We have lost our beloved Cayenne

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We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Mandy » Sat May 09, 2009 10:08 am

It is with an incredibly heavy heart that I am posting this message. Our beloved Cayenne had to be put to sleep yesterday. I still can't believe it. We all love her so much and there is a huge hole in our hearts. This is going to be really long but I thought some of you who knew us would want to know what happened:

About 3 months ago or so, we noticed that Cay Cay was shaking her head a bit and pawing at her ear. This was on a Thursday. We made an appt at the vet for monday. On Sunday, we got up in the morning and noticed that her head was REALLY tilted to one side and it seemed like her face had drooped down on the left side. I looked up some information on the internet (I thought she had a stroke) and thought that it seemed like she had a middle ear infection. I called my vet (he lets us call him at home) and he said that we should bring her in first thing in the morning. We brought her in and he did an X-ray of her head and tried to look in her ear. They couldn't see into her ear canal (it was too small and too impacted with stuff) and after looking at the X-ray and not seeing anything they felt that they should go into her ear to flush out anything that was in there. They were hoping for infection as the alternative was some kind of tumor or something like that. We had her in the next day and he said they flushed out a LOT of pus and thick infection. He said that she no longer had an ear drum and would not be able to hear out of that ear but that they cleaned out all of the infection. He started her on pain killers and antibiotics (both in her ear and oral) and after about a week she seemed MUCH better! She was happy again, running around and holding her head up a little better. Our vet was still a bit concerned and puzzled as Cay had never had an ear infection before and was not the type of dog that normally had them. He couldn't figure out a cause and that bothered him. He wanted to see her every week for the first month. Every check up seemed to go well - no infection when he swabbed her ear. Her face was still mostly paralyzed on the left side and she had complete muscle atrophy in the top of her head on that side. He felt that the infection may have caused permanent nerve damage but still wasn't sure of the cause. About a month ago, she started shaking her head again, we brought her back in that day and doc saw a lot of wax build up in her ear. He gave us an ear wash and wanted us to come back in a week. We did that, she seemed a little better and we made another appt for a week later. I received a call from another vet in the office that performs acupuncture and she offered to work on Cayenne for free to try to help with her comfort level and see if they could do anything about the paralysis. Then in the course of 3 days over last weekend weekend, Cay went downhill. She started tripping over her left foot, she seemed to loose a little depth perception, she was eating very slowly (didn't seem to be able to use the left side of her mouth), and there was some kind of discharge coming from her nose but she was still eating, still wanted to give Kennedy kisses, still wanted scrachies, still wanted to sit outside so I was worried there was a infection back but wasn't freaking out. I brought her in on monday morning, nervous but still okay and met with three different vets. The swabbed her ear and found nothing. Our vet said we could go in to scope her ear again and if that didn't show anything we could do another X-ray and if that didn't show anything we could do a CAT scan. At this point he said he felt that it was as he had feared a while back that there was probably some sort of tumor at the base of her brain or on her nerve center and that there may not be much we could do. I asked if it was a tumor of some sort what he thought the prognosis might be and he said he couldn't say without seeing a CAT scan or MRI but that based on her behavior, she could still have some life ahead of her and it might just be us deciding when it was time. He did say that if it WAS a tumor, that it probably wasn't operable. I left her that day to get acupuncture and picked her up after work. We gave her pain medicine all week and made an appt for Friday for the ear flush. I took her that morning and dropped her off with Dr. James (our vet) and he said he would give me a call later. I got the call at 2:30, really not expecting to hear anything except she is doing fine but they couldn't find anything and it was probably a tumor. But that is not what he said. I asked how she was doing and he said "not good." Apparently they went in and started by doing the flush. None of the fluid came back. Some of the fluid came out her mouth and nose and some just never came back. He put a scope deep into her ear and found nothing. Meaning NO INNER EAR. No bones, no nothing. Just pus and infection way deep inside. Then she stopped breathing on the table. They were able to stabilize her but her breathing was erratic. The brought her back to X-ray and found that something had completely eaten away the inside of her ear. He felt that the only thing that could do that sort of damage in such a short period of time was a VERY aggressive tumor at the base of her brain. He said that if we brought her out of anesthesia, that she may not be able to walk and even if she could, she would be in a great deal of pain and it would only probably be a matter of days. He said that if it was his doggy, he would let her go without waking her. I couldn't believe it. I knew something might be coming but I thought I still would have months if not a year with her. I am still in shock. I called drew and he met me at the vet. We both hugged and kissed her and stayed with her while they put her to sleep. I told her how much everyone loved her and how she was the sweetest chow girl ever. Two of the vet techs came in to give her kisses (she was well loved at our vet) and we said our goodbyes. I am still in shock and I'm so sorry to have to share this with you. I know this was a ton of detail but since many of you were on here when we got her, I thought you would want to know.
Here are some pics of Cayenne. She was SUCH a beautiful girl.
Here is a link if you want to see how she was with our daughter Kennedy:

We will be spending all the time we can helping Chewie get through this as he has been with Cayenne for most of his life. Any suggestions any of you with two pups have for what do to help chewie would be greatly appreciated. Cayenne was a part of our family and we will miss her so much. She was the light of our lives and we did everything we could to make her happy here. We loved her so much and will remember her always.


Mandy, Chewie, & Cayenne

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Zhuyos mom » Sat May 09, 2009 10:23 am

Oh Mandy, this is heartbreaking! So, so sorry. My tears are streaming for your loss. However, you did more than you and Drew and her medical team could possibly offer. She knew how much love there was/is for her.

Give Chewie time and space. He will grieve terribly. It took Miss PB a year after Zhuyo's passing - 2 months for her to start eatting. When he starts showing the signs of grief, you could put a little dab of Lavender oil on his forehead and massage it on. Just a little dab (itty-bitty dab like the pin of a toothpick head) to relax him and relieve some of the anxiety. My local humane society, where Miss PB came from, uses Lavender oil on their animals to calm them. I burned lavender candles from Wms-Sonoma to calm Tigger when our houseguest/foster left last month. He had a difficult time in missing his friend.

We lit a candle for Cay:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... id=8361627

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Judy Fox » Sat May 09, 2009 10:45 am

Mandy I am so very sorry to hear about Cayenne. What sad news but you must know that you did everything you could and she would have known you loved her so much.
Just give Chewie time and love - he will miss her terribly I am sure but he will understand in time.

"Say not in grief she is no more, but in thankfulness she was".

Purple kisses from M & M and hugs across the sea from us.

We lit a candle too.http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... id=8362203

Last edited by Judy Fox on Sat May 09, 2009 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Coco Chow » Sat May 09, 2009 11:23 am

I am so sorry for the beautiful Cayenne. What happened is so so unfair...
You did everything you could and I am sure she was thankful.
We'll be thinking about you...

Elodie & Coco
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Dogdad » Sat May 09, 2009 12:11 pm

mandy and Family,

I am so sorry to hear what happened to poor Cayenne. She had a wonderful life with you and you did everything you could.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby ngraham » Sat May 09, 2009 12:46 pm

Oh Mandy,
I don't even know what to say. I'm literally ill. Cay was such a special part of my life. We got Koda, Chewie and Cay all around the same time. Caynne's crossing the bridge brings that hurt of losing Koda back again, because she was so special to me. I don't have any words of wisdom and saying I'm sorry seems so empty. Just know that I loved Cay and I loved being her Aunt Nancy. But she's with my Koda and Lou's Zhuyo and the boys will watch over her. Give yourself time to grieve. Losing one of these guys is like losing a kid almost. It's alright to cry, it's alright to talk about those special memories. Give Chew love. Let him know you're there for him. I don't think I ever saw a picture of Chewie where Cay wasn't right there by his side. It's like Zhuyo and Miss PB were. So this will be hard for him. He's going to grieve. Just be there for him.
P.S. I've lit a candle for Cay too. http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=8362071
Last edited by ngraham on Sat May 09, 2009 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Sirchow » Sat May 09, 2009 12:50 pm

This is so sad and and I feel for your family. Rest in peace Cayenne. Watch over your family, chow angel.
Siriol, Bramble, Izzie and Isla.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Victory » Sat May 09, 2009 12:57 pm

My very deepest condolences. Chewie and Cay have been a part of this site, (family) for a long time and she will be missed. You did all you could for her and she knew she was loved. Cancer is so unfair and if there was one thing in the universe I could change it would be that pets don't get cancer.

Chewie will probably miss her terribly, or he may surprise you and be okay. Sometimes they know long before we do that their companion isn't doing well and have said their goodbyes long before we do. LiChi was like that with MingToy. However even if they have done their grieving they will still be lonely and need a lot of companionship. On the other hand he may be like Firesong who just couldn't be alone. You'll want to watch him for behavior changes that will indicate stress or increased watchfulness.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Piff Poff » Sat May 09, 2009 1:31 pm

I am so so sorry to be reading this, please accept my condolences.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Auddymay » Sat May 09, 2009 2:15 pm

Oh Mandy. I weep for the loss your family has taken. Cayenne was a beautiful girl, and even though our lives kept us busy, I always rest assured that your furkids were happy and healthy. I am so sorry. I still remember how excited and happy you were to be getting Chewie a big sister, and the story of how she was Drew's girl, though I am sure in the last months she was Kennedy's girl, or was it vice versa? Know that she is already at the bridge, patiently waiting for the time you will be together again. God Bless you in your grief.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby fillyok » Sat May 09, 2009 3:11 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. Cayenne knew she was loved and will see you again. Run free sweet Cayenne.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby kiwani » Sat May 09, 2009 3:41 pm

Mandy, you have my deepest sympathy. Cayenne belonged to all of us, back when this forum felt like extended family. Greatly loved and missed by her family here, she'll take a part of our hearts with her. You gave her a beautiful life, and shared beautiful memories with us. Farewell cherished Cayenne. Run free with joy on that gentle road towards peace.

Mandy wrote:...He felt that the infection may have caused permanent nerve damage but still wasn't sure of the cause.... They brought her back to X-ray and found that something had completely eaten away the inside of her ear. He felt that the only thing that could do that sort of damage in such a short period of time was a VERY aggressive tumor at the base of her brain

A cholesteatoma cyst has the same symptoms - nerve damage, facial paralysis, bone erosion, etc. It can cause damage to the brain as well, as her last symptoms seem to show. When the tube that regulates pressure within the ear malfunctions, the negative pressure can cause the eardrum to be pulled inwards. This can form a pouch where the cyst collects and expands. The enzymes that the cyst releases cause erosive damage.

As for Chewie, give him time to grieve as well. It may become more difficult for him to bond with a new companion while under the influence of
grief chemistry. Take extra good care of yourselves.

All best wishes

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby SWANCIN » Sat May 09, 2009 5:08 pm

Dear Mandy, Drew and family,

I am so sad to hear this awful news. Your pain is our pain. :( ...

Thinking of you with healing thoughts and lighting a candle for Cay to light her way on her next journey.

Cindy & Kodi
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby kingalls » Sat May 09, 2009 5:29 pm

Mandy, Drew & Kennedy - We are so sorry to hear that Cay had to leave us so soon.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... id=8363145
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby chow fancier » Sat May 09, 2009 5:38 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Cayenne before today but grieve with you still. From your post I can tell how big a part of your lives this sweet chow girl was and how much she will be missed. While it will be hard on you and your family, including Chewie, she was one of the lucky ones. She knew true love, had her very own family and home. God bless you for being her forever family. She is your own angel now and watches over all of you.

Chewie may adjust to being an only chow with an ease that surprises you or he may require a companion to get through this. Only with time will you be able to tell.

Below are two poems that have comforted me. I offer them here in the hope that they will in some small way comfort you in turn.

I Stood By Your Bed Last Night

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew,
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

- Unknown


I am Not There

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Boogie and Linda » Sat May 09, 2009 5:47 pm

So sad. I am very sorry for your loss.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby vicster605 » Sun May 10, 2009 6:15 am

Oh Mandy, I am soooo sooo sorry for your loss and how it happened, couldn't keep the tears away this time. Give Kennedy and Chewie a big hug from us [:D]

Thanks Sweetpea!

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby LEO's mum » Sun May 10, 2009 7:08 am

Mandy, I am so sorry to hear of the sad news. Cay was such a lovely girl. Nancy is right, it is like loosing one of the family to all of us oldies on the site. It hurts so much, we share your hurt. Biggest Hugs to you and Chewie.

Leonora & mum

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby redangie24 » Sun May 10, 2009 1:49 pm

Mandy I am so sorry for your loss. I remember the first time I saw your two and thinking they were the most beautiful chows I had ever seen. I still think that. I am so sorry to hear how things happened for you. I cried for Cayenne she was a wonderful chow and you have been a wonderful chow parent. It is heartbreaking to know a chow for so long and then loose them. At least you know that you gave her the best possible life and she loved you for it. I know this is a difficult time for you and Chewie, but I know you have each other and in time Chewie will feel better.
Have a Chowfastic Day!!

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Layla » Sun May 10, 2009 4:10 pm

Mandy, I'm so very sorry to hear your news about Cay. My deepest sympathies on your loss.

Layla, Millie & Alf
Thank you Elodie!

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby chowfrnd88 » Mon May 11, 2009 4:08 am

Oh Mandy, I am so, so, so sorry. I couldn't stop crying as I read yoru post. Cay was so special to us all. My favorite picture of her is when she and Chewie are in the canoe, lounging around and being so chowish. That is how I will always remember her, it's one of my favorite pictures of chows period. I will be thinking about you and the whole family. Sending you great big hugs.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby bubbybear » Mon May 11, 2009 7:19 am

So sorry for your lose. They are a part of our familys. Mia and Tyton send purple kisses and hugs. Give Chewy hugs and kisses to. Take care Mia. Tyton and family.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby CoraP. » Mon May 11, 2009 8:22 am

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Cayenne. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Godspeed, sweet Cayenne.
Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.
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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby Tsunami22 » Mon May 11, 2009 11:06 am

So sorry to hear of your loss. Absolutely heart-breaking.

Here is a poem by Pablo Neruda, my favorite poet. I visited his home in Chile (now a museum) and discovered for the first time that he had had a chow too! I think he must have had several. He writes this poem about his chow (you can tell) and even if his relationship is different than your's to Cayenne, know that you aren't alone.

To me, the poem shows speechlessness in teh face of grief. How a dog, your best friend, can pass and there isn't anything you can do about it. Helplessness and not having to say anything beyond that.

A Dog Has Died

My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I'll join him right there,
but now he's gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,
I believe in a heaven I'll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I'll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,
was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with seix.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention required
to make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he'd keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea's movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean's spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don't now and never did lie to each other.

So now he's gone and I buried him,
and that's all there is to it.

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Re: We have lost our beloved Cayenne

Postby rufnedge-2 » Mon May 11, 2009 1:19 pm

My heart goes out to you Mandy... I'm not good at this stuff I'm so sorry to hear. I'm sure you provided a wonderful life and that's what counts.

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