco is an adorable, cutie patootie.

Funny, when I got Mia, I put her in the bathroom with a baby gate so she could see me. I wanted to get some plastic to put under my sheet so I could put her in bed with me. When I finally did, she didn't want to sleep on the bed with me. She wanted her tiled bathroom.

So months later, she finally settles for sleeping on the bed, because she knows mommy loves it, but deep down, I think that she is yearning for the nice tile floor.

Since then, she has broken down the baby gate and we now have her crate there. Now she would rather the crate.

I guess what I am saying is that they get so used to one thing that you really have to think carefully about where you want to keep her. (Or, maybe that's just my stubborn Mia.)

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:29 pm

Oh your Coco is an adorable, cutie patootie.

Funny, when I got Mia, I put her in the bathroom with a baby gate so she could see me. I wanted to get some plastic to put under my sheet so I could put her in bed with me. When I finally did, she didn't want to sleep on the bed with me. She wanted her tiled bathroom.

So months later, she finally settles for sleeping on the bed, because she knows mommy loves it, but deep down, I think that she is yearning for the nice tile floor.

Since then, she has broken down the baby gate and we now have her crate there. Now she would rather the crate.

I guess what I am saying is that they get so used to one thing that you really have to think carefully about where you want to keep her. (Or, maybe that's just my stubborn Mia.)