Our Chow Mix thinks I'm HIS girlfriend...
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Our Chow Mix thinks I'm HIS girlfriend...
Hello All,
My boyfriend and I recently moved in together with our chow retriever mix, Wyly (Welsh spelling of "Willie"). He's a rescue animal, but extremely friendly with people and other dogs (when they aren't ringing the doorbell that is!) so they think he may have had an owner at some point. He is fixed. They estimate him to be about 6 yrs old but he's looked younger and younger the healthier he's gotten since we've been caring for him. He has a great personality and I adore him, but I have a question about the "hierarchy" of our household. He does acknowledge my boyfriend as an authority figure, although sometimes when in the middle of bad behavior his communication seems to shut down a bit and won't listen or look at either of us gesturing or commanding him.
The only time it becomes a real issue is when I kiss my boyfriend or hug him: Willie always trys to wedge himself between us or he will bark or whine. Is this normal behavior? Is there any way to get him to calm down and/or acknowledge both of us as his owners and in control of the situation? I love this dog and I want us to be a good family, without the jealous nervous energy! He definitely gets more excited around me. Is his excitement just an expression of my own nervous energy? I try to remain calm around him.
thanks!
wyly_mama
My boyfriend and I recently moved in together with our chow retriever mix, Wyly (Welsh spelling of "Willie"). He's a rescue animal, but extremely friendly with people and other dogs (when they aren't ringing the doorbell that is!) so they think he may have had an owner at some point. He is fixed. They estimate him to be about 6 yrs old but he's looked younger and younger the healthier he's gotten since we've been caring for him. He has a great personality and I adore him, but I have a question about the "hierarchy" of our household. He does acknowledge my boyfriend as an authority figure, although sometimes when in the middle of bad behavior his communication seems to shut down a bit and won't listen or look at either of us gesturing or commanding him.
The only time it becomes a real issue is when I kiss my boyfriend or hug him: Willie always trys to wedge himself between us or he will bark or whine. Is this normal behavior? Is there any way to get him to calm down and/or acknowledge both of us as his owners and in control of the situation? I love this dog and I want us to be a good family, without the jealous nervous energy! He definitely gets more excited around me. Is his excitement just an expression of my own nervous energy? I try to remain calm around him.
thanks!
wyly_mama
- Wyly
- wyly.jpg (3.6 KiB) Viewed 2863 times
Re: Our Chow Mix thinks I'm HIS girlfriend...
My Mister adores women alot more than men, we got him as a pup, he is now a little over a year old.
Mister will jump for joy when I come home but not for husband and he also listens to me alot more, but chows are stubborn when they want to be, thats why I adore the breed for the most part they are not people pleaser dogs, my Mister will come several times a day and jump in my lap and hug me with his front legs and we cuddle, he would never do that with any man. even at the vet, the girls are good to go that work at my vets office, but the vet comes in and Mister goes into protect mode, I still havent figured how to handle that one, he has had only good experience with men, my husband just laughs at the way Mister adores me. I know I didn't help much but I would guess their are others out thier that are like this.
Mister will jump for joy when I come home but not for husband and he also listens to me alot more, but chows are stubborn when they want to be, thats why I adore the breed for the most part they are not people pleaser dogs, my Mister will come several times a day and jump in my lap and hug me with his front legs and we cuddle, he would never do that with any man. even at the vet, the girls are good to go that work at my vets office, but the vet comes in and Mister goes into protect mode, I still havent figured how to handle that one, he has had only good experience with men, my husband just laughs at the way Mister adores me. I know I didn't help much but I would guess their are others out thier that are like this.
Re: Our Chow Mix thinks I'm HIS girlfriend...
Dogs don't hug and express emotion like humans do.
Your chow thinks you are another dog of course, and doesn't realize that you're a human, so it's very possible that he doesn't understand what you are doing or is relating it to negative, unwanted dog behaviour.
Normally when two dogs would be that physical, they'd be either playing or perhaps even fighting or posturing to establish ownership over an item or territory, etc..
With your permission, I'm just going to dissect your message a bit:
communication seems to shut down a bit and won't listen or look at either of us gesturing or commanding him.
- always, always, always set yourself up to win. You should never give a command or gesture if you are not in a position to enforce it.
Keep a lead on this dog for a few days and when he is in his "zone", you will be better armed to defer his attention and correct him. If you do this consistently, he will understand that he can't "blow " you off. Dogs are smart - they know when then can safely ignore a situation.
Willie always tries to wedge himself between us or he will bark or whine. Is this normal behavior?
- no it's not normal behaviour and it's highly not acceptable either.
Tell Willie "no" in no uncertain terms. Do not offer calm and positive energy, another dog certainly wouldn't. Another dog in your situation would protest Willie's presence.
If Willie does not want to adhere to your "no", take him, put him in his crate or behind a barrier in a "time out" situation. Make it clear that he gets to stay in the pack when he offers behaviour that is acceptable to the pack.
Basically it sounds to me like WIllie doesn't clearly understand what you're doing, but doesn't like it either and is trying to intervene with what he may be thinking is you fighting with your boyfriend. Willie should be avail himself to making those decisions for you. Put him in time out. I think that will help, especially if he can see you, but not interfere. Ultimately this way he will develop a comfort zone with what you are doing and not view it as some negative act. He will also develop more respect for your commands.
With rescues we often don't know the complete history and for all you know , maybe his previous owners did fight a lot, so he's developed mechanisms around that. It's never easy to tell, but at least don't let him do that.
( That's what I would do in your shoes)
Your chow thinks you are another dog of course, and doesn't realize that you're a human, so it's very possible that he doesn't understand what you are doing or is relating it to negative, unwanted dog behaviour.
Normally when two dogs would be that physical, they'd be either playing or perhaps even fighting or posturing to establish ownership over an item or territory, etc..
With your permission, I'm just going to dissect your message a bit:
communication seems to shut down a bit and won't listen or look at either of us gesturing or commanding him.
- always, always, always set yourself up to win. You should never give a command or gesture if you are not in a position to enforce it.
Keep a lead on this dog for a few days and when he is in his "zone", you will be better armed to defer his attention and correct him. If you do this consistently, he will understand that he can't "blow " you off. Dogs are smart - they know when then can safely ignore a situation.
Willie always tries to wedge himself between us or he will bark or whine. Is this normal behavior?
- no it's not normal behaviour and it's highly not acceptable either.
Tell Willie "no" in no uncertain terms. Do not offer calm and positive energy, another dog certainly wouldn't. Another dog in your situation would protest Willie's presence.
If Willie does not want to adhere to your "no", take him, put him in his crate or behind a barrier in a "time out" situation. Make it clear that he gets to stay in the pack when he offers behaviour that is acceptable to the pack.
Basically it sounds to me like WIllie doesn't clearly understand what you're doing, but doesn't like it either and is trying to intervene with what he may be thinking is you fighting with your boyfriend. Willie should be avail himself to making those decisions for you. Put him in time out. I think that will help, especially if he can see you, but not interfere. Ultimately this way he will develop a comfort zone with what you are doing and not view it as some negative act. He will also develop more respect for your commands.
With rescues we often don't know the complete history and for all you know , maybe his previous owners did fight a lot, so he's developed mechanisms around that. It's never easy to tell, but at least don't let him do that.
( That's what I would do in your shoes)
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Better Yet ! Adopt!
Re: Our Chow Mix thinks I'm HIS girlfriend...
Thank you so much Kam and Merlin for your responses. Merlin what you said about setting yourself up to win REALLY resonates with me. I definitely have much more success when I imagine the positive outcome of the training while I'm doing it instead of thinking, he's not going to listen, etc. I think a barrier might be a good idea too since he doesn't have a crate. This way if he's agitated we can separate him while allowing him to see what's happening while also knowing we're in charge of the situation. With a barrier he could see the visitor enter and become comfortable in the space before we allow him out to greet him/her.
Keeping him on a lead as we establish new rules in the apartment is great advice too: you're so right that he's smart enough to know when he can ignore me!
We have consistently kept him off of the bed and furniture in the past week and seen quite a change: I hope he's starting to learn that we are in charge. It's hard for me because I feel like I'm being "mean" to the dog but if he does see me as another dog, I do have to show him who's boss. I still am affectionate with him, but I make him obey the sit command before I pet him or fuss over him in any way!
And to Kam: yes it's true they seem to have an affinity for the ladies. He is definitely partial to them. I think he'll always get a little keyed up around women but I've got to do my best to keep that excitement in check.
THANKS!!
Keeping him on a lead as we establish new rules in the apartment is great advice too: you're so right that he's smart enough to know when he can ignore me!
We have consistently kept him off of the bed and furniture in the past week and seen quite a change: I hope he's starting to learn that we are in charge. It's hard for me because I feel like I'm being "mean" to the dog but if he does see me as another dog, I do have to show him who's boss. I still am affectionate with him, but I make him obey the sit command before I pet him or fuss over him in any way!
And to Kam: yes it's true they seem to have an affinity for the ladies. He is definitely partial to them. I think he'll always get a little keyed up around women but I've got to do my best to keep that excitement in check.
THANKS!!