no Christmas this year

jacqui · Post by **jacqui** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:50 am

I just cannot bring myself to celebrate Christmas this year.I still feel an overwhelming sadness at the loss of my Kito.I have lost other dogs before but I can't seem to stop thinking about him.it has been 5 months since he died.
I have Chyna and I adopted Kai,7 weeks after Kito died.
there is not a minute in the day that I don't think of Kito

has anyone else felt this way after losing a young chow?
I am having a difficult time with this because he was so young.
I would like to thank you all for being here,
jacqui

bubba · Post by **bubba** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:27 am

no ... i have never lost such a youngling , however i have had my share of losses ..

Christmas will come and go whether you celebrate or not..

i think you should keep Christmas in your heart at least, , maybe no cheerful jingle bells ..but at at least some memorable ,.soulful nights

a quite subdued Christmas , lots of looking into the dark winters night sky with the stars gleaming like frozen tears in the skie ..

walk with your dogs down to where there are those who have never learned the frailiy of life , or have forgotten it for a time .. listen to the joy , your face may feel like it will break with a smile and tears may well in your eyes ,,
but young chows are joyful creatures .. your lost young chow would want you to find some small joy in the mid winters season,, surely the favorite season of Chows..

in the frozen new england winters midnight , when all is still and the snow creaks under your feet listen ... listen ... can you hear the sound of the spirit chows in the air there who will come to comfort you ..
as you deserve

it might be a sound in the woods ,,, it might be a breath of air a sigh of strangely warm breeze in the night .. it might be a special sparkle in the sky..
Spirit Chows
happy and proud that a chow who stayed on earth such a short time struck a such a chord of love and loyality in you..

Chow Chow Mama · Post by **Chow Chow Mama** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:51 am

I lost Tucker in September (age 4) and I too am not in the Christmas spirit this year. I usually decorate my house and at work and I am not doing any of that this year. I am going through the motions but not getting any joy out of it. I have Holden, but there is a void without Tucker. I know that time heals all pain but so far for me it hasn't.

Jeff&Peks · Post by **Jeff&Peks** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:06 pm

I would think if you both put up Kito's and Tuckers Christmas stockings with their pictures on it and celebrated Christmas with them in spirit maybe put a few things in the stockings talk to them and include their spirit in the holidays along with your new Chows you all might feel better. Kito and Tucker looking down from the bridge what do you think they want to see, You two sad and crying or both of you happy and enjoying the holidays. Bring them out for the holidays and for one day (Christmas) enjoy the good times you had with them. Make this a Kito and Tucker Christmas.

Ok, that's my Holiday sermon for the year.

Judy Fox · Post by **Judy Fox** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:37 pm

Michael - Jeff -

- what thoughtful words from both of you.

I cannot add anything!

jacqui · Post by **jacqui** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:55 pm

michael,what you wrote brought tears to my eyes.yes Kito was very special.
jeff,I hope I can get some Christmas spirit.
chow chow mama,I know you lost your Tucker and I am so sorry.he was also a young boy.
judy,thank you.
last april my friend gave me a santa suit for Kito.I tried it on him.it was very cute.I never dreamed he would not live to see Christmas.I also bought him a winter coat he never got to wear.I got it for him because the dr.kept shaving his chest to do the echos on his heart.like most chows he loved the winter and I didn't want him to be cold.he didn't need it last year because it was warm for new england.I feel so sad looking at the coat and santa suit.
thank you for writing.I really appreciate it.

Jeff&Peks · Post by **Jeff&Peks** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:06 pm

opps, I said Kota I ment Kito, Sorry.

Larry Harris · Post by **Larry Harris** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:43 pm

Jacqui and Chow Chow Mama

Hold your Chowlings and family close to you and with them you can celebrate the life of your beloved Kito and Tucker. Yes they have passed the bridge before their time and you miss them dearly. They would want you to remember their time with you and not be sad. Just know they are waiting for your reunion across that rainbow bridge. The reason for the rainbow is it reminds us of the happiness on the other side!

They are no longer of this earth but will never truly be gone as they will always be in your heart. No one can take that piece of them or their memories away from you.

You are in our hearts and prayers,

Jacqui knowing your sadness and yet you sent your precious gift makes it very special to us and our Chowlings. You may think you are not ready for Christmas but your gift tells us maybe you are. We do not need lights and trees to know there is Love, Giving and Celebration in your heart.

Thank you,

Larry, Terrina Harris and Sassy, Duster, Mrs Marple, Naomi, Chelsea, Eldin and of course Scrappy Doo

Juniper · Post by **Juniper** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:11 pm

Each Xmas I think of the 6 cats and every other pet I had..other dog breeds & birds, some I had a very short time with and others a very long time. But all made a very special place of joy in my heart.

I bought special ornaments for each in brass and had their names etched in it or made a xmas ornament out of their favorite toy. It always makes me feel like they are with me, whenever the holidays come. I just bring out the ornaments and hang them on a string over the fireplace and place the xmas stockings there. Usually when I do that I feel their presence and joy comes into my heart. My other pets would break me out of my sorrow when I placed treats in the stockings for them to find and eat.

Be certain that Kito is ever present and in the short time he chose to share his life with you must mean you are really special as well. Whatever you do will be the right thing for you and your family of furkids Jacqui.

Thank you for sharing your loss. It reminds me of all those pets and wild birds that I have so loved and cared for. May this season bring fullness and joyful remembrance into your heart.

Layla · Post by **Layla** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:21 am

Ah Jacqui, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure how old my Milo was but I certianly know I didn't expect him not to be here for Christmas. I still have all his stuff & his tags are on my keys so he is near me. I have M&A, but Milo occupies a very sorrowful part of my heart.

((((hugs))))

Rowlee · Post by **Rowlee** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:05 pm

Jacqui

We didn't lose a young chow but we did lose our beautiful chowman, Rowlee, on August 23 this year. I know the pain you feel. We have Wilbur and we love him to pieces but I know what you are feeling. I am crying as I type this

I say if you don't feel like Celebrating Xmas this year, then don't. Yes, it's okay to still think about Kito all the time. I still think about Rowlee loads too. I have a star in the sky that I call Rowlee's star, I went out and named it the night he died. I often go outside and night and look up at it and talk to Rowlee.

I caught sight of Wilbur at puppy school the other night as he was playing with the other puppies and it took my breath away because he is now looking like a "mini Rowlee". He lays in the same spots inside on the floor and outside near the side gate that Rowlee used to.

Take care and be kind and gentle to yourself, allow yourself to grieve for as long as you feel you need to.

Sabina

jacqui · Post by **jacqui** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:05 pm

thank you all,
your kind words mean so much to me.I feel like you are the only ones who understand this feeling.
and Layla,you know I was so shocked when Milo passed.he always looked so healthy and happy in his pictures.
it seems there were so many losses this year for many of us.
you are all so caring.

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:44 pm

It's been so many years since I lost a pup or kitty, but I can certainly remember the pain.

Jeff and Michael - what wonderful comforting words - who knew you were both so sweet and mushy.

Jacqui, Rowlee and Layla - Jeff is right, hug those little chowlings you have now and show them a wonderful, warm, loving Christmas.

pfordeb · Post by **pfordeb** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:54 pm

I am so sorry for everyone's loss. Do what feels right at the holidays. This isn't dog, but both my father and best friend died right before Christmas. Holidays are still hard.

kiwani · Post by **kiwani** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:45 am

Spirit of winter rest, help us to enjoy your peace in this quiet place. Remind us to pause during this solstice season.

Grant us awareness, keep our gratitude fresh each day.

May our hearts be filled with blessings and insights to us and to others and may compassion always shine forth from the depths of our hearts, like a star.

Coco Chow · Post by **Coco Chow** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:04 am

This is such a heartbreaking post...

When that day, Layla, you wrote about what just happened to your Milo, I
couldn't help but cried in front of my computer, my boyfriend came home,
asked what was wrong, I told him that one of the chow here just passed
away, it was so sad... He said he understood but I'm sure he was thinking I
was in need of serious therapy.

Anyway, Coco send purple kisses to all of you.

Layla · Post by **Layla** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:59 pm

Thanks everyone. I was so shocked as well. I didn't even have time to process the diagnosis before Milo got so bad we had to let him go. It seemed so unfair & when I'm not sad about him I'm mad about loosing him. Neither are how I should remember him.

chow fancier · Post by **chow fancier** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:28 pm

All who have lost a chow, a companion, a friend:

You are all handling the grieving process in your own ways.
Take the time you need.
Remember your chowdren as the wonderful additions they were to your lives.
Memorialize them as seems fitting to you.

Don't allow anyone to trivialize your grief.
Don't worry because your feelings are strong or last long, or others think you should "get over it."
Only you know the depths of your feelings and they are perfectly normal and legimate.

I think of my furkids who left this world as looking over me and being pleased when I remember them with happiness, when I smile as I remember a goofy puppy moment, or a time when one of them comforted me.
They helped me find the chowdren physically with me now, because they want me to know the happiness I had with them, again here on earth.
They are present in the quiet hush before a snowstorm, in the beauty of a sunset, in the twinkle of a new chowlings eye.
They are part of the cycle of life, as we all are. And when my time comes, we will all meet again, young, happy and healthy.

Here is a poem I find comforting. I don't know the author.

Last Night

I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

jacqui · Post by **jacqui** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:35 am

jerilyn,
I love that poem and cry when ever I read it

I lost a 10 yr old boy,Tiko,a year before Kito and that loss was more natural to me because I had 10 unforgetable years with Tiko.he was always a mamas boy.just the love of my life.
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time 'moving on'after Kito.all I know is when he died so did a part of me.
all your words are very comforting because I know you all understand.
you are all very special ,thank you.

kiwani · Post by **kiwani** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:55 am

Re: "I don't know why I'm having such a hard time 'moving on'after Kito.all I know is when he died so did a part of me."

Young Kito represented your hopes for future happiness, and represented a new life unfolding. Many months ago, while he was still with you, your thoughts went towards the future, thinking about Christmas, being concerned about the cold and buying him a coat. When we are anxious, our minds spend more time thinking about the future.

Since Kito has passed on, and as Christmas nears with the cold weather already upon us, your mind is spending time living in the past, because of grief. When we feel depressed, our minds spend more time in the past.

When our thoughts are living in the present moment, we have access to the healing part of our mind and can feel the loving presence of those living in our heart. The present moment is where we feel communion with Spirit, where we feel Peace. You shut the healing and peaceful doors in your mind when your thoughts live in the past or the future, or when you've already decided that there will be no Christmas. Just be present in each moment, keep your heart and awareness open to inspiration and love, and you won't feel that part of you has died because you'll feel Kito's love.

Kito couldn't have been loved any more if he had lived till 20, because he already had all your love. He was one of the lucky ones to have had a loving home. *Each* day is a gift.

"the past is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present"

Peace to your Spirit
Love to your Heart

bubba · Post by **bubba** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:30 am

i did'nt mean to make you cry ...

i think jeffs plan a better warmer one than mine .. i only took you where i have been , out in the winters wind, it was worse when i went there alone and looked to to the bright lit happness of others lives .. now the chow goes along and puts his nose up to test the frigid winds of winter,

a friend in need is a friend indeed ...

in the rememberances section is there a collection of soothing poems ??
there should be , should this community put effort to it would not a grand selection be found ??

i searched first phrase " i stood by your bed last night"[37 hits] and found this site .. a collection of several poems .... go have a look if you want a good cry....

.

http://bcadoptapet.org/page11.htm

i think i have found and posted "I stood by your bed" before..
another i remember helping an unknown poster when CC.org was apparently abandoned code , a waif on the net was

""If it should be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.""

......

last stanza

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

~Anon~

here is just a few lines fromanother

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear Friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away.
Forever here, within your heart

And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend.
And in your memories I'll run
...a young dog once again.

~Karen Clouston~

another excerpt

More time will pass;
Sadness will not so much invade as menace,
And I will mark the days,
Saying things like,
"Last month, last summer, last Halloween, last year,"
You were here.

I dread that day,
One year from now,
~Jenine Stanley~

Christmas Without My Dog

The tree is all trimmed.
The gifts are all wrapped.
The hymns are all sung,
And the travel plans mapped.

And still there's a sadness
That lies in your heart,
For a dog that was lost
And a love now apart.

A stocking is missing,
With toys and a treat.
A lap is now empty,
A space at your feet.

Yet remember this season
God's small gift to you,
Wonderful memories
To treasure life through.

~Anonymous~

quite a collection there at

http://bcadoptapet.org/page11.htm

bond county adopt a pet
greenville ill

i'd read them all and try to decide which i like best but for some reason i can not see real good just now .. there seems to be some thing in my eye they do water so,,
its rainy and dreary here ,, wet and cold , i think i'll go with the dogs down by the river where the muddy water flows.. or over to indian creek where the calvery charged and the cannon fired ....
the veil is very thin there ..at times

michael

Dear Lord,
Please open your gates and call St. Francis to
come and escort this beloved companion

sit_by_the_beach · Post by **sit_by_the_beach** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:10 pm

The first christmas without our beloved chow, the first anniversary is always the saddest. Don't think about the holidays, keep busy. Things get easier as time goes by,
Karin

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:21 pm

Awww Jacqui I know how you feel. My Kody wasn't young like your Kito but this is my first xmas w/out him in 14 and a half years and it is downright depressing. I have two new pups to love and they do bring me joy and happiness but there was only one Kody and my heart aches for him every single day. I find myself crying alot again and he is just on my mind constantly. Tis the season for memories of what was I suppose. I keep it to myself mostly because like someone else said other people just don't get it. There is suppose to be some miraculous 'get over it' time frame that just doesn't exist. We will never get over it but I sure hope that it at least gets easier. I would like to cherish my memories of him someday rather then feel this awful grief and the way I still feel him being put to sleep in my arms. How I wish he had died peacefully in his sleep rather then me having to take him in and have it done. I don't know that I will ever find peace with that. It will haunt me til my dying day.
I send you understanding and hugs. Grieve in your own way and in your own time frame. Love your other babies and do with this xmas whatever feels right to you. Kito and Kody would not want us to be sad and our other babies need us. Hopefully we will meet Kito and Kody again one day.

sit_by_the_beach · Post by **sit_by_the_beach** » Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:30 pm

Everyone grieves in their own way. I lost friends in the last 3 years, both my parents in one year. My chow Luna last year, my ex husband this year. About two years ago I started buying scrap book stuff. I made one of my boyfriend, lots of photos. Did one of my parents and I am working on a Luna chow one at the moment. Looking at the scrap books makes me weep, at the same time it's part of the healing process.

Karin

Tippsy'smom · Post by **Tippsy'smom** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:56 pm

I know I lost Cinder a long time ago and when I was young on top of that... But I know the pain. Cinder had been my best friend for 2 years. I had grown up with him. And all of a sudden he was gone just like that...

The day it happened my mom sat me down and explained it to me... even though I may not have really understood then I still felt the heartbreak and I do know what you're going through. It's never easy but I hope you can find the Christmas spirit.

Jess