Opinions Please
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Opinions Please
I have posted before about this topic and the many responses I received were heartfelt and caring. Here I am finding myself in almost the very same spot I was in some months ago, which is what prompted me to ask for your opinions back then.
Some of you may remember my Joey, my chow boy that has inoperable ED, OCD etc..I have been nursing him along. He has had some bad days but in the last several months he has had more good than bad. Over the last month his left elbow was bothering him more than usual and in addition to the odd gait he has he developed a moderate limp. So we did as we usually do, no more short walks, Tramadol when needed, helping him to his feet when needed. Last Tuesday we woke up to find him completely unable to use his L rear leg. His knee has bothered him on a couple of occasions before, but nothing like this. He is not able to bear weight on the leg at all. This of course is adding more stress to the already stressed elbow joints. Of course I wait to see if all the stress now place on the only "good" leg he has left ruptures that ACL as well. He was on Nupro Joint supplement. I recently changed to Synovi G3, but I fear no joint supplement is going to help us right now.
I always knew the day would come when I would have to make the decision to let him go. With 2 specialists and his regular vet telling me the elbow issues are too complex to operate on and have any good outcome, now I am faced with a What To DO about this latest, the ruptured ACL. I know that surgery is an option, but in taking into account the severity of his elbows and the front end weakness, do I want to put him through that? Am I only prolonging what is inevitable? For the first time since I have loved my boy, he is not the happy, tail-wagging love he always was. No matter what, his tail was always wagging. Through the indignity of us having to lift him to his feet (you can tell his big boy chow dignity is a bit bruised that he even needs the help) to the days when he could barely shuffle his front legs along, his tail always talked to us. Over this last week, he has cried where I have never heard him before, and his tail is wagging only half way.I guess only I will know if its time. But my heart can't bear even the thought of a day without him. He turned 1 year on September the 29th.
Perhaps logical advice, for my emotions have been weeping all week. Thank you for listening.
Karen
Some of you may remember my Joey, my chow boy that has inoperable ED, OCD etc..I have been nursing him along. He has had some bad days but in the last several months he has had more good than bad. Over the last month his left elbow was bothering him more than usual and in addition to the odd gait he has he developed a moderate limp. So we did as we usually do, no more short walks, Tramadol when needed, helping him to his feet when needed. Last Tuesday we woke up to find him completely unable to use his L rear leg. His knee has bothered him on a couple of occasions before, but nothing like this. He is not able to bear weight on the leg at all. This of course is adding more stress to the already stressed elbow joints. Of course I wait to see if all the stress now place on the only "good" leg he has left ruptures that ACL as well. He was on Nupro Joint supplement. I recently changed to Synovi G3, but I fear no joint supplement is going to help us right now.
I always knew the day would come when I would have to make the decision to let him go. With 2 specialists and his regular vet telling me the elbow issues are too complex to operate on and have any good outcome, now I am faced with a What To DO about this latest, the ruptured ACL. I know that surgery is an option, but in taking into account the severity of his elbows and the front end weakness, do I want to put him through that? Am I only prolonging what is inevitable? For the first time since I have loved my boy, he is not the happy, tail-wagging love he always was. No matter what, his tail was always wagging. Through the indignity of us having to lift him to his feet (you can tell his big boy chow dignity is a bit bruised that he even needs the help) to the days when he could barely shuffle his front legs along, his tail always talked to us. Over this last week, he has cried where I have never heard him before, and his tail is wagging only half way.I guess only I will know if its time. But my heart can't bear even the thought of a day without him. He turned 1 year on September the 29th.
Perhaps logical advice, for my emotions have been weeping all week. Thank you for listening.
Karen
Re: Opinions Please
Very tragic. I think you already know the answers, and it is not easy, to let such a young and loving Chow boy like Joey suffer, and even harder to make the final decision. I know you hope he will rally, and this is just a rough patch, but I think you also know it is not just a rough patch. It is just too damn hard to look at it in the face. Until you can look at that truth, it won't matter what we think or write.I will offer my support, such as it is, and say a prayer that the Lord watch over Joey, and to make his suffering less...and to make your suffering less as well.
Re: Opinions Please
Auddymay,
Your words brought tears to my eyes, again. I know what you say is the truth, it is reality. But it hurts so much more when it comes from someone else other than myself because I am hoping that this is just another rough patch. Your words hit me in the heart. Thank you for care.
Your words brought tears to my eyes, again. I know what you say is the truth, it is reality. But it hurts so much more when it comes from someone else other than myself because I am hoping that this is just another rough patch. Your words hit me in the heart. Thank you for care.
Re: Opinions Please
I wish I could buffer you from my harsh words. It is not a kindness to measure what I believe is the truth, nor is it kind to state it so bluntly. My words were hard to write as well, and I also had tears in doing it. There is just no easy way. I cannot know for certain it is Joey's time, but you were very honest in his condition, so I imagine his time is near. As you said, you will know, but the knowing just hurts so much. I am so sorry for all you and Joey are going through.
Re: Opinions Please
Oh, I am so sorry for you and Joey - just so sad for all you are going through. You are asking for advivce - I have none to give - because only you will know when it is time.
But, I can support you and be there for you - because whenever you make the decision, I am sure that it will be the right thing at the right time. You seem to have so much love and empathy for your baby, that it seems that you will make an unselfish decision.
I pray for you and hurt for you.
But, I can support you and be there for you - because whenever you make the decision, I am sure that it will be the right thing at the right time. You seem to have so much love and empathy for your baby, that it seems that you will make an unselfish decision.
I pray for you and hurt for you.
Mia
Re: Opinions Please
This is so sad for you and Joey. I can't tell you, either, what to do. I think, though, that you will know when he has had enough. We always hope that they will get better and things will improve...if they don't, I'm sure you will do what is best for him.
CoraP.
Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.
Jules Jusserand
Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.
Jules Jusserand
Re: Opinions Please
This is so sad, It is so hard to let go, it is so hard to see them suffer. Eventually we all get to the point that we would rather let go than to continue their suffering. It is the price we pay for their unconditional love. No one can tell you when it is time, Only you and Joey will know. Spend as much time with Joey as you can, you will always have regrets but spending time will help
David
David
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wallacethegreat
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- Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:36 am
- Location: Cedar Grove, New Mexico
Re: Opinions Please
I think Joey is beginning to tell you it's time...but you will know that moment. It is unmistakable. The most painful thing is that he's so young. But Karen, look at it this way, if you can...you have had a wonderful year with this wonderful, unique and loving little guy who will have changed your life in many ways. Our animal friends, in my opinion, are here to teach us lessons of the spiritual kind.
Take it from someone who has lost two Chow boys this year...you will know and Joey will tell you. It doesn't make it any easier to work through the pain of loss, but if you're lucky...and you WILL be...Joey will send you another Chow soul to love when you're ready.
You're in my thoughts and prayers...I know how tough it is, but you can DO this. For Joey.
Take it from someone who has lost two Chow boys this year...you will know and Joey will tell you. It doesn't make it any easier to work through the pain of loss, but if you're lucky...and you WILL be...Joey will send you another Chow soul to love when you're ready.
You're in my thoughts and prayers...I know how tough it is, but you can DO this. For Joey.
Laura Mac, mama to Fozzie-Bear and to Berkley-Bear and Oliver Wallace, my angel Chows
Re: Opinions Please
You all have been so great, so supportive and understanding. As I know Joey and I are nearing the end of our time together, I take some solace in knowing that you are all there to offer comfort and support with your wisdom and kind words. Your right, I will know when it is time. I think I will always second guess myself because I want so desparately for him to rally and be with me for the next 15 years. I like to think that God wil keep him loved for me until the day comes that I get called home.
I will take each moment as it comes. No plans, just time.
I will take each moment as it comes. No plans, just time.
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IliamnasQuest
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- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:04 am
- Location: Alaska
Re: Opinions Please
Karen, it is just heartbreaking to hear what you and Joey are going through. It is just so wrong for a dog his age to have to suffer with these conditions. A friend of mine went through a very similar situation with her chow and I felt so bad for her. It's hard enough having to make the decision to let go when your dog has lived a long, full life - but having to consider it when your dog is still basically a puppy is a cruel situation for you both.
There is a poem that I first read on a German Shepherd list some 9 or 10 years ago. It was such a heartfelt poem that expressed exactly what we go through when we have to make the choice to let our loved ones go. I've used it to help me through several losses over the years and I keep it on one of my websites. I know that others on this list have also shared this poem - it truly is expressive.
I'm sure I speak for many others on this forum when I say that our thoughts are with you ..
Melanie and the gang in Alaska
The Greatest Gift
Karla M. Bertram, 11/23/96
I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then and I keep that promise now . . .
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.
It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fears ride high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.
It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready.
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger,
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.
The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow,
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken, and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made.
This one brings no relief . . . no comfort . . . no peace.
For if there's one thing you've taught me,
If there's only one thing I've learned. . . .
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.
Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me know, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.
I pray I will find comfort in my memories . . .
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this: as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.
So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift . . . sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love . . .
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."
There is a poem that I first read on a German Shepherd list some 9 or 10 years ago. It was such a heartfelt poem that expressed exactly what we go through when we have to make the choice to let our loved ones go. I've used it to help me through several losses over the years and I keep it on one of my websites. I know that others on this list have also shared this poem - it truly is expressive.
I'm sure I speak for many others on this forum when I say that our thoughts are with you ..
Melanie and the gang in Alaska
The Greatest Gift
Karla M. Bertram, 11/23/96
I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then and I keep that promise now . . .
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.
It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fears ride high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.
It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready.
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger,
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.
The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow,
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken, and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made.
This one brings no relief . . . no comfort . . . no peace.
For if there's one thing you've taught me,
If there's only one thing I've learned. . . .
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.
Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me know, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.
I pray I will find comfort in my memories . . .
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this: as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.
So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift . . . sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love . . .
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."
Re: Opinions Please
Karen,
I remember you posting about Joey and how much he was hurting.I am so sorry that he is so young and this is happening to you both.
there are no words to ease the pain of watching such a young boy suffer.
please know that my prayers are with you both.
I remember you posting about Joey and how much he was hurting.I am so sorry that he is so young and this is happening to you both.
there are no words to ease the pain of watching such a young boy suffer.
please know that my prayers are with you both.
Kito Feb 4, 2006 - July 1,2007
Kai Mar.15 2007 - Aug. 26,2010
And when my time comes I will not go alone for my Chows will be there to say "Welcome Home".
Kai Mar.15 2007 - Aug. 26,2010
And when my time comes I will not go alone for my Chows will be there to say "Welcome Home".
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chowchowdaddy
- Rank 1
- Posts: 282
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:51 am
- Location: fishers, in
Re: Opinions Please
Karen...
My heart and those of my family go out to you and Joey. As others have pointed out, no one can make a decision for you and, while it's likely to be one of the most difficult and painful decisions you will ever have to make, it's also the last true gift you can bestow upon Joey. The chance for him to go on, to be free of pain. I believe in my heart that we'll all meet again, everyone whole and happy and healthy...
Please know that you and Joey are in our thoughts and prayers...
My heart and those of my family go out to you and Joey. As others have pointed out, no one can make a decision for you and, while it's likely to be one of the most difficult and painful decisions you will ever have to make, it's also the last true gift you can bestow upon Joey. The chance for him to go on, to be free of pain. I believe in my heart that we'll all meet again, everyone whole and happy and healthy...
Please know that you and Joey are in our thoughts and prayers...
Re: Opinions Please
I have no words of wisdom; no words of hope; just tears of sadness at what you are both going through. My heart reaches out to you both...
Cecelia
Cecelia
"To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun?" Katherine Graham
Re: Opinions Please
Well, Joey and I visited his vet this AM. I just needed to hear one last time what I know in my heart. She said he was a surgical candidate, but it would only be a temporary fix. Because of all of the other joint issues he has, the surgery is almost pointless. She found the ACL tear but also swelling in his hock joint as well so there are several issues we are looking at in that leg, not just the ACL rupture. She very kindly told me she felt the most loving thing I could do for him would be to let him go.
As my daughter was helping him into the car, I looked at urns. I think the ONLY way I am going to get through this is to know he will be back home with me soon.
And so, this weekend, my boy and I will be spending a lot of time together(he loves it when I read to him) and sharing a big juicey steak. I am going to try and squeeze over a decade of love into a few short days. And then make an appointment to say goodbye at the beginning of next week.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Karen
As my daughter was helping him into the car, I looked at urns. I think the ONLY way I am going to get through this is to know he will be back home with me soon.
And so, this weekend, my boy and I will be spending a lot of time together(he loves it when I read to him) and sharing a big juicey steak. I am going to try and squeeze over a decade of love into a few short days. And then make an appointment to say goodbye at the beginning of next week.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Karen
Re: Opinions Please
Oh, Karen, I am so sorry, so very sorry. Give Joey a hug and kiss from Molly and I. 
CoraP.
Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.
Jules Jusserand
Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.
Jules Jusserand
Re: Opinions Please
That has to be so hard, I would not know what to do. Seeing him in so much pain, and being so young is so heart breaking. We will pray for you and Joey.
Thanks Sweatpea
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Tabatha
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Tabatha
Re: Opinions Please
I am so sorry. To help him keep his dignity, you might want to make a sling to help support him when he tries to go potty. A flat sheet hooked under his belly is all you would need. You may already be doing that, but thought I would make mention. I know you will love and pamper him beyond words.
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Chow Chow Mama
- Rank 3
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- Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 2:36 pm
Re: Opinions Please
This will be the worst weekend of your life and it will go by way too fast. It has been 14 months since I had to go through the same steps you are taking right now.
Take pictures to look at after your heart heals and if you don't have someone already going with you, please find someone to drive you home. You won't be in any condition to drive yourself.![[:D]](./images/smilies/hugs.gif "Hugs")
Take pictures to look at after your heart heals and if you don't have someone already going with you, please find someone to drive you home. You won't be in any condition to drive yourself.
Re: Opinions Please
Karen,
I'm so sorry for you and Joey this will be the hardest part of loving him.
you will both be in my prayers and we are here when you need us.
I'm so sorry for you and Joey
this will be the hardest part of loving him.you will both be in my prayers and we are here when you need us.
Kito Feb 4, 2006 - July 1,2007
Kai Mar.15 2007 - Aug. 26,2010
And when my time comes I will not go alone for my Chows will be there to say "Welcome Home".
Kai Mar.15 2007 - Aug. 26,2010
And when my time comes I will not go alone for my Chows will be there to say "Welcome Home".
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chowchowdaddy
- Rank 1
- Posts: 282
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:51 am
- Location: fishers, in
Re: Opinions Please
As I and others have said before, our hearts are breaking along with yours. Many of us have had to go through similar times, albeit not always with such a young soul as Joey, but if knowing that you're not alone in this can ease your pain just a small bit, please know that our thoughts and tears are with you now...
Tears are streaming down my face as I type this, but take heart: Joey will be waiting for you some day and he'll be so happy to see you...
Tears are streaming down my face as I type this, but take heart: Joey will be waiting for you some day and he'll be so happy to see you...
Re: Opinions Please
Karen, you are showing the ultimate sign of love, Giving Joey relief from his pain and taking it upon yourself. Take lots of pictures,give him lots of love. Remember you are doing the right thing, no matter how much it hurts. He will always be around if you keep him in your heart and when your time comes he will be there waiting for you
David
David
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threedogjeep
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- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:31 pm
- Location: Perkiomenville, PA
Re: Opinions Please
I can hardly see to type. My Caitlyn, age 15, is losing power of her hind legs and fretting when I am not in sight. She has been my angel in a life filled with grief. I will think of you often this weekend as I prepare for my own goodbye. 
Twelve Paws UP!!
Sharon Rose
Sharon Rose
Re: Opinions Please
Karen I am so sorry...my heart breaks with you and for you. Take pics...snip some of his fur...maybe do a paw print if you like...spoil him and cherish the moments. I can't imagine the pain of losing one so young. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Chloe (left) Shuggy (right)
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chow fancier
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- Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:26 am
- Location: Rockford, IL
Re: Opinions Please
I type this through tears. I am so sorry you are in this position. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and my girls were seniors. Know that it is the most unselfish and loving thing you can do for him and that we are all with you. God bless you and your family.
Jerilyn
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Until there are none, adopt one!
http://www.dogster.com/dogs/631376
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Banner courtesy of the amazing Sweetpea.
Until there are none, adopt one!
http://www.dogster.com/dogs/631376
http://www.dogster.com/dogs/650868
Re: Opinions Please
My heart, my tears, my prayers are with you. Blessed are we that have even but a moment of life with a Chowling. I made the same decision on the Thursday before the first day of Fall. It was the hardest decision I was ever to make this far into my life. Brush your boy and save his fur. I have a large bag full of Tess's fur. I smell it every now and again. The smell is still so sweet. God bless you for making this so very hard & unselfish decision.