Disrespectful ?

[Grizz204]

Having just put down our beloved " Chewy , ( short for Chewbacca , his sir name ) , Neighbors and family have both suggested in time to find another , basically a replacement to fill our lives . Not sure how my wife feels honestly , I think deep down she is like me , in that , It would be disrespectful to our memories of Chewy and of his spirit that I truly hope is still with us .

Much like other animals breed for life , ( Canadian Geese for one ) , I feel that I am now destined to be pet-less for the duration of my life in honor of my little lion man .

Do not misunderstand the difference between disrespecting our memories and abusing or not being good owners of a future Chow if we so changed our minds . Early in life I learned that one cannot compare pets of any kind let alone dogs , as each is different just as people are .

Does any of this make any sense ??? Am I just a rambling grieving Chow owner ??

I know its hard enough on me as is , but when you talk to family and friends and " Oh , How Sad " , " When are you going to get another " keep getting asked , I question my loyalty . I start thinking rescuing another Chow , but then my heart gets motored up and that gets everything back to reality , especially when I walk up to my little mans grave site and I start crying again .


Sorry for the ramblings , I know Martha Stewart lost 1 of her Chows , then got another not to long ago , just wondering how others feel .

Sincerely ,
Fred H.

[bubbybear]

Some times it takes a while. you will know when the time feels right. I lost my girl Sheba just over two years ago. Then lost her sister Gizzy one year ago. One a Chow and one a husky/ shepard, We have a new husky / shepard who is 6 and a new chow boy who just turned one. I stiil grieve for my two girls but know they are together and I am reminded of them each and every day. Tyton and Mia are inserperable so i know in my heart they will need a friend if something should happen to either one of them. My girls Sheba and Gizzy were that way also. each pair was is so different but still the same. The memories we carry with us allow us to heal and give our hearts to another four legged furkid. Each person is also different when dealing with grief .

[chowmia2]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very hard and the grieving process is a long and arduous task. But....it is one that you will get through. I think all of us on this forum and any dog lover has had at least endured the grief of losing a beloved companion or two. Or maybe more. Speaking for myself, when I lost my Joey last summer I endured partly because we added our Tao to our home and hearts 1 month after his loss. Tao will never take Joeys place, nor is he intended to. It would be so unfair to him to expect that he take the place of a love nothing else could fill. But he loves us and we him in ways so unlike our Joe. And he helped to heal our hearts for our loss in ways nothing else could.
Everyone is different. Maybe you are not ever going to be ready to love another Chow again. Maybe you will be. In time your heart will tell you that. It seems to me you have a lot of love yet to give. One day perhaps....

[Zhuyos mom]

Fred, yes it makes sense, and yes, you are a rambling grieving chow owner. But nothing wrong with that whatsoever. One day you'll see a chow somewhere who needs a home. That chow will tug at your heart and make you loose all senses. It will be then you will realize your Chewy is aligning your heart with that chow and it will hit you like a ton of bricks. Could be today, could be in a year or so. No harm in looking at pictures of chows who need a home.

On Martha: Martha lost at least 4 chows. I think Max (her black chow chow) was her 'heart' chow. He died right after she was released from the women's correctional center. Her red chow chow, Paw Paw, was so distraught, she got the french bulldogs to keep her company. Martha mentioned on her show she wanted to get a couple of dogs that would act more like dogs, also mentioning Paw Paw liked to do his daily thing and then take a nap. When Paw Paw passed, she adopted one of Paw Paw's grandsons but it had some sort of something going on and she adopted a different chowling also from Paw Paw's line. But an accidental fire at the breeders killed both those chowlings. Months later, a great grandson of Paw Paw's is born and that's her new boy, Genghis Khan (same name as the chowling that died in the fire). You would think she would continue on with french bulldog trend but no, she was 'touched by a chow' just like us!

[Victory]

I still miss my sweet MingToy. My "I own the world and everything it it" LiChi. Mr, "how dare you leave me alone" Ming and my super sweet Darkwind. And I'll miss Ms. "I'm so special" Firesong and my baby boy Dreamdancer. Part of the problem with being human is we out live them. Because I live without a human for company I have my chows and they are a part of my life. When I don't have one I feel depressed and anxious, I hope to die with a chow or two by my side. They are all different and one never replaces another, I look at like saying goodbye for a time to an old friend and greeting a new friend. That doesn't take away from the old, nor does it diminish the relationship with the new one(s), everytime you love you add a bit to the world I think.

[Mountaindogs]

Fred,
Like all the other responses, I too can appreciate "your rambling grieving chow lover"craziness. I lost my Sierra just before Christmas of this past year. She was just two years old and her death was very sudden. I have had 5 chows in my life and I have experienced three of their deaths. Hers was indeed the most difficult. But I do hold a special place in my heart for each-and-every-one of them. Sierra left her two year old buddy Smokey. Who was devastated and very sad. I was absolutely not ready to get another chow but I knew that he needed a companion. So we have been looking for a yound one to rescue and/ or adopt. We found one in the past month and spent the last week driving from CT to WI to get her. Just the process of getting Sierra's leashes, etc out for temporary use brought back her memory in waves of emotions. I have spent the past week grieving her even more and making the transition to putting my attention into this new 8 month old sweetie pie named Echo. It felt like I was moving on too soon and that this transition was somewhat "disrespectful" of Sierra's short little life. But what I have come to is a shift of her love and significance to me, to another place in my heart and mind. So that I could make room to love this little bundle of fur. I started this process believing that I was getting another dog for Smokey. But what I have come to over this past week is that Echo has entered my life and heart as much for me as for Smokey. You will know when the right time is to give your love to another chow. There are so many out there who need the attention of a "Chow Lover"... and one will be lucky enough to be selected by you. Sounds to me that you still have a lot to give to these beautiful creatures. Best to you as you continue to grieve and as you move toward giving your heart to another "purple tongued babe".

I saw the movie "Marley and Me" this afternoon for the first time. If you have not seen it you should. It is about a man's (family's) love for their dog. It brought many tears to my eyes.

Best to you.

Donna

[CoraP.]

I am very sorry for your loss, Fred. It is hard to imagine at first ever getting another chow when one so beloved has gone, but with time you may change your mind. They have a way of getting their humans "hooked" on chows, and it's very hard to be without one. Let time help to heal the hurt, and see what happens is my advice. There are many out there who need a good home like yours.

[Michael's Maggie May]

I remember taking my chinabear's face in both my hands as she was dying on my living room floor and asking her "what am I going to do without you"? I had her for 16 yrs and let me tell you it was the hardest thing ever, the tears are welling up as I write this. It took me 13 hrs to dig a hole in this Georgia red clay and I have a statue of St. Francis standing over her.I knew I had to replace her for she was with me all the time, I was lonely without her. I sat down at my computer 2 months later and e-mailed every chow breeder in the southeast United States asking if they had a black female puppy for sale.I wanted one that looked just like her, color,*Censored Word* and all.
It took a couple of months more until i was contacted by a breeder in Atlanta less than 50 miles from me that she had a 7 month old show puppy for sale and if I was interested. Well It was love at first sight that I fell in love with my new little, spoiled,fresh troublemaker that I have just finished repairing the baseboard in the living room from her teething that I didn't see her doing.
As I walk her in the yard and I pass chinabears grave I ask her for help in helping me raise my
new Maggie May, I'm in love again and I never knew It was possible. The hurt will pass Fred.

The brillance of these administraters censored the word *Censored Word*.

[Auddymay]

It's an auto program. You have to say gender for sax, and have a c0cktail or peac0ck, because it will get you!

[Dogdad]

Everyone is different and grieves differently. I got Maxine very shortly after Maxwell passed. I did it because we needed eachother, no one will ever replace Maxwell, I am still grieving but Maxine does help keep my mind off Maxwell
You will know when you are ready.

David

[zingara_princepessa]

Hi Fred -

I'm a long time member of the board, but haven't been here for quite a while. I've worked in rescue for many years and am in the process of trying to start my own group. Chows are my favorite breed, but I don't own one right now.

I see getting another dog this way: if your pup made SUCH an impression on you, you aren't replacing him when you adopt another dog. You're honouring him. When you open your heart to another pet, it means that the one you have lost made such a huge impact on you that you are willing to take the chance on letting another into your heart. The dog you've lost has paved the way.

One relationship bears no resemblance to another in human terms and I believe it's the same with our pets. Each one has something to teach us....some reason why they've crossed our path. When the time is right, the dog who needs you, and the dog you need, will make himself known.

You sound like a really nice person. The very fact that you're questioning the idea of adopting again tells me that you're likely a really good home. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you will leave yourself open to the possibility of another family member.

Best regards,
Jenn

[Michael's Maggie May]

Beautifully said Jenn

[Grizz204]

Thank You to everybody for the kind words . I truly believe in a divine intervention when it came to Chewy . Being led to him on the internet 14+ years ago , Twice protecting him when he got separated from us , ( once for just a few minutes while camping , the second though was heart wrenching over night here at home ) and protecting him when he got loose from me in a parking lot .
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ ... ewy723.jpg



Sincerely ,

Fred H.

[Victory]

That's a beautiful memorial to him.

[Grizz204]

The above link is a proof of the memorial that will be placed here on our property at his site . We choose that particular site because it was one of his favorite places to go and lay down and watch the world go by . Although we have 5 acres , only the inner 1+ acre around home is woven wire fence , thus we use to close the driveway gate and let him run free .

Sincerely ,

Fred H.

[Grizz204]

Below is the link for were we purchased Chewy's memorial . Although the computer proof is clearer in the picture of him ,

being that the image is etched in stone / ceramic , it is a little more diffused but still very recognizable .

We ordered and received the 12" x 12" , worth every penny at $40 .

http://myworld.ebay.com/lazergifts/


Sincerely ,

Fred H.

[hayleedog]

I am truly sorry for your loss and happy at the same time that you had 14 wonderful years with him. The question about whether or not to get another dog is something only you can answer. Everyone grieves differently and no one way is the right way. For me, when I had to put my girl haylee down last september after 13 wonderful years I had no intention of getting another dog right away, but every time I walked in the house and felt the emptiness my heart broke a little more each day.

I finally felt I had to bring something alive into the house to give me something else to focus on other then my loss and grief. I got murphy at a local pet store. He was as different from haylee as he could be, a male rather then a female, a small dog rather then the large breed she was. I felt that was important so when I looked at him I wasn't seeing her. It does get easier with time. I can think of her and not cry now. Her stuffed bear thats wearing the st francis medal she wore on her collar has a special place on the back of my couch, and every now and then when I think about her my heart skips a beat. I do have a female chow now that came into my life suddenly, and though haylee wasn't a chow she and hannah are almost identical in coloring. Haylee will alway hold a special place in my heart and no one will ever replace her but I find comfort in my new kids, my house is alive again, and in many ways they've helped heal me.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it'll be the right choice for you.