It has been a year...

[Laura]

My Kody
One year ago today I lost the love of my life. How quickly time flies but how slowly pain heals. I miss him every single day. That day at the vets haunts me and will for the rest of my life. I have 2 new babies now who I adore but there will never be another Kody.
I got Kody when he was a pup. We already had Nanook who was 4 or 5 mos old and one Saturday we went to just 'look' at some chow pups. Kody was there with his sister who was a lot bigger then him and the owner said she drug him around like a rag doll. It was love at first sight and he came home with us. He was always 'my' dog. It was me he followed around. While Nanook loved to spend his time outside alone, Kody always wanted to be in the house with his family.
A few years later I got divorced and moved from Colorado back home to Alabama (after a 14 yr absence) with Kody and my clothes and not much else. I brought only Kody because he was my shadow...my dog...and because he and Nanook fought and couldn't be together at all. The ex kept Nanook.
Kody and I had some very rough and lean years but if I had to live in a box I wasn't going to give him up. We lived in a dump that first year and he ate Alpo and I ate sandwiches but we made it together...struggling for several years.
Kody was an easy mellow dog. His only bad habit was getting in the trash...he wasn't hyper or demanding of attention...he was just my shadow...my room-mate. The only toy he ever played with his entire life was tennis balls. He wouldn't fetch but he still liked for me to join him in play with the ball. I could also get him really wound up by blowing in his face and mock barking/growling. He had lousy bite inhibition but loved to rough house. He hated to be brushed and I joked just the other day that he probably died with puppy coat still in there somewhere. He hated the camera so I have very few pics of him..it terrified him for some reason.
He was there with me through the death of my grandparents and the sudden death of my mom which left me with only 2 family members, through relationships come and gone. I always felt that Kody was all I had in this world. Even though I remarried 8 mos before his death, that thinking never changed. People come and go in our lives but Kody was always by my side. That is part of why losing him is still so hard to take I guess.
People say Chows remember...chows are good judges of people. One story always sticks out in my mind about Kody. I was dating a guy who Kody liked but one day we had a major blow-up in front of Kody and from that day forward Kody would have nothing to do with Keith. Keith and I remain friends to this day and it was many years ago and it really hurt Keiths feelings but Kody never forgave him for that fight. Kody was also very protective of me. He always slept in the doorway to my bedroom or in front of the entry door wherever we lived. When people came over he would bark and have a fit until I touched that person and told him it was okay. I had to touch them though...something about that calmed him and told him they were ok. It was always funny explaining that to repair people and the like. Favorite memories are taking him to Florida and watching his reaction the first time he walked in sand...stopping at Micky D's and getting him a cheeseburger too...the way he 'headed for the hills' on football Saturdays when I yelled at the TV.
Kody was never sick a day in his life til the last 4 years of it and then it was one thing after another. One of the saddest for me was when he lost a lot of his hearing. I could be all the way in the house and he wouldn't even wake up but when he did he would still get up to come give me my greeting. He sat by me as I cried through life's misfortunes. He accepted the changes and moving and new people in his life w/out objection. He loved me when I was too wrapped up in my own issues to be a good mom and forgave me my short comings.
Kody's death was caused by an oral cancer. I took him to the vet for diarrhea and while there a tumor was discovered in his mouth. He was 13. They removed the tumor and told me that while it wasn't a type of cancer that spread...it was a type prone to recurring. Less than a year later it was back only this time it was under the skin between the top of his mouth and his snout. At his age doing a repeat surgery to remove it again only to have it come back was not an option I chose to put him through. So we waited and watched it grow. I was determined that I didn't want Kody to suffer. My vet kept telling me even as the tumor grew that Kody would tell me when it was time. I waited horrified every day at how quickly it grew and how it distorted his face, waiting for him to tell me...for someone to tell me what to do. Waiting for the day I would have to put him to sleep. On July 29th and 30th there was blood in his food bowl. He was biting the tumor and causing it to bleed. On the morning of July 31st I woke up to bloody places everywhere he slept the night before. I freaked completely out. If it's bleeding it has to hurt I thought. I panicked and chose that day to have him pts. I stayed with him as the shots were given and it was my arms he collapsed in. I can still feel it...there is nothing more horrible. He was half deaf and half blind, very arthritic, and had cancer but even on that day he was still walking around and he still ate his last meal. I second guess my decision to do it that day everyday of my life. Should I have waited til he was worse off. Hubby tells me it would have only been days or a couple of weeks..that there was no sense in letting him suffer more. But Kody trusted me and I can't stop second guessing...he never 'told' me it was time. Hopefully one day I can find peace with it but I will never stop missing my sweet Kody. He was my once in a lifetime dog and I was blessed with 14 years and 4 months of sharing my life with him. RIP sweetheart.

[jacqui]

Laura,that is a beautiful love story.Kody had a very long and happy life with you.you were both blessed to have each other.
I think everyone has regrets about the last day.you know in your heart you did the right thing for Kodys sake.
Bless you and Kody.

[Layla]

Beautiful tribute to your boy Laura.

[TJordan]

You and Kody had a wonder life together, don't second guess your decision.

[chowkidz]

Laura that was a great tribute for Kody. It made me cry and giggle. Hugs from the chowkidz.

[CoraP.]

What a special tribute to Kody. I think you did the right thing, at the right time. It sounds like Kody would have really been suffering if you had let him go on. Rest peacefully, Kody.

[janet]

laura that was a beautiful tribute to your boy kody. as i ball my eyes out i can only hope that everyone on this earth will get to experience a special bond like you two had.
rest in peace kody.

[Coco Chow]

Kody's story was beautiful to read...

[Me & Tess]

Laura,

You had a beautiful life with a wonderful companion. I don't know when we stop trying to second guess ourselves. Tess was the love of my life too. Nancy

[lovechows55]

Laura,

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved Cody. I laughed and cried as I read your tribute because it parallels so much of what I've been going through this past year. My chow Chelsea and I were soul mates and went through many life changes too. I could really relate to what you went through with Cody being your steady rock for many years. Chels had severe hip dysplasia and the vets said the same thing about her telling me when she was ready. I waited and waited and finally when her pain got to be too bad, made the agonizing decision to let her leave her earth suit. I questioned myself for months about whether I did the right thing and whether I should have waited a few more days, weeks, etc.

But I finally realized that maybe vets don't really understand one basic thing about chows: they are loyal to the end, stubborn, strong willed and wonderful fur-babies who won't willingly leave us. You absolutely made the right decision for Cody and you made it out of love for him. He would not have chosen to leave you but you knew in your heart that it was time to let him go. And he's still with you on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. The love of a chow lasts forever and once you're owned by a chow, they own you for eternity.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Laura.

[Chingshouse]

Well crap, now you got me bawling!!! My year mark is coming up quickly, thank goodness I have the day off!! I am sorry for your loss and I know exactly how you feel. You did what you could and that is all we are expected to do. I can say that Ching did tell me it was time for him to go. A very dear friend of mine told me on the phone that my dog would tell me when it was time and I thought he was crazy but it happened.

I hope Kody will forever live in your heart!!!!

HUGS!!!!!!!!

Barb

[schnauziechow]

I was reading this with tears in my eyes... Its heartwarming and touching

Kody will live in your heart forever, never has he taken a step away from you. Now hes over the rainbow bridge where theres no pain, watching you from above...