The story of Chica

[anita]

My Chica passed away in February of 2006. I miss her so much. I would like to introduce you all to her and tell you her story. Maybe she will touch your heart like she touched mine. I know people think we are crazy and excessive when we say a part of ourselves dies with our dogs, but a part of me did die with her, and sadly on the threshold of the new life I was starting. I always wanted her to be a part of it, but sadly it wasn't meant to be. I blame myself like I know so many of you others do. I wonder what I could have done differently or if I made too many changes too fast for her. She was eleven when she died. She was my sunshine. I could never get mad at her or scold her because she had had such a hard life. I think deep down she knew this and she wanted to be scolded sometimes, because whenever I came close, like when she would bully my other dogs sometimes, she would get all excited and look at me like, "Are you finally going to yell at me like you yell at the other dogs?" And she would smile real big tilt her head down and do this little stomping circle dance. But alas, I could not scold her. She was very petite, 35 to 40 pounds, and I would just end up smiling at her. I couldn't look at her without smiling. I use to say to her, "You know, you make my heart sing, don't you?" And she would wag her tail. (Even if she was sleeping and she heard her name her tail would wag, swish, swish, swish.) She did, she made my my heart sing. Symphonies played in my heart when I looked at her and I could not think of her without smiling. Now when I think of her it is painful. I hope one day I can smile again. Anyway, I will tell her story a little at a time, as I am able, but for now I will start with this introduction and a picture I drew of her the other night. I like to draw and paint pictures of my pets. This is my picture I call Chica in the Sun. I will never forget how she used to run in the sun.

[grim1900]

Anita--I know that a yr is not long enough to grieve a family member or long enough to stop hurting.I also know that you probably have reservations about getting another dog and that's wrong.I lost Bear 9 yrs ago and could not bring myself to get another for 2 yrs.If Isis had not been practically forced upon me by a very perceptive W.O. I would have spent even longer in a self inflicted funk.I can't tell you what he said to me exactly but the message without the colorful adjectives was "Take the puppy and give it the love you are now wasting.There was also an implied threat that I could be relocated to a less friendly enviroment.Not really his call but I did not test that threat.So I took the puppy and have not regretted it once.I have a painting of Bear on my wall.Saw your post,looked at my painting and here I am.I believe that we need to always have a dog around us for both our mental health and our security.And realizing that I could be in the same situation again I got another dog a couple of yrs later and another --- and another.Havn't forgotten Bear,just moved past the pain and Isis was the main reason and my cure.I hope you do more paintings and post them Anita.Its all good therapy.And if you havn't got another dog yet ....... I hope you soon will.

[anita]

That was the most awesome post. Thank you so much. I have seen your pictures in another forum and I was so touched by the little puppy in the snow. I actually do have three other dogs, and so I am very familiar with what it is like to get one, and then another, and then another, and then in my case, another! Sandy is a Collie mix, and he is now 14 yrs. Next came Mr. Chew, my black Chow, and he is now 13 yrs. Next came Chica, my gold Chow who was 11 when she passed on a year ago. Next came Gracie, a Chow/Beagle/Lab mix, who is now exactly 11 herself! I think (and I knew this all along, that one day I would be running a geriatric household for pets-I also have a seventeen year old cat), that having three old dogs makes me sit on pins and needles after losing Chica. I worry all the time about losing another. So much worrying is not good, I know, and I must concentrate on giving my pets all my love and not worrying about the future. I did actually mention a Chow puppy to my husband the other night, and besides a brief moment of silence where his jaw dropped where I could see he was thinking, "We don't have enough to take care of?" I could see he would go along with anything I wanted. Thank you for reminding me that they all still need my love, and that there are new beginnings around the corner.

These four dogs were such the meat of my life for so long. I was thirty when the first one came and now I am 44. It is hard to watch the chapters of our life go by, but I should concentrate on being thankful they have all lived so long and been healthy. I do pray for all of you that you have your pets for many years, healthy, safe and happy. May your Bear live in your heart forever. Please give your little Isis a hug for me. By the way, what is a W.O.? And where can I find pictures of your dogs?

Here is a picture of me, Sandy (deputy sheriff Sanj), Mr. Chew (Chief), and Gracie (Gracers Erasers), who's hard to see because she always likes to hide behind Mom's skirt, just like I used to when I was a kid. (Gracie and I are both shy. ) As you can see from the picture, Mr. Chew always has something better to do.

[anita]

Chica Looking Out the Window