The Grief...(LONG)

[wallacethegreat]

...I lost my Oliver Wallace on January 26th to cancer...a strange tumor on his spleen that threatened to explode and bleed out. I knew at Christmas-time, it would be our last. I took lots of pictures and shot videos. He was 13-1/2. Not a day went by, for many years, when I didn't say to him...out loud...every morning..."Hey Bear, we get to spend another day together."
Last August 2007, he had a cancerous tumor removed from under his fluffy tail. The vet said she got it all. It was cancerous, but she said the tumor just popped right out when she made the incision. He seemed to rebound so fast!
I thought he would live forever.
In 1994, I picked my Wally-bear from a cardboard box of free 6 week-old Chow mix puppies at the grocery store. He wasn't weaned until that moment I took him home from the grocery store parking lot. But, I did get to meet his mama there who was a beautiful purebred black Chow girl.
I have spent ALL of my life with dogs...German Shepherds as a child (because my mother grew up with them), Old English Sheepdogs and Golden Retrievers because of my Scottish family. But, there was something about that black little pup who cried as I took him from the cardboard box that day. He grew up to be such a special gift and a part of my life that is unlike any before.
I lived in the remote mountains of Colorado 30 miles from the smallest town west of Colorado Springs; alone without husband or children, except for my dogs and horses. My OES, Angus, and Golden Retriever, Chester, were older, but Wallace was the boss of me. I NEVER worried for a moment about my safety. Why would I? Oliver Wallace was my sentinel.
To strangers, he would be aloof for about 5 minutes until he figured if they were ok with me, they were ok with him. I was HIS human.
He was a BIG Chow boy...an 80-pound little tank who wouldn't let anybody mess with me for a moment.
I had never known much about Chows before I got Wally in 1994...I had heard all of the ugly things people said about them. But, after knowing Wallace, I could never understand why.
I write this because I have never felt such pain and grief over losing one of my buddies. I just can't seem to get over it or through it. I have never been SO devastated by the loss of one of my Buds. There will never be another Wallace.
The day I put Wally down, the vet came to the house. She'd told me over the past few years during his check-ups that he was the nicest, sweetest Chow she'd ever met.
I joined your website today, hoping to find other people like me. I found all of you.
I have spent the past several weeks looking for another black Chow on every website I can find. I will never replace my Wally, but I know other people don't treasure them like we all do and I know that I can provide a wonderful home to a Chow-baby no one wants. And, in rescue work, I know that NO ONE wants a BLACK dog.
I now live in New Mexico, in the mountains above Albuquerque with a husband, dogs, cats and Arabians. All of our critters are rescues.
I've worked with rescue groups (horses and dogs) for the past 20 years; with the New Mexico Golden Retriever Rescue for the past 4 years and with many other people here, worked hard to find homes for canine Katrina victims. I have two Golden Retreiver females (throw-aways who are special needs characters who need daily medication)), one Bearded Collie who was to be euthanized within hours when I pulled him from the city shelter, and a very sweet 1 year-old purebred Anatolian Shepherd (we got her two weeks ago at the pound) who was dumped at the city shelter; three cats all rescued from the shelter, and two Arabian horses, also rescued. One, a gelding, is now 23 (I've had him for 8 years) and a mare who was 250 pounds underweight and starving when I got her 6 years ago.
We have 5 acres, live in the mountains where our closest neighbor is nearly a mile away; it's all fenced for jumpers and escape artists of any kind; we have doggie/kitty doors so the critters can come in and out as they please, but always spend their time WHEREVER we are.
I have searched for adoptable Chows within a 250 mile radius of Albuquerque...well, even as far away as Los Angeles, as if I could ever get one of those dogs to New Mexico. There are none in New Mexico, or Colorado, or Arizona.
I don't have a ton of money to pay for transport, but can work it if somebody can get within 250 miles of me.
If any of you know of a big black Chow who needs an awesome loving home, who will be treated with respect and an understanding of Chows, please let me know. I really think Wally feels this will help heal my heart.
Thanks to all of you in advance,
Laura

Oliver Wallace MacCallum at 10

Oliver Wallace1.JPG (120.1 KiB) Viewed 3126 times

[Laura]

Hi Laura welcome to the site although I am sorry it is under such sad circumstances. You have come to the right place to both help heal your broken heart and find another Chow soul in need of a home.
Lots of us are more then willing to help with transports and locating Chows in need of a good home. There are so many out there. Keep your eye on the chows needing a home section and on petfinder of course and I will help you look as well.
I am sorry for your loss and I hope that we can help you with locating another Chow.

[CoraP.]

Welcome, Laura,
I felt the same way that you do when we lost our part chow named Bear. Your Wallace looks very, very, much like Bear did, too. Bear was around 60 pounds in his prime so he wasn't as big. He was black and had the same droopy ears too! I am so sorry for your loss. It really is awful. Like you, I thought Bear would be around forever, and seeing him fade and get old and less able to do the things he always did was so hard. I hope you find another friend who will help you heal. It is hard, though, but I think you will find someone. Good luck.

This is my darling Bear.

09-02-2006 10;03;35PM.jpg (231 KiB) Viewed 3085 times

[jacqui]

Welcome Laura,
Wally was a very lucky boy to have you for his Mom.you sound like a very special person.I know another Chow will come into your life,just keep looking.
bless you for all your kindness.keep us posted.

[sockmunkey1969]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am approaching the one year anniversary of losing my Grizzly Bear to cancer. The vet removed a huge growth from his throat that was cancerous and she said that I might have another 6 months to a year with him. She was not able to get all of the tumor because it was so deep in the tissues in his mouth and tongue. He rebounded from the surgery beautifully; even played fetch once or twice. He seemed to be himself again. Then about two weeks later, he decided he was done. Putting him down was the hardest thing I've ever done. By the time I got him there he let me hold him like a little baby and I just sat on the curb outside and cried and cried. I was worried that seeing him after he was gone would not be good for me but I'm glad I did. It was good to see him at peace. He would not eat, he couldn't breathe and he would not sleep. It was like he knew if he closed his eyes that was it. I got him from a no kill shelter and he was my 2nd chow . He looked so much like my Brewster; it was uncanny. Brewster was 37 lbs and Grizz was 38 lbs. He had been in the shelter for 2 years just waiting for me. I only had him for 3 years and they were some of the best years of my life. I am still grieving my loss as well. Hopefully he's met up with Brewster and they are playing together in heaven. This was my Baby boy Grizz.