This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Remember our beloved Chow Chows that have passed on.

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chowpups
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This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowpups »

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.. Someone sent me this from a poem ..
I swore when they told me Nikki had incurable cancer I vowed to not let her suffer if they just let her come home with me and let me keep her till she was ready.. She was only just 4yrs old and I knew there was more to life than just a good bye in the office that day. She was a trooper and a brave soul. She had a few little bumps in the road but not many or not anything that wouldn't get better. But after this weekend of vomiting I took her to the Vets to see what was happening they ran the tests and confirmed the cancer was in full gear white cells up and lymp nodes in neck swollen. Her kidney levels were elevating.she was anemic. she had a wicked infection. I took her home with antibiotics but I could tell this was not going to be the battle that we could win.Two days later, She wouldn't eat ,couldn't get the pills down and wouldn't drink and wouldn't get up so I called the Vet and met my hubby there at the office and we together cried and held her in our arms and gave her our last good byes.. It was Oct. 15th last year, that we first noticed this lump on her face and the drs. didn't give her long but she did well on the meds, but the meds took their toll on her too.
As I write this Iam dripping in tears but I wanted to write this tonight, I have been on this site for a couple of years and have met some wonderful people through CCorg. and I thank them for all the support they have given me throughout the years, and especially this week. My heart aches for NikNaks warm wet nose right now , but I know she is free of pain and doing a thousand zoomies with her sister Oneill ...
11/17/06 - 10/21/11 Nikki would have been 5 on Nov. 17th I so thought she would make it.
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kingalls
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by kingalls »

God speed,Nikki - you were so loved!
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by BeckiHutton »

Oh i am so sorry. I don't know what to say, but you have our condolences. I could tell she was loved very much.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Sirchow »

It is so hard to write here Nancy. There are no words for what you are going through with the loss of your beautiful Niknaks. I never met her but from all our many chats I feel I know her and miss her too and my heart breaks for your loss my friend. That is the other side of our great love for our pets and companions that we have this terrible loss when they go before us and in Nikki's case it was such a short life. She was the most beloved chow and she knew that. Run free dear sweet Nikki and play with your sister on the rainbow bridge. You will meet again one day Nancy of that I am sure.......
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Sarahloo »

Oh no!!! :cry:
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Auddymay »

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing that will abate your grief. Knowing that Nikki is running free of all infirmities with her sister does not help the pain in your heart, but will bring a measure of comfort if you close your eyes and picture them together. I did that often when I first lost Pip. Nikki was one of us here. We were honored to know her through you.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Cocoa »

Nancy, I am so very sorry to hear about Nikki. It is so hard when we have to say goodbye to one of our chowdren. She was a beautiful girl and I know you will miss her terribly. My condolences.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Yvonne »

So sorry to hear about Nikki crossing to the Bridge.

No words can help right now - I know you and Nikki loved each other very deeply.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by cherriemater »

Ohhhh dear, Nancy. I'm so sorry!! Words cannot express how much.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowpups »

Thank you all for your expressions of kindness to myself and Nikki .. Its been really a tough 2 days, my cup of coffee brings tears no matter how hard I try to contain my emotions. That was our time, she would get half my bagel and I would find the best foot warmer around, and after coffee and bagels her fuzzy butt would wiggle till I fed her and let her outside for her zoomies. She was so patient waiting for me to finish.(of course this sometimes didn't happen just that way but most of the time she waited till I was done before the wiggle started). I am so glad I got some extra time with her we went to the N.Carolina beaches this summer and she chased away the seagulls trying to steal the food, and Sept we went to the mountains and rented a home on the lake and she chased ducks and her favorite was chasing the chipmunks on "chipmunk lane"..(nikkis favorite thing)..I miss her terribly and now know what an empty house feels like.. horrible..
Heres nikki watching the ducks on the lake
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chica_2626
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chica_2626 »

Oh this really breaks my heart. Poor sweet girl. That is much too short a time with her. These stories sadden me so deeply because I don't know what I'd do if I were to lose J.D. so soon. Of course, if he were here for the rest of my life it still wouldn't be long enough. I am so very sorry.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Tippsy'smom »

Oh Nancy, I am so so sorry. :cry:

Godspeed Nikki!

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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowchowdaddy »

Nancy, we are so sorry to hear about Nikki. We, too, lost a chow baby to cancer, and it's as painful for us now as it was 5 years ago. Truly, our hearts go out to you, but Nikki is free from any problems and is running and playing with all of the other wonderful chows we have all lost over the years, you must believe that you will see her again...
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowpups »

I am glad to be part of this forum with such nice people who have been there one way or another.
Thank you Chica, Jess, and chowchowdaddy I know it will get better and my tears will be smiles soon, I have given that advise to many on here myself I just have to be a believer now.

My daughter called and told me they tried to explain it to my grandson whos 3 who loved Nikki to pieces and he refuses to believe Nikki is in Heaven .. He said No shes coming for Thanksgiving Dinner. Which was true we are going to their house for Thanksgiving Dinner and we have been telling him we all will be down for Thanksgiving before this all happened.. Oh, this is going to be a tough one too.. He's grown up with Nikki , hes calls on the phone and talks to Nikki till she barks back at him. Anyone else gone through this with any good suggestions? I feel so bad for him hes going to be so upset when we get there and no Nikki Iam afraid.
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chica_2626
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chica_2626 »

Maybe bring a framed picture of Nikki with you? Something that he can talk to and look at and maybe try to explain that it's the only way to see Nikki now? I'm not sure, I haven't had to deal with that but it's the only thing I can think of.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowpups »

That is a great idea and I think that might be something he will get cause he always looks at my cell phone that has a picture of our other chow who passed before he was born and he seems good with that and always asks to see Oneill and then he tells Nikki thats your sister..
Thank you, see when your mind is in a blur others always see so clearly. .thank you. Chica..
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Tippsy'smom »

I agree about the picture. My 2 year old "niece" always asks to see "her Tippsy" and I show her the pictures on my phone and she seems to understand. She even kisses my phone like she's kissing Tippsy. :) They also lost their 6 year old chocolate lab a couple months before Tippsy passed... So now, we tell Kherri that Kaiden and Tippsy are her guardian angels.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chrissybrook »

..So so sorry to hear this..I'm new to the forum so haven't had the pleasure of hearing a lot about Nikki, but oh, how beautiful she is in your banner...I can also see from yours (and others) post/s how much she was and is still loved. The poem you refer to is one that someone once sent to me too...it's very emotive, but the meaning of the words says it all. Again, sorry to hear the very sad news..thoughts are with you...RIP Nikki xxx
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Cocoa »

The photo of Nikki for your grandson sounds like a good idea. I don't really know what else to suggest, it is so hard to explain to them at that age, not surprising since it is hard enough for us to understand as adults. I went through this with my grandson when we put Baby down although he was a few years older and they were nearby so he got a chance to say goodbye, which I think made him understand a little better.

Btw, I love the photo of Nikki watching the ducks.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Sirchow »

The picture sounds a lovely idea because he will be able to remember Nikki. I think be simple and tell him as honestly as possible at a level he can understand. Then he wont think she is asleep or somewhere else and wonder why she doesn't want to be with him anymore. Maybe also explaining that the vets took her pain away would help because he knew Nikkis nose was sore and he mustn't touch it.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by chowpups »

My goodness You all have been so wonderful and helpful .. thank you a thousand times for all these warm kind messages.. its really a warm feeling hearing from everyone when you feel so sad inside. I hope to continue on this forum and share any stories, info, or knowledge I can with you all ..
Thank you
Nancy
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by cherriemater »

Nancy ... may I just expand on everyones idea just a bit? Walgreens (and many other mass-production photo printers) has a photo coffee table book in size 4.5x6, 5x7 and 8x10. You select and upload your pictures, can pick from pre-made templates or custominze anyway you want. You could include the Rainbow Bridge poem and the one you posted as well. You could even add pictures of Oneill to help your little guy understand that they're together now. The end result is a professionally printed book that starts at about $29 bucks, but the memories are priceless. Here's a link to get you started if you decide to do something like that:

http://photo.walgreens.com/walgreens/ph ... ype=PMB11/
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Yvonne »

Nikki looks so happy watching the ducks - she was a beautiful chow.

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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by TyChowgirl »

I just stumbled across this. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was such a short time, but I guess at least your baby girl isn't suffering anymore and now she has so many wonderful chow friends to play with pain free. Sending hugs your way and purple kisses from Tiberius. Oh and I think the idea is wonderful too. If not walgreens, I know that walmart and some other bigger type stores have a customize option for pictures where you can get mousepads, calendars, mugs, etc. Whatever you think will help the little guy cope.
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Re: This battle couldn't be won. We love you Nikki

Post by Victory »

I am sorry to have missed this I knew she was sick but not how sick. It is hard when they are so young. My condolences.
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