Ups and Downs of Senior Pets

PurpleKisses · Post by **PurpleKisses** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:32 pm

Our Cat Tiocy is driving me crazy, for about the last two years I have been concerned about her health. She will be 11 years old in September. Recently, the last couple months her breathing has gotten very bad, the vet suspects a nasal tumor, which is inoperable, I am not sure if it is that or something in her throat. They cannot put her under to find out due to her health. It is pretty harsh, he said that even if they found out what it was, (nasal or throat) that it would be inoperable in her due to her health. So, I feel like we are just waiting for her to die. I have raised this kitty by hand since the day she was born. In the last couple months, she has been going up and down, we will think that she is getting close and then she is fine again. Sometimes, she has the hardest time breathing(open mouth and raspy - kind of sounds like a snore) and then a couple days later she is better. It is heartbreaking to watch. She is my youngest daughters favorite cat, both my girls have known her since they were born. Tiocy has always been there for me, she was there before I even met my husband. I am going to die losing her. I have lost many pets but this one is different. I am not sure I can handle her going. I feel like I am losing my first child.

How do I know when enough is enough? Do I keep waiting letting her have her bad days, as long as she keeps having good? I am worried that she will have many bad days an I will say "that's enough" only to have her get better. And then when I finally do "it", I will always wonder if she would have been better the next day. I usually have no problem giving out answers to these questions but for the life of me, I cannot answer them myself...not with her.

Sorry for the rambling, it is just hitting me hard today.

Roxana · Post by **Roxana** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:47 pm

Sigh......

I have no answers for you, I'm sorry. It's not something that has an easy answer and it's certainly not something I'm looking forward to although I know that time is coming. All I can say is something that my vet has told me when the topic has come up, and that is that the animal will let you know when it's time for them to go. I never really completely understood that, but I'm hoping that when Dakota's time comes, I will have the strength and the insight to know. I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

Roxana

Rogansmommy · Post by **Rogansmommy** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 1:39 pm

This is so difficult and I don't envy your situation. I hate it when it gets so close that you begin debating every day.

I have no advise except to follow your heart.

TiVo's Mom · Post by **TiVo's Mom** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:14 pm

This is my first post tho after reading yours I had to respond tho admittedly its through a lot of tears. We just lost our malamute Yukon in February at 9 years of age due to a nasal adenocarcinoma. The tumor was up in his nasal passage and was so diffuse in the tissue they could not operate. I agree with your vet. Your cat will let you know, Yukon did. We didn't want to hear him at first but he finally got the message through to us. We miss him terribly even though we have another dog and 5 cats which we love and adore. Fortunately I have a lot of pet loving friends that helped us get through it. After losing him I never thought we'd have another puppy again, but we have just taken in our first chow. He's a four month old that we have named TiVo. He's not meant to be a replacement for Yukon but to provide his own spirit to our family. He has really perked up our older dog Gulliver. Though so far the cats are not at all crazy about him since he does chase them. I really feel for your situation and recommend that you just take it one day at a time.

PurpleKisses · Post by **PurpleKisses** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:29 pm

Thank you everyone. I have never had a bond with any animal like I have with Tocers. She is like my best friend. I know she will let us know. I just hope that if she decides to go on her own, that I find her and not my daughters....they are only 4 and 6. I am preparing them but it is hard, they kind of understand but they keep asking me why. I don't have an answer for them. Caitlyn, the youngest, grabbed her today and told me to take her to the vet to make her better, I had to tell her that they couldn't make her better. She understands death a little as Kaia was put to sleep last fall but she doesn't want it to happen to her kitty...no one does. We will take it one day at a time. And knowing Tiocy, she will live another 10 years just to be a brat! LOL

Rogansmommy · Post by **Rogansmommy** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:33 pm

If she is anything like our first dog, she will seek you out if she chooses to cross without help. Butchie walked in to my parents room, barked once to wake my father and passed. He didn't want us to find him. (We were young as well.)

PurpleKisses · Post by **PurpleKisses** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:35 pm

I hope that she does something like that. I would rather her pass on her own rather then have to be put down. I want her to go when she wants. But I refuse to let her be in pain, so I hope she goes before she ends up in pain. Oh, this is so hard. My poor baby.

TiVo's Mom · Post by **TiVo's Mom** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:54 pm

It is hard and at least we didn't have any children to explain anything to. But, what a wonderful family that Tiocy is in that loves her so much. I was so devastated with Yukon that I went through the "we'll never get another pet" phase and I was so afraid that soemthing would happen to one of our other "kids" I made myself a wreck, then when I thought about all the happiness that our four legged kids bring to our lives I realized that although it's painful it's worth it. (Though I'm sure hoping that our chow's lifespan will be longer than 9 years. That was just too short.) Also, I think this, though hard, is a wonderful example that you are setting for your children.

PurpleKisses · Post by **PurpleKisses** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:02 pm

Thanks. We do have three other cats, ranging in ages from 5 to 15 weeks, so I am trying to explain to them that we need to love Tiocy now and let her know how much we love her, and after she is gone,(well, and beforehand too) we need to do the exact same thing to the other cats. They take comfort in the other cats, My older daughter has her own cat(the 5 year old named Asha) and my youngest has really taken to the kitten(Ariel) Bounder is my baby boy, but Tiocy has not lost any spots with anyone. You could not ask for a better cat then her. She has always taught everyone the "rules" of the house. Even the cat aggressive dog that we fostered for a while never messed with her.

I hope that Chi-Ching lives a long life. I want to be one of them on here with my 15 year old boy.

Juniper · Post by **Juniper** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:50 pm

It is very hard to make decisions like this. But you will know when the time comes and your cat Tiocy will definitely relay the message to you.

6 years ago I gave an at home euthanasia to my cat Sunshine who was 17.5 years old and the lump at the bridge of her nose was deforming her face. Just 4 weeks prior she had surgery to remove a cancerous lump on her back and the vet didn't notice the one under the bridge of the nose which was inoperable. She did have two weeks of absolutely beautiful weather to enjoy outside after the surgery. But then she whined one day, didn't look very happy, the life was gone out of her eyes and I could actually see her pain. Her bowels changed and she lost interest in eating, she had breathing problems and her head hung lower than usual. I knew it was time.

I still remember the euthanization of my cat Spunky who was only 3 and had leukemia. Spunky lost his spunk and had sadness in his eyes, had trouble with his bowels and began to lose interest in eating and I knew it was time.

My kitty-kitty was 20 when he was poisoned by a neighbor and I managed to keep him alive for 4 weeks. I was giving him subcutaneous fluids daily. The day I was taking him to the acupuncturist he had that look in his eyes. A stare of- it's time- but I couldn't accept it. I was at the acupuncturist and she had to tell me he was dying. She told me he wasn't in any pain and would probably die shortly. So I decided that we would take our last ride in the car and while on the freeway I had to pull over and I was petting him as he passed away.

My cat Keenan at age 16 was meowing consistently, something he had never done before, he came to me and I scolded him for meowing and driving me crazy, and shortly thereafter, I was giving mouth to mouth resuscitation, he died of a heart attack.

Midnight, age 22, died 3 days before I returned from a trip to Paris during the LA riots. Before I left he was especially needy and I kept consoling him telling him I would return, don't worry. Little did I know.

I'm sorry your family will be going through this. But Tiocy will tell you. Look into her eyes, see her energy level as it begins to wane more and more, see what her interest is in eating- is she eating less, skipping meals, needing more alone time, having different bowel habits, feces outside of the cat litter bin, not covering it up anymore, not keeping her fur really clean, keeping her bottom a little soiled. These are the signs I know of to tell you it is time.

For me it was more painful to watch 2 natural deaths, letting nature take its course. Euthanasia appeared to be the humane thing to do, especially when there was obvious suffering.

For 3 years I didn't have animals after Sunshine. But then I realized animal lovers are here to take care of the wonderful creatures on this planet and when they depart they expect you to continue. Animal lovers are here to serve nature's creatures and vice versa it appears.

Tiocy sounds like a wonderful cat to have your family love her so much. My heartfelt empathy goes out to you and your family during this time.

PurpleKisses · Post by **PurpleKisses** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:01 pm

Thank you so much. She overall still seems okay, but her breathing has its ups and downs. I am sadly watching her everyday, waiting for those signs. I do not want to see them, and I am afraid that I will block it from my view. I would of course have her put down if I thought she was in pain. I wish I did not have to think of this. Here is my baby girl........(Sorry they are so big)

Juniper · Post by **Juniper** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:11 pm

She's just beautiful! Reminds me of my cat Spunky- she could pass as his sister. Thanks for the pics.

willowchow · Post by **willowchow** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 12:49 am

Awwww. . .what a beautiful cat! Willow sends her purple kisses and good thoughts for a lot of comfort at this difficult time. You've given her a great life.

Rogansmommy · Post by **Rogansmommy** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 4:07 am

What a pretty kitty!! I love the first picture. They look so cute with their eyes closed.

pannw1267 · Post by **pannw1267** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:53 am

I feel for you and your family, especially your girls. You have some difficult and emotional days ahead. Your cat is beautiful. Take comfort and strength in knowing you gave her a life of love and caring. Our best to all.